Wonkette
OH HEY, IT’S HILLARY: “Sen. Hillary Clinton told a gathering of supporters last week that she’s looking for a ’strategy’ for her delegates to have their voices heard and ‘respected’ at the Democratic National Convention — and did not rule out the possibility of having her name placed into nomination at the convention alongside Sen. Barack Obama’s.” [ABC NEWS]
SHE'S BAAAACK
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It ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings.
Whoever that is.
What a cunt. Nothing more need be said.
To quote the great Bernard Hermann: “Ree ree ree ree.”
Or she could respect the guy who actually won.
This following Bill’s refusal to say Obama is ready to be president. The rational side of me says this is just the cynical Clintons bamboozling their dipshit supporters to pay down their campaign debt. But the evil side of me says they see Obama stalled in the polls - even dipping below McCain in one - and they are plotting to rehash the “he can’t win” argument. Either way, they have no shame.
Ah, fuck it. I’m drinking early tonight.
She is trying hard to remind us that she, not Edwards, is the nation’s most aggravating narcissist.
It’s amazing that
“Some Clinton backers have even speculated that a roll call could result in a Clinton victory, though Clinton herself has said such an outcome is nearly impossible.”
Who is worse? Paultards of Hilltards? What is the human condition that drives us all to be unabashed morans?
If we all put our heads together, maybe we can get Charlemagne back into this thing.
Looking at that picture I can tell someone needs to tell Hillary that Meth is not the answer.
shortsshortsshorts: Honestly, I’m holding out for Alexander the Great. Because, yenno, he’s so great. Or Robot Nixon.
Zombie Clinton needs braaaaaaaaains……
Delicious: Perhaps you aren’t blessed with a toddler (”look at me, mommy… look at me, daddy… hey, look at me [sob, sob, sob], daddy!?!”). No fancy theories are required to explain this behavior. The difference, of course, is that toddlers are lovable and will eventually be normal, or so we hope.
DO NOT LIKE.
uhm, someone should let Hil know that it’s really not all about her. not that she’d listen, but maybe a daily dose of Reality would help a little
OMFG! We had a little respite, BUT SHE”S BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
That’s the way to make nice with the African American community!
This is a shit way to end a long Wednesday of work. You get done, you think about a bottle of wine and then ABC news kicks you in the balls.
Then again that bottle o’ wine ain’t going nowhere.
Someone needs to punch her in her mouth.
Oh good, because you know what, Obama wasn’t screwing this thing up enough on his own, he needs all the help he can get.
I’m watching Pat Buchanan telling Hopey to take Hillz as his VP. If Hill & Bill weren’t still playing mind games, I’d be inclined to agree.
“Don’t FUCK with me fellas. This ain’t my first time at the rodeo!”
The worst part of the ABC story is there there is a comments section full of PUMAs insisting that Obama can’t win and that if McCain Picks Hillz as his veep, that he’ll win in a landslide, or that if she runs as an independent that it will do anything other than elect Walnuts .
I think there are like 8 people trolling every politics site’s comments who are, in fact, functionally retarded.
I still remember it was August and the moon was shining
My ’07 Prius was rolling through Nebraska whining
Doing a hundred-twenty man the fields was bending over
Hay down our motor mount and we was traveling further
My hash pipe was blazin and the screamin wheels turnin, turnin
A failed contender beside me brother, brother she was burnin, burnin
A hooked up former GOP funky Wellesley school teacher
Said she was in line for the Oval Office but she was just a leecher
We told her that she needed something that would get us going
She pulled out the Jesse Jackson card, then her campaign was blown
She said I had to lay my money down and pay her debt
Asked how much she needed, man, but it’s more than she could get
Get outta Denver better go, go
Get outta Denver better go-ooooh
Get outta Denver better go, go
Get outta Denver
cause you look just like a PUMA and you might just be a member, better
Get outta Denver, baby
Get outta Denver
[Sorry, Bob...]
The one bright side of this is that we might get to see more pix of Chelsea looking all pouty ’cause nobody every bends her over a chair and does her doggystyle.
What her insane pack of pumas want “heard and respected” is that Hillary be anointed Queen Empress Titania of all the Universe, Heaven, Hades and the Isle of Lesbos. Oh, and President of the US of A. Well, fat ladies who won’t stop singing, you can have the first. And some discount coupons to the Dress Barn too.
This is what happens when Gawd gives you 3 testicles.
Obama could have avoided all this by paying off her debt. She’s Brett Farve in a pants suit now. Coming to camp but she really doesn’t want to play for the team anymore. Obama should try and work out a trade to the Vikings before this gets ugly.
The true cunt-trollop finally reveals herself.
JSDC007: Hehe. Dress Barn references are always sure for a laugh.
Man, now I wish I had one of those Obama tire pressure gauges. So I could jam it into my eye socket until it pierces my brain.
This is almost like that scene in the Cape Fear remake where vengeance-driven Robert DeNiro follows Nick Nolte & family by clinging to the bottom of their car for a hundred miles.
…now that she has beaten this dead horse political campaign into a pile hamburger meat she will now proceed to pour sulfuric acid on it and then set it on fire for good measure!
Sauron was not defeated in the battle with Isildur at the end of the Second Age, but rather her spirit survived so long as the delegates were not cast into the mountain of fire. Now her forces are growing, and a dark cloud once again hangs over the land of Denver.
MrAgro: As a woman, I really take offense to the use of that word, regardless of what you think of Hilary Clinton. It is not acceptable.
I also must add that I have observed that the men who go around calling women cutns adore cutns, are obsessed with cutns, and dont get enough cutns, because they are knuckle-dragging losers.
Finally, I really wish that liberal folk can agree that you do not build Barack up by tearing Hilary down, or vice versa. I will vote for whomever was the Democratic Party’s nominee. They both are strong, capable leaders, and both have drawbacks.
Friends. Chill. We just didn’t know we would have to go back here again.
weirdiowasculpture: Don’t go picking on Chelsea. She can’t help who her parents are. And I am sure she gets more action than you do.
Supernatural_Delegate: now, my brother’s retarded and he never EVER says crap like that.
pinko-commie: why do you have to be such a snark less pinko-commie?
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: Nah, let ‘em go. I’m getting nostalgic for the old days (of three months ago).
pinko-commie: How is calling Hillary a cunt any worse than calling McCain (or Richard Cohen) a dick? As a man, am I supposed to find it offensive when people use ‘dick’ as an insult?
weirdiowasculpture: Okay, now that actually was offensive and stupid, unlike the aforementioned use of the c-word. You are a complete dickwad (see what I did there, pinko-commie?)
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: You are absofuckinglutely correct. I’m not at all surprised, only looking forward with more bitterness to the charges of inadequacy. And more half-assedly detailed automobiles.
The Queen is fucking dead. Final.
jagorev: I think the difference is that men don’t think the term “dick” is offensive. However, if you pose the question to those offended by certain terms, expect the conversation to move in ridiculous directions. Serse….as soon as the term “offended” turns up on this site, I tune out.
This website is very offensive when people strike personal chords, which is frequent and EXCELLENT in every way. Fine. There.
jagorev: On the other hand, I’d hold Chelsea’s hand at the mall. Maybe even buy her an Orange Julius.
“having her name placed into nomination at the convention”
What was that name again? Rodham Foster? Sir Edwina Hillary? Cindy Clinty? Swamp something? Swampy?
{not so good with names}
MoodProcessor: …and then of course bend her over a chair (reason left blank).
MoodProcessor: And after the Orange Julius, THEN it would be time for the sexing. See, it’s just offensive when people go straight to the doggystyle-over-the-back-of-a-chair.
jagorev: No, the insult to a man is “dick-less”. If you want to use the concept to insult a woman, parallelism does not work.
villageatrois: “John McCain is a stupid dick.”
See how that works?
jagorev: shortsshortsshorts: I have decided never again to be offended by anything. I’d let Chelsea bend me over a chair. She’s got such great hair.
Though I’d be slightly disappointed if I didn’t get the Orange Julius. But, not offended.
MoodProcessor: In fact, my wife thinks Chelsea is a hottie. I’d film Chelsea bending my wife over a chair. But, not Bill. Gotta feeling Bill has the political equivalent of Jail-Dick.
The only was the her voters could be properly represented in the convention is to let the delegate counts show the delegate count.
Who would have freakier sex: Keith Olberman & Nancy Pelosi or Hilary Clinton & Nancy Pelosi?
Street Organizer: I nominate Bill O and Larry Craig, tho that’s prolly old news within the Repube circle jerk.
Quelle conasse.
Why is she even in the news anymore?
Tell ya what, Hil. Have a millbaby with John Edwards while Bill and Robert Byrd play a Devil went down to Georgia during coitus, upload the video to Youtube…..then I’ll give a shit.
Street Organizer: Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, obvs. Reid may seem like a demure, boring guy, but he’s a complete freak in bed.
Hillz is just playing to her audience…
think: Tammy Wynette singing..Stand By Your Man..as a kind of back-story…
shes ‘everywoman’ refusing to shut up, even though her ‘economic dependency’ and innate masochism have forced to stay with that no-good womanizer Bill…..she even wears the clothing required for the role…pant suits straight from the clothing aisle at WalMart…
shes that ‘poor thing’ who will never say die and simply HAS to triumph ya see, otherwise it wouldnt be ‘just like in the movies’…
i hate to say it, but there are millions of women in this country who eat this shit up like its a country sausage platter at Shoneys…
just think of all the bitter women who, for whatever reason, have stayed with a piece of shit man…and do their best to pretend it was a good decision throughout the rest of their shitty lives..[which deep down they know is BS]…
if anyone is THE ONE…its Hillz…she was born to redeem them all from their failure to succeed…shes to one who proves that ’standing by your man’ is the correct choice….the only choice for a ‘real’ woman…
without her in the race….fuck we’ll all just got vote for McCain, at least hes a man we can ’stand by’…
Hillz plays this crap better than anyone ive ever seen….shoot, the ‘poor thing’ is even having to offer herself for ‘dates’ in order to pay down her debts……and ya know, we really should help her because we all know her only option after this to start working at the local titty bar…uh huh…
has anyone said Americans are stupid lately?….
I occasionally need to be reminded that I live in a country that gives trophies to losers. Worse still is that now the said losers fuckin’ DEMAND them. WTF!? She wants to be rewarded for her accomplishments during the primaries. What accomplishments? Putting herself in massive debt? It speaks volumes about her stance on these CEOs that run companies into the ground but get multi-million dollar “parting gifts”.
She and Bill are attention junkies. They’re masters at getting the µbrains riled and behind them. They won’t stop until everybody ignores them…or sprays them with bullets.
kellygrrrl: From your mouth to God’s ears, and unlikely to be heeded.
Can we make the comments more offensive…please? It distresses me to think of a future Wonk without cunts, dicks, ass fucking, and dildo/tire gauges.
(single tear rolls)
jagorev: You can call a woman a cutn after we have had 43 U.S. Presidents in a row who are women. Until then, dick and cutn are not the same.
pinko-commie: Please use “dikc”. Although that might be too close to “dyke”. How about “dkci”?
jagorev: Try this one: “John McCain is a smart fucker.” It doesn’t work. English is idiomatic. And if you want to insult Dick Cheney, it’s all in the upper or lower case “d”. On the surface, little “d” would seem more insulting.
If it weren’t for ironic usages, one could generalize that minimization is insulting to a man; exaggeration is insulting to a woman. Consider this one “Hillary Clinton may take Anabellum’s job offer in the titty bar if her old man doesn’t stop short-dicking her.”
anabellum:
just think of all the bitter women who, for whatever reason, have stayed with a piece of shit man…and do their best to pretend it was a good decision throughout the rest of their shitty lives..[which deep down they know is BS]…
You’re absolutely correct. I live in Backassward Woods and the women are exactly as you describe. My jaw went straight to the floor the other day when I spotted NASCAR romance novels. Are they fuckin’ serious!? I find it highly unlikely that any women watch NASCAR for their own enjoyment.
BTW, my tummy twiched at the mention of Shoneys.
The Hilltard Army gathers in the mountain passes near Denver. Darth Hillary and her bootlicking toadies assemble in her war-room, looking over the blueprints of INVESCO Field at Mile High, searching for weaknesses, gaps in security, hidden tunnels to allow her ravening hordes to storm the convention.
“They thought I had gone away,” she cackles. “They thought that their pathetic devotion to the ancient religion of democracy would save them. How little they understand the power of the Dark Side! I will crush Hopey like a bug! I WILL be the new Emperor!
Bubba starts to say something, but Darth Hillary reaches out and crushes his larynx telekinetically. The rest of her staff breathes a sigh of relief. TO BE CONTINUED…
meh
pinko-commie: Cunts are strong, flexible, life-giving things that bring joy to 90 percent of the female population.
Hillary Clinton is not a cunt. Politically she is weak, and easily affected by the enviornment around her. (DLC bullshit, Viedo games are evil bullshit)
Hillary is, in fact, a scrotum.
pinko-commie: Eve Ensler would say, of course, that we should RECLAIM the word cunt. Now that would, of course, preclude it from being used as a negative slur, but even so, fearing use of the word itself only gives it more power. So maybe we could start using it positively? That Paris Hilton is such a cunt. Her commercial making fun of McCain was hilarious. Too bad Hillz can’t be more of a kick-ass cunt like that.
Does this woman have any self respect???
Seriously, it is sickening how narcissistic she really is..
After the way the Republicans destroyed hard Cocks Bill, you’d think she’d learn to play with the home team.
Obama better make sure she doesn’t put a hit on him!!
pinko-commie: I see what you are saying, but I think the real issue here is whether it is a fair call to say that Hillary Clinton a cunt.
I don’t think so. But what I’m saying is that it is not the word but the context. No?
HomoPolitico: Now THAT’S an interesting comparison. Let’s look at footage of her back in December…was she shriveled an 3 inches shorter? If so, then she is DEFINITELY a giant scrotum.
anabellum: Shoneys! Wooooo!
Yeah, stand by McCain and you can be offered up as Miss Buffalo Chip.
Here’s some of what Cindy had to look forward to at Sturgis:
(Very NOT SAFE for work)
http://www.amxvideo.com/titles/a245.htm
CivicHoliday:
Kick-Ass Cunt? Wasn’t she in a Billy Jack movie?
Delicious: Oh my sweet Gawd someone needs to make that even more public… like mainstream public kindove thing. That is incredibly funny. So many cunts! Cindy would fit right in with those trollops.
Delicious: A thousand thank you’s for posting the Sturgis video web site. Because I am the kind of guy who licks a 9 volt battery from time to time just to see if it still jolts your tongue (it does), I went ahead and had a gander. It was as bad as I hoped. Those chicks, some of whom are clearly dudes, are shnasty. I’d stuff bills in their waist bands to entice them to put clothes back on.
Happy Fun Ball: Umm, A.K.A. incredibly HOT dudes. What the hell is wrong with a biker who confuses a girl and a boy? Shit next you’ll tell me the Repugs are doing the same thing, which is totally unacceptable.
This country was founded on the PRINCIPLES of “oops I didn’t know you were a dude.” By golly there should be a change in our national anthem to “For the Laaaand of the free, and the grace of tran-nies” (ok yes I know but stick it out).
I propose a new system of assfucking to recharge our Republican base. One without the implications of the general public (funny enough a lot of libtards like myself are guilty of this) ridiculing the Republican dude who is gay, until he/she/it decides to seek counseling for it. At that point we can pretty much write them off as a “Sturgis,” tar and feather them, and put them on a train for Key West.
Who the hell let Pinko-Clinton-Plant-Comie in?
CollegeStudent: You are just on a troll roll here, little one.
shortsshortsshorts: I like the proposed new addition to the lexicon: a “Sturgis.” The Republican party is an army of Sturgises soaked in Santorum.
Happy Fun Ball: You’re welcome. Anything to spread the glory of America on the Wings of Freedom.
Now let’s get going on Titty Alley!
shortsshortsshorts: I sent that to Wonkette Tips, but the Three Stooges were preoccupied by Paris (as I was)…honestly, McCain is truly getting a free ride. Not here, but in general. The MSM sucks big ol’ donkey dicks.
Oh, duh — is it a coincidence that this came about right after Obama said he thought all the votes from MI and FL should be counted? Hopey as a child apparently wasn’t allowed to watch those sorta movies where the hero kills the monster then turns his back on it to kiss the nurse, and we see them almost about to smooch when a tentacle steals into the frame. Otherwise he wouldn’t have said anything until the convention.
wheelie: I completely agree with you. I just can’t stand the misogyny.
And I am not a Clinton-plant. I back Obama 100%. Hillary deserves to be criticized. She’s hurt Obama’s standing in the polls. For her inability to support unity at this critical time, I cannot forgive her.
HomoPolitico: Ah yes, and what makes it worse is that she forms a most inadequate protective barrier to the DNC’s Truck Nutz.
I’m standing by my word choice. If there is one woman on the face of the earth that deserves that expletive, it’s Hillary Clinton at this point in time.
pinko-commie: Just be more funny. Seriously. Like tell a fart joke or something. If incapable of a fart joke, tell a daddy story. I mean it’s upsurd to believe that this is the right umm, “forum” to be taking those arguments. It’s like you’re trying to destroy the very thing that distinguishes this band of obvious Paultards from the rest of the Paultards. WE REALLY DO BELIEVE IN THE rEVOLution, or not.
I didn’t sleep well last night.
Lighten up, make fun of little-dicked morons, or small handed carnies, but evade the serious “I am Offended” platform. That shit kicked Kerry’s ass (who is also the most boring person who has ever lives, ever. Fuckin’ guy makes Ben Stiller look like Bozo). Like really. Lighten up.
pinko-commie: i’m gay, i get all the cunt i need.
take it from me, Hillary’s a cunt
pinko-commie:
Please, Obama is the man now, it’s really his job to bring the party together, not hers. If Obama doesn’t win, he is the one to blame. I fully expect him to win but if he doesn’t, it’s on him, not Hilz.
It’s obvious she’s just positioning herself for Ambassador to Antarctica.
pinko-commie: Whether she was never President or not, that is beside the point. It is as if she should be given the Presidency because she is a woman.
The woman is in debt, just an idea of her money management skills.
She lost fair and square and should go in a corner and cry.
Politics is harsh. Hillary knew this, but because she lost she is whining like a 10 year old.. Enough already!! She lost because of the NASTY GAMES she played and lies she told!!
I am a woman and I have no issue with calling Hiltard a cunt!! Stop mixing misogyny with true CUNTRY!!
She makes me embarassed to have ovaries. Who knew such “a once upon a time smart woman” could turn out so dumb??
Have you ever seen those videos where guys put needles through their testicles?
Seriously. There are lots and lots of these on the intarwebs.
ANYHOO, I always thought “Why would anyone do that?”
Then, I read this post.
Slutty_Chola_Cobbler: Cuntry Above Self.
pinko-commie:
wow…is pussy better? i can use it in a sentence…
btw…are you from the nyt or wapo…i think i recognize the stridency.
oh, the sentence…pussys are like snowflakes…there’s no two alike.
on the other hand, cindy mccain is a cunt. so is hillz.
Vewol Mevemont: Too bad no one can drag out a mistress baby to stop her.
So cutn:woman::nrggie:African-American? Cn we get a definitive ruling on this?
Anyway, I think calling Hilary a cutn is just lazy and inaccurate, especially when she is so obviously a douchebag.
pinko-commie: jagorev: You can call a woman a cutn after [certain conditions laid out by pinko-commie ....]
Thank you, mistress, for explaining the rules for me to speak! I was feeling so insecure before you came having to make all of those decisions…
Excuse me, … there’s a wodr for thta but I catn recall whta it was…..
As long as she agrees to a pickle licking demonstration, I’m all in. We don’t want to cede that portion of the electorate entirely to the other side do we?
Servo: I second that. Also, am I the only one who read this post and thought “Wowza, is this irksome.”