WASHINGTON, DC, 10:00 AM, SAT NOVEMBER 22 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS
BOYCOTT MCDONALD'S

MAH JESUS BOOK DON’T NONE LIKE THIS: Oh heavens, first they came for our family, and then our hamburgers, and then our family again, and now our motorcars too: “Police in Manila are looking to convert their patrol cars to run on a mixture of diesel and used cooking oil from McDonald’s, officials and the company said Tuesday.” MCDONALD NOW YOU GITCHER HOMO OIL OUTTA MAH F-250 ELSE’N ISE FIXIN TA BOYCOTT MAH RIDE ‘N’ RUIN YER ECONOMETRICKS. [AFP/Breitbart]


11:32 AM on Tue July 29 2008
By Jim Newell
704 Views

  1. WhatTheHeck says at 11:41 am, July 29th, 2008

    Jim, spoken like a true trailer trashee.
    Where you from agin?

  2. Canmon (the Inadequate) says at 11:43 am, July 29th, 2008

    If the United States harvested all the leftover McDonalds grease it throws out into fuel, we could become self-sufficient. Or, at least it could fuel all those cars idling at the take-out wnindow.

  3. PeteJayhawk v2.0 says at 11:44 am, July 29th, 2008

    gitcher commie hands off mah truck nutz

  4. SayItWithWookies says at 11:44 am, July 29th, 2008

    “Okay, Manuel covers the security guard, Rollo gets the customers on the floor and I’ll grab the money from the tellers. And if anyone smells french fries, the robbery’s off.”

  5. user-of-owls says at 11:48 am, July 29th, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?

  6. AfghanVet says at 11:48 am, July 29th, 2008

    Well, between that and then converting the liposuction fat from all of the patrons we could export!

  7. user-of-owls says at 11:50 am, July 29th, 2008

    Git-er-well-done!

  8. columnv says at 11:50 am, July 29th, 2008

    I still don’t know why he has a bomb.

  9. WadISay says at 11:50 am, July 29th, 2008

    Sounds like a great opportunity for Manilla’s cop cars to become both morbidly obese and develop a delightful sense nuanced color.

  10. tsunami says at 11:56 am, July 29th, 2008

    columnv:

    for iran.

  11. loudmouthredhead says at 11:56 am, July 29th, 2008

    AfghanVet: It’s a renewable resource! Teh Cir-kul of Laaaahf!
    What if we just hook every piece of HoHo-eatin’, lard-accumulatin’, otherwise-useless trailer trash up to lipo-biodiesel(tm) plants for the benefit of society? That way Hostess still survives, McDonalds can cater to its new, more-fabulous crowd, and we can power our economy, all while making the whole place SMELL LIKE DELICIOUS FRENCH FRIES! My gawd…can you imagine it! No…words…*sniff!*

    Jim, that was strikingly accurate…Are you a redneck mole or sumpin’?

  12. Darehead says at 11:58 am, July 29th, 2008

    The Filipinos always respected General MacDonalds,especially after he said, “I shall return.” He organized the American offensive against Japan, and freed the Philippines.

    Now he has returned again, and the General’s first words were: “People of the Philippines: I have returned. By the grace of Almighty God, our golden arches will fuel your Toyotas, and you will be safe again on Philippine soil. “

  13. loudmouthredhead says at 12:01 pm, July 29th, 2008

    Darehead: Unfortunately, Ronald didn’t know he, too, was caught by a “hot mike” as he whispered to Grimace:

    “…and once they’re all fat and helpless, we roll in and take the place! Bwa hahahah! *snort* Where’s my blow?”

  14. Botswana Meat Commission FC says at 12:03 pm, July 29th, 2008

    Darehead:
    It always amazes me when people like Dubya and Walnuts want to invade countries militarily. Shit, McDonalds and Coca-Cola did a better job colonizing the Phillipines than the Marines did. We should just start sending the Iranians container ships full of Under Armour, ridiculously huge Callaway drivers and truck nutz.

  15. Thegreatbacon says at 12:05 pm, July 29th, 2008

    Christians, I’m going to start all of my sentences with “Christians” from now on — it a great attention grabber.

  16. ManchuCandidate says at 12:06 pm, July 29th, 2008

    Botswana Meat Commission FC:
    Yeah, the geniuz war “heroes” can’t figure why lavishly firing High Explosives, lead and Napalm on the people don’t win hearts and minds.

  17. loudmouthredhead says at 12:09 pm, July 29th, 2008

    ManchuCandidate: Funny how sugar water, the Hoff in Baywatch videos, and greasy grade-D meat can though, right?

  18. Darehead says at 12:12 pm, July 29th, 2008

    ManchuCandidate: What? Don’t you love the smell of NapalMcMuffins in the morning?

  19. BadNewsJack says at 12:29 pm, July 29th, 2008

    and to think we liberated this country from Jewy Muslim Spain so that the people would live like Americans and enjoy the freedoms we enjoy, like putting fat into their cars. God bless us, everyone.

  20. nietzscheprojectile says at 12:31 pm, July 29th, 2008

    columnv: Because he is a gay, gay terrorist pedophile.

  21. AfghanVet says at 12:34 pm, July 29th, 2008

    Darehead: “You smell that…do you smell that? That’s french fries son. Smells like…like victory.”

  22. Monsieur Grumpe says at 12:34 pm, July 29th, 2008

    loudmouthredhead:
    You are a genius. Might I suggest somehow attaching God, country or guns to your wonderful plan. You could then tap into the biggest fat reserve in the country, Texas, by calling it Lippo for Jesus, Fat for the Boys in Iraq or Beer Guts-N-Glory for God.

  23. FreshCliches says at 12:36 pm, July 29th, 2008

    What the story doesn’t report is the failed initial attempt to convert the engines using a mixture of Freedom Fries Oil and the ejaculate of TRUCK NUTZ.

  24. ManchuCandidate says at 12:39 pm, July 29th, 2008

    loudmouthredhead:
    Never figured that out either, better to kill’em slowly from inside than kill’em quickly from the outside.

  25. Anonymous Office Zombie says at 12:41 pm, July 29th, 2008

    The Gay Agenda is proposing real solutions for our fuel crisis? Umm …can I vote for the Gay Agenda this Fall?

  26. loudmouthredhead says at 12:59 pm, July 29th, 2008

    ManchuCandidate: So, you’re saying American culture is just like the xenomorphs from the Alien movies? Would that make the Hoff the facehugger, or the chest-burster?

    Monsieur Grumpe: Hmm…Oh I know! While they’re hooked up, we could keep them there by giving them a game like Duck Hunt where they can mow down libruls an’ homo-sexee-als (Queer Hunt?), and have the dog replaced by Jeebus. I figure, as long as we have Hostess, Lays, Budweiser, and Pabst fuel the madness, we could run the economy for DECADES. It would be like the Redneck Matrix…

  27. Schadenfried says at 1:02 pm, July 29th, 2008

    Judging from this picture, I think Ronald Mc Donald’s a Republican. Maybe the “devout” Christians will like him more.

    http://img.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/0405/dfab642cf0590437e77b.jpeg

  28. loudmouthredhead:
    ManchuCandidate:
    The Hoff is synonymous with burgers…especially when eaten on the living room floor while intoxicated.

  29. columnv says at 1:52 pm, July 29th, 2008

    nietzscheprojectile: AHHHH!!! Stupid me.

  30. masterdebater says at 1:57 pm, July 29th, 2008

    John: I’ve heard that combination makes your tail pipe smell like french fries.
    Cindy: Forget it John!

Leave a Reply