Wonkette
WHY WE LOVE THE MONTAUK MONSTER: “A hideous hell beast washing up on their precious, opal-sanded shores? Hah! Serves you right, you twill-wearing, Saab-driving, piece of shit Andover alumni! I hope its family comes and eats your town and the last person left is a crazed Ina Garten wielding a shotgun she made from scratch, cackling into the humming, purple August evening sky.” [Gawker]
It’s obviously a deformed, wingless hippogriff.
…the aftermath of the horse swim race I suspect!
I want to cradle its head and quietly sing Christina Aguilera’s Beautiful.
Hmm…hairless, deformed, frightening, and came from who-knows-where. Hey, has anyone seen Dick Cheney lately?
Oh…aren’t they precious when they’re asleep!
CNN, leave Bob Novak alone!
Its not a monster, its a living creature
*Monster pounces BadNewsJack’s head*
AHHHHH MY FACE, GET IT OFF ME!!!
perfect for the DNCs next ad….
“… slaughtered only for their Truck Nutz, the rest of their carcasses are left to rot in the sun…”
Holy shit this thing has like 24,000 views on Gawker so far. What kind of man-beast deserves 24,000 views?
trophy(forparticipation)wife: That is sick and wonderful.
shortsshortsshorts: So this is like the physical manifestation of Nick Denton’s pact with Satan?
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!!1!
shortsshortsshorts:
It soon will be an international celebrity!
SayItWithWookies:
“KILL IT! KILL IT!”
“But its just Dick Cheney”
“oohh, its just Dick Cheney…..KILL IT KILL IT!!”
Poseidon underwent a foreclosure on his undersea castle. He abandoned his overfed pet. People will be calling in with offers of adoption.
Poor turtle.
Has nobody ever seen a partially decomposed dead seal before? Guess not.
Holy Shit!!! Is that Lizzie Grubman?
sanantonerose: BRAVO!
Does Lou Dobbs know? I presume this cousin of el chupacabras is an illegal immigrant out to steal ‘murican jobs.
Fluffy? Damn it Mom. My parents told me they took her to a farm where she could run free and eat as many people as she wanted!
dano: “Animal Planet” wildlife expert Jeff Corwin says it’s a raccoon.
Ken, your photo roll overs are a regular font of musical goodness.
The Montauk Monster is Mark Penn. Has anyone seen him lately?
Ok, so the biologist in me wonders how in the world they were able to successfully cross breed a dog, a turtle, and Fred Thompson…
CivicHoliday: well, first they walk into a bar together…
Totally a decaying hedgehog. As usual.
I always get Zuul the Gatekeeper and Vinz Clortho mixed up…that or something escaped from Picatinny Arsenal/umbrella Corporation secret joint venture project.
Aww how cute, its a little Karl Rove.
So, I know what you’re thinking. You’re looking at this rather obvious picture of a dead demon and thinking that the Telebangelicals may have been right about this whole “end times” thing. So now you’re trying to pick out a good church so that god MIGHT forgive you for all of the assfucking humor… right? Well chose wisely, and whatever you do, don’t pick one of those foreign religions! Nothing will send you to hell quicker than not being American and a conservative. I woudn’t risk anything except one of those protestant mega churches if I were you, but if you don’t have one near, hey, roll the dice. Good luck.
masterdebater: the problem is, all the churches require a belief in God, so I think I am just going to have to roll the dice, enjoy my sinnin’ in this life, and believe that hell will be OK because I hate the cold.
I’d hit it.
Where are the people who snapped this pic? Where is the carcass? Where are MULDER AND FUCKING SCULLY WHEN YOU NEED THEM!??! I know they’re fictional, but so are Jesus and Democracy, so grab some trenchcoats and maglites and ditch that pedophile preacher for some real extraterrestrial sheeeeaat!
hey, I’m an Andover alumni. We’re not all bad.
It’s alumnus— or alum for short— you dinglefuck. Alumni is plural and masculine. Alumna (f. singular) and alumnae (f. plural) are how we refer to female graduates, or those fruity fairies from “Anal S”Exeter. Any true Bendover man would know this. What are they teaching you poofts nowadays??
It’s called The Photoshop Monster.