Wonkette
You know how Barack Obama’s people have the whole “Fight the Smears” thing, where you copy and paste some text that says, “I’m very disappointed in you, Barack Obama does not worship the Shark God even though he is from Hawaii” and you spam it all over the place? Well, about FOUR MILLION YEARS after the Democrats came up with this crazy idea that they could “harness the power of blogs” or whatever, John McCain’s Internet wizards have finally unveiled their own version called, let’s see, Spread the Word. Because they are Capitalist Pigs, they offer material incentives to their “volunteers,” such as three minutes in heaven with Miss Buffalo Chip in exchange for spamming 4,000 liberal blogs with claptrap.
Of course volunteers are encouraged to use their own words, but creativitity is for liberal pussies. Fortunately, they provide some Talking Points, which it seems you could copy and paste, if you are a cheater.
The Issue: Partisanship
There are serious issues at stake in this election, and serious differences between the candidates. And we will argue about them, as we should. But it should remain an argument among friends; each of us struggling to hear our conscience, and heed its demands; each of us, despite our differences, united in our great cause, and respectful of the goodness in each other.
Ugh, do you hear that? That is the voice in your head imitating John McCain reading that, and then drowning itself in a puddle.
Spread The Word [JohnMcCain.com]
John McCain is the bestest candidate evar and you Obamabots need to wake up and smell the news!
“Spread the Word”? I thought that was called “Spreading Santorum”?
How come the McCainiac talking points aren’t ALL CAPS and don’t have por grammer and spalling?
…our dear Wonkette hasn’t elevated itself to the level of being spam bombed by WALNUTS! army of bikers and pop singers?
I think Wonkette is just jealous that they weren’t on the McCain list of suggested blogs to troll.
Wait wait….why is my Wonkette not at the top of the suggested list? Are we under the dropdown for “snark” or “trucknutz” or “not worth the effort”?
I was disappointed that Wonkette didn’t show up on the list. I’d have popped popcorn and watch the ensuing hilarity.
All right, listen, guys. John McCain has a comprehensive economic plan that will create millions of good American jobs, ensure our nation’s energy security, get the government’s budget and spending practices in order, and bring relief to American consumers. Read each of the sections below to learn how the McCain Economic Plan will help bring reform, prosperity and peace to America.
So go lick a taint.
“Argument among friends?” WTF? Can’t remember the last time I called one of my friends a traitor. It just goes to show, democracy doesn’t work.
mc cain totally rocks and his wife has great knockers … ok now can i have my truck nutz?
…geez, I just visited the sight and I cant help but shake my head. You know your base is dense when you have to openly give your supporters detailed “talking points” to discuss. Everyday the GOP becomes more of joke.
There are serious issues at stake in this election, and serious differences between the candidates. And we will argue about them, as we should. But it should remain an argument among friends; each of us struggling to hear our conscience, and heed its demands; each of us, despite our differences, united in our great cause, and respectful of the goodness in each other.
You libs are a bunch or Morans, and although i have almost no concept of what socialism is, I believe you are all a bunch of pinko commie socialists. If you had half a brain you wouldn’t vote for Obama cuz he’s a nig… he’s inexperienced, and he’s a terr… a flip-flopper.
Go back to your communes in Oregon, you damn folwer-child hippies, this is Americuh!
The Issue: Being The First Commenter
F1RST!!!!
The Issue: A Black Person Appears In This Youtube Video
Niggerz. ROFL. haha1!?@
The Issue: Our Nation’s Fiscal Security
The People’s Declaration of Independence
from the Constitution-Ignoring Federal Government
Here’s the problem with FDR’s big, unconstitutional federal government that we have reluctantly inherited, and how to resolve it.
The main problem with our federal government is actually not the government but the people. The problem with the people is that ignorance of the Constitution and its history is epidemic. Widespread constitutional ignorance is evidenced by the following links.
* http://tinyurl.com/npt6t
* http://tinyurl.com/hehr8
The consequence of widespread constitutional ignorance is that the people are impotent to stop ongoing abuses of federal government power, particularly by Congress, the USSC and judges in general. Let’s examine how serious abuses of legislative and judicial federal powers got started as a consequence of widespread ignorance of the law of the land when FDR was President.
With respect to constitutionally unauthorized federal spending by Congress, although FDR’s intention to feed hungry Americans was commendable, he blissfully ignored that his constitutionally haphazard approach to starting his New Deal programs would have catastrophic consequences. To understand why, consider the following.
The Founders had made it clear in the Constitution that federal government powers must not only be enumerated in the Constitution, but that federal spending is reasonably limited to such powers.
* Article I, Sec. 8, Clause 18: To make all Laws which shall be necessary (emphasis added) and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution (emphasis added) in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof.
As noted by Clause 18, the other items listed in Sec. 8 of Article I are good examples of enumerated, spending-related powers.
The hurdle that FDR faced with respect to establishing his New Deal programs was that such federal government responsibilities had never been vested to it by the Constitution. Indeed, because of the Constitution’s silence concerning the kind of programs that FDR wanted to implement, the 10th A. automatically reserved government power to administer such programs to the states, not the federal government.
* 10th Amendment: The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.
So in order for FDR to be able to provide constitutionally authorized federal assistance for people through his proposed spending programs, he first needed to rally the states to exercise their Article V power to amend the Constitution to include his programs. Once this was done, Congress would have the justification to lay taxes to administer them.
Instead, FDR unthinkingly created a situation which fostered a constitutional disaster, a national disaster second only to the Civil War.
As if FDR didn’t understand the Founder’s requirement for constitutionally enumerated federal powers, he strong-armed the USSC to essentially ignore the Founder’s division of federal and state government powers evidenced by the 10th Amendment. He did so so that the USSC could give the green light to his constitutionally unauthorized New Deal programs. FDR then turned his head while the USSC began its tradition of sweeping 10th A. protected state powers under the carpet, a tradition which persists to this day.
Dear Daily KOS,
RE: TRANSFER OF US$106,000,000.00 MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY TO YOUR
ACCOUNT.
I feel quite safe dealing with you in this important business. Though, this
medium (Internet) has been greatly abused, I choose to reach you through it
because it still remains the fastest medium of communication. However, this
correspondence is unofficial and private, and it should be treated as such.
At first I will like to assure you that this transaction is 100% risk and
trouble free to both parties.
Meghan
I wasn’t able to move past the banner featuring McCain’s floating head and the moniker “Country First.” I kept thinking, shouldn’t that be “Cunty First” in homage to Cindy?
(sorry, but I’m 14 “McCain Pesos” shy of a free golf bag and every volunteer peso counts double if its earned doing something just a little bit meta)
My friends, I don’t care if we stay in Iraq 100 years. Bombbombbomb, bombbomb Iran.
Where do I pick up my divot and tire gauge?
John McCain has a comprehensive economic plan that will create millions of good Chinese jobs, ensure Saudi Arabia’s security, get the government’s budget and spending practices completely out of control, and bring relief to American investment bankers. Click to learn how the McCain Economic Plan will help bring chaos, poverty and death to America.
Am i doin it rite?
ManchuCandidate: Oh, but they do. From WALNUTS! list of Conservative blogs, a description as penned by Betty Lou via the Sun City Computer Lab:
“Blackfive
Supporting the military, caring for the wounded, remebering the fallen, and honoring the sacrifices. Go to Site”
Terry: There’s only one thing to do. Start spreading McCain’s talking points verbatim to every blog out there, but do it wonkette style. Maybe replace every mention of Vietnam with assfucking or something.
Dear Wonkette readers, I just wanted to say “There are serious issues at stake in this election, and serious differences between the candidates. And we will argue about them, as we should. But it should remain an argument among friends; each of us struggling to hear our conscience,”
Oh gag, I’m starting to puke; I can’t go on writing this without feeling like a Republican whore.
Never-mind
Gopherit v2.0: I prefer a simple “BIG $ALE ON TRUCK NUTZ” tactic.
Imagine how capable our country would be with President McCain calling Osama Bin Laden’s 5th wife a cunt. And clearly, bombing Iran and killing scores of everyday people will make enraged fundamentalist Muslims who think they will be rewarded for killing themselves and others too afraid to commit terror attacks.
Yesterday, Spread the Wife. Today, Spread the Word.
Wow — like what does McCain think of his base? No self-respecting conservative would lower himself to mindlessly repeating dumbass talking points everywhere as though instead of sentient human beings they’re actually shit-for-brains zombies with no actual will.
April fools!
“despite our differences”. You just had to play the race card, didn’t you McCain?
Botswana Meat Commission FC: Who’s this FDR dude? Is that Hitler?
BillyClubb: Keep to your talking points, comrade!
Terry:
on dull days, i’m sometimes tempted to bait some of the seriously moranic nyt
commenters over here to wonkette so we could have some fun with them
[although i wouldn't do that without polling y'all]…
but this is too freakin much. i’m happy we’re not on their list.
Gopherit v2.0:
i’m not sure if assfucking would pass muster at non-wonkette style sites.
perhaps buttseks.
“John McCain will reform the payment systems in Medicaid and Medicare to compensate providers for diagnosis, prevention and care coordination. Medicaid and Medicare should not pay for preventable medical errors or mismanagement. We also need to implement a zero tolerance policy towards Medicare and Medicaid fraud that is increasingly stripping away resources from the sick and the elderly. ”
Now, can I have my dog back?
An “army of commenters” all trying to text with their Jitterbug phones isn’t all that daunting…
S.Luggo: FDR was Hitler’s driver.
loquaciousmusic: Did you cut and paste the first part, or the second?
—CUT HERE FOR BOYS—
Signed,
Trollop4TRucknutz
—END CUT—
—CUT HERE FOR GIRLS—
Signed,
Cuntastic
—END CUT—
S.Luggo: Shut up, Jonah.
There are serious issues at stake in this election, and serious differences between the candidates. And we will argue about them, as we should. But it should remain an argument among friends; each of us struggling to hear our conscience, and heed its demands, even if one of us has less experience leading a country than Paris Hilton’s twat, while the other can draw on his recall of the drafting of the Federalist papers; each of us, despite our differences, united in our great cause, even though one is a Muslim terrorist currently planning a sneak attack, while the other is a heroic former war criminal, and respectful of the goodness in each other, even though none exists in my opponent.
I’m Paris Hilton and I approve this message cause it’s HOTT.
S.Luggo: No, he’s just like Neville Chamberlain!
people, please… be civil. after all, there are serious issues at stake in this election, and serious differences between the candidates. and we will argue about them, as we should. but it should remain an argument among friends; each of us struggling to hear our conscience, and heed its demands; each of us, despite our differences, united in our great cause, and respectful of the goodness in each other.
Shouldn’t those computers be dusty Apple IIs or maybe an IBM 286 with an external 14.4 modem to better visually connect with what these intertube surfers are most likely using?
Since I can’t get any McCain Miles by visiting this site, there is no reason for me to come here anymore. Laters!
NebraskashireGentry: Did they change the denomination or something? Isn’t it 10,000 pills = 1 cunt, and 5,000 cheek divots to a trollop? What’s the exchange rate on that…?
Master the possibilities. This could be more fun than the “Ask Obama” thread. Wait for it…wait for it…
“Select from the numerous web, blog and news sites listed here, go there, and declare your man love for John McCain. Once you’ve commented on a post, video or news story, report the details of your comment by clicking the button below. After your comments are verified, you will be awarded points through the McCain Online Action Center.”
“Points”. Is that what Cindy is calling Oxy these days?
Is McCain asking his supporters to post these talking points because he wouldn’t be able to do it himself?
Gopherit v2.0:
John McCain has always stood behind solid American values, such as assf#$%ing.
DieOnTheTurnpike: older…try ENIAC with gigantic vacuum tubes.
Ther are serieis isues at steak in htis elcteion, and serieis difrences betweed hte canidates. An we well argue abot then, as we shoold. (corrected text)
S.Luggo:
gah. that Paultard rant was just obnoxiously long.
To answer your question, though: FDR killed George Washington then invented the Amero.
…hey everyone Kwame Kilpatrick was just ordered to jail for violating his probation!
3 whore diamonds gets you a turn with Cindy.
Many blogs are set-up to suck-up any and all comments in a web 2.0 track-back scheme, then auto-publish them as actual comments on the blog. This can be used for good, not evil.
Simply link to a distasteful blog post from another blog heaping derogations upon it, and watch to see how long it takes the assholes to figure out what’s going on. It works best on posts that are not brand new. It’s great fun.
MrAgro: McCain, cut and paste? post? spam, even? Surely You Jest.
I think there’s one thing, in McCain’s defense, we can all agree on. He has a cute dog!
I heart Sam. Sam > Barney
But if I see any McCain SPAM, I’m joining the NRA…
Dear McCain,
The monitors in the above picture are all blank because they aren’t attached to CPUs.
Yours truly,
Vewol Mevemont
Botswana Meat Commission FC: “It’s like they are proud of their ignorance”
tsunami: I’m for it! Invite them over.
HughJennicks:
You sure? In blogspot, I think it just lists the trackback as “links to this post,” not as actual comments. Or maybe i’m just misunderstanding.
mookworthjwilson: My ENIAC’s currently in the shop — there’s too much play in the steering wheel, so I’m having it adjusted.
you realize the McIdiot campaign is actually loooking to the commenters to provide talking points to THEM. I mean, left to their own devices they came up with Paris Hilton and Moses!
Not_So_Much: a Jitterbug reference is always priceless. I might steal that.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Pellentesque nisi. Nulla eu velit vel felis vehicula molestie. Aliquam et diam. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Morbi tristique eros sed enim. Curabitur eu ante eget dolor aliquet sagittis.
The Ladie’s Literary Circle at McIneedaCane’s blog introduced me to NASCAR romance novels yesterday.
They read.
McCain deals the technology card…from the bottom of the deck.
trophy(forparticipation)wife: Slashfics? Jeff Gordon x Tony Stewart 4eva
cal: e pluribus unum, dammit!
So NOW they recognize that the internet has been pretty much kicking the campaign’s ass for like 20 years. Poor bastards. One must respect the librul interwebs, or at least be aware of it.
You guys are ignoring the real issues, here. Fact is that John McCain has a comprehensive economic plan that will create millions of good American jobs, ensure our nation’s energy security, get the government’s budget and spending practices in order, and bring relief to American consumers. Click to learn how the McCain Economic Plan will help bring reform, prosperity and peace to America.
Also, trucknutz.
“…and respectful of the goodness in each other.”
So, no calling someone a cunt, for instance? Boorrrrring!
No fair! I want right-wing trolls, too! Why should Colorado Pols and C&L and those guys have all the fun?!
(by the way, having a bitch of a time logging in … something wrong with the tubes?)
We should copy the suggested text from the McCain spam and carefully reword it. For example:
There are serious issues at stake in this election, and serious differences between the candidates. And we will argue about them, as we should. But it should remain an argument among friends; each of us struggling to hear our conscience, and heed its demands; each of us, despite our differences, united in our great cause, and respectful of the goodness in each other except towards homo-muslims. We should skewer them.
I am struggling to hear my conscience, but I think it stepped out for a cigarette break.
Help spread the word about John McCain on news and blog sites. The word of the day is “legs”. Haha! Just kidding. Now that I have your attention, let me tell you a little something about this man named John McCain. He is running for president against a black muslim.
cal: You got that off a PowerPoint template slide - didn’t you?
american mutt: I have a similar problem; the angel that’s supposed to give me the *yawn* good advice sits on the side that’s losing hearing. I hear the devil on the other shoulder more clearly. Which is fine with me; the angel’s usually no fun. And he’s got bad breath (teeth like McOld’s).
These are serious times and serious issues and . . . jesus fucking god, my American Apparel swimslut’s been replaced with a threesome!
The text sounds authentic, but it needs a green background, ghastly grin, and the occasional “My friends” for the full effect.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: It’s a Wordpress add-on mod for sure, and I believe has been copied over to a few other codebases, but on reviewing my past insurgent acts against dipshits using this method, I do not see where it worked for Goggle’s blogs. Everyone wants to be so web 2.0 slovenly these days, so it might appear on Blogspot, but Goggle may be in violation of their own webmaster code of ethics if they implement it.
Ooooooo…..this is fun! I selected “Lincoln Walks at Midnight:, an “other” blog (neither Liberal, Conservative or Moderate, but good ol’ American Other.) The blog’s name is obviously a reference to Hopey’s sordid Abe fetish and his own nocturnal prowls for takeout pancakes and getting around the Pledge of Allegiance by any means necessary.
Fortunately I was able to use Juan’s very own talking points filtered through spellcheck:
“The Issue: Adult Diapers On Our Nation’s Highways
There are serious obstacles on our roadways and in this election, and serious differences between medium, large and extra-large. And we will argue about them, as we should; my opponent is too young to remember that we once had to shit in the woods, not our pants. But it should remain an argument among friends; each of us struggling to drown out each other’s voices; each of us, despite our deep and divisive differences, untied in our great cause, and respectful of the the ill will in each other. In sum, Barry Hussein Osama couldn’t unfold an adult diaper at 3 am if his life depended on it and that’s why I, Juan McSame, should be your next precedent.”