Wonkette
Oh hell, the New York Times op-ed page is now warning of UFOs. Tuesday’s paper had an op-ed by this Nick Pope guy, who was actually the British Government’s factotum who had to take down the Anomalous Aerial Phenomena reports from the English and Scottish people, after they staggered home from the pub.
What is Nick Pope’s game, exactly? We have heard him, with his sexy English accent, speaking to the late-night paranormal AM radio hosts in America. He is probably on the Larry King show all the time, and he might be a black woman on The View. We don’t really know. It is a mystery, as deep as the mystery of some dude in the Bible who watched the Flying Saucers kill the Babylonians or something. THEY ARE COMING, etc.
So, Cheney is probably going to do an ALIEN INVASION before the November election. But the aliens are already attacking the famous dirt ranch of George W. Bush!
Unidentified Flying Threats [New York Times]
OOO he haz credentials!!!
“Nick Pope, the author of “Open Skies, Closed Minds,” was in charge of U.F.O. investigations for the British Ministry of Defense from 1991 to 1994.”
What the fuck will these terrorists do next time? And where is Batman when you need ‘em for any other bullshit fictional reason?
Not many people know that Barry is actually a human-alien hybrid, created with the intention of enslaving the human race. Not just the white human race, as per fringe right-wing nuts, but the entire human race.
All hail the Psiren Mocha Overlord from Omicron Persei 8.
This DEFINITELY is one for McCain to start exploiting! Some talking points:
Who do you want to answer the phone at 3am when the Aliens are hovering over our cities?
Obama would rather “loose the planet” to “win a campaign”
As long as the Aliens obey our laws and avoid vaporizing us, of course I support an expedited path to citizenship.
These are truly UFO’s you can BELIEVE IN!
AxmxZ: OH GOD, are we going to have to keep watching reruns of Ally McBeal? I’m moving to Mars.
Johnny Zhivago: I don’t want to believe! Does that make me a bitter?
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: It makes you intelligent and intelligible, but still hopeful that HILLARY CAN STILL TAKE THIS ONE AND BARRY AND WALNUTS HAVE TO KILL EVERYONE AND WE MUS’ BEWEIVE IN OUR PEDOLUTION!
They forgot the line at the bottom that should have said, “This ad paid for by The X-Files Movie.”
Also that Pope fellow has caught teh loopy. He wants to spend millions of dollars on investigating mylar balloons and swamp gas, and we can’t even pay money to back up Karl Rove’s emails, much less fund a special prosecutor.
SayItWithWookies: Ah, but didn’t the good Doctor Congressman collect a hefty sum in the last quarter? Couldn’t we reallocate that budget?
…and gaydar didn’t work in that Minneapolis airport bathroom stall, either.
Sometimes, a cigar-shaoed UFO is just a cigar-shaped UFO.
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: They might have spent it all. Blimps aren’t cheap. Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that those lots for Paulville in TX aren’t really $500 an acre. Just sayin’ that the Paulites might’ve been engaged in a little land speculatin’ which, due to unforseeable economic circumstances, turned into a boat somebody owns in the Cayman Islands.
Once you identify an object, it is no longer a UFO, so when you say, “Look! It’s a flying saucer!”, you have identified it. Then the saucer hits the wall and breaks into a million pieces and she’s still screaming, “Get out!” but at least you know what she was throwing at you on the way out the door.
thats it…im renewing my subscription to Paranoid Magazine…
possible terrorist attacks by flying prayer rugs, minaret shaped UFOS, and terrifying stealth domes are now definitely on MY radar…
my cat agrees…
shortsshortsshorts: Comic Book Guy voice: I think you’ll find this is a job for Green Lantern and perhaps martian Manhunter.
I say this as a working Astrophysicist: Oh, fer fuck’s sakes, who gives a shit what drunken idiots see in the sky?
bearbait: and don’t come back!
Well, Dick Cheney *is* an alien so he should know. Also, who believes a third-rate rag like the New York Times anyway? It’s one step away from the National Inquirer, if that.
Can we assume that because Obama is black he’s not one of the lizard people? I’m mean, I’m sure he could still shapeshift if he wanted, but the whole drinking blood thing just seems so white. Why do I not get any emails about him from the David Icke set?
Look, we know the aliens are coming, so why not do the only thing that keeps aliens out: build a wall.
bearbait: Your words comfort and guide me as I run, remembering to duck.
AxmxZ:
I’ll wait till the aliens invade and force the smart people breed like crazy to smarten up the human race (sorry Paultards.) That’s an alien invasion I can believe in.
Oh yes…
>>PEDOLUTION!
I, for one, welcome our new pedophile overlords.
regisgoat: :Lenny voice: But what about Superman?
I believe you’ll find that Barack Obama is a Black Lectroid. Fortunately, they’re good guys.
All hail President John Shark God!
Lazy Media: Dick Cheney does have a Dr. Emilio Lizardo vibe. Actually, the movie was kind of a template for current events. The Red Lectroids work for US defense contractors gone cowboy, and are quite happy to demolish this planet as they’re going on to the next world, and don’t care so much one they’re leaving behind. Rapturous.
I call bullshit. Nothing makes a populace embrace its own fascist leaders more than the threat posed by “the other.”
The last attack staged by the fascists was blamed on the Islamo-terr’ists. But the hysteria has subsequently died down to the point that when they announce “Threat Level Is Mauve,” the bitters only yawn.
Time for a “new” threat.
Cue the swirling lights and crop circles.
NYT: “Election will be cancelled due to alien invasion. Martial law declared in 3…2… ”
WAKE UP PEOPLE! [Jeez, I love typing that. Whenever I do, I get all Kevin McCarthy-ity. I'm turning into a Podtard.]
Johnny Zhivago: Johnny you are too funny — AND insightful. I was wondering if you think we should put up one of those invisible fences around the planet (like the invisible dog fences) to keep the aliens out like the plan for Mexico.
Uh, guys? I think you mean “Anomalous Aerial Phenomena.”
Unless, of course, you are constructing a delightfully elaborate and charmingly witty pun combining “aerial” and “Ariel” the “airy spirit” from Shakespeare’s The Tempest, in which case, a wave of the crumpet and “Good Show, Gentlemen!”
Who’s the alien in the photo for this post? The one with the blue shirt-like thing and all the flashing space-ship lights behind him(?). Did Wonkette buy the rights to all the Weekly World News pix, and colorize them?
When we finally prove that Batboys and Devilboys and aliens and crop circles and snowmen and bigfeet and alacadabras and Loch Ness monsters and Stonehenge mystics and psychics and astrologers and Nostradomis (sp?) and mind-readers and spoon-benders, or whatever, and other urban legends are true, we’ll then realize that, all along, The Weekly World News was reporting the truth! And somehow that magazine folded! Now, more than, ever, we need The Weekly World News for its straightforward, unbiased, unmatched, hard-hitting, accurate, prize-winning journalism.
The important thing to remember while reading this is that it was accepted for the NYT op-ed page, while McCain’s piece was not.
BobLoblawLawBlog: Theorist……
And, incidentally:
Nick Pope, who used to run the British Government’s UFO Project and is now recognised as one of the world’s leading experts on the unexplained.
Who doesn’t want that on their resume?
And this:
http://www.snopes.com/disney/films/mermaid.asp
is the only “unknown ariel phenomenon” I could find with Google.
bearbait: Ha ha!
I may be in the minority here but why the hostility? The Op-Ed piece seems pretty level-headed and I would think this group would be more skeptical of anything our government says after what we’ve had for the last seven years.
Doesn’t anyone find it significant that veteran pilots and airport personnel saw something hover over O’Hare airport last year that none could explain?
I appreciate snark as much as the next guy, but what if Nick Pope has a point? Just sayin’.