Wonkette
Meet Charles “Chuck” Stepanek, 48, a former Republican candidate for Nebraska Legislative District 27, who has pleaded guilty to driving under the influence of marijuana cigarettes. While the dreadful teenage drug did not make “Chuck” sell his children for a sweet, sweet fix, it did cause him to do this: “According to court records, police say Stepanek drove under the influence of marijuana in Lincoln on May 29, 2007. Police said he was seen naked at a convenience store near South 27th Street buying a pop, then later at the Sid Dillon car lot, before getting into his car again and driving it into a light pole.” [Lincoln Journal Star]
NATION OF ADDICTS
Former State Legislature Candidate Smokes ‘Mary Jane,’ Runs Around Naked Like An Idiot
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11:04 AM
on Tue July 29 2008
By
Jim Newell
1391 Views
If he was naked then where did he keep his cash?
Man that’s some good weed.
Well, when you say it like that, it makes shopping nekkid for a soda to cut the cottonmouth sound like it’s weird or something. heh, heh, heh…..
I think we now know who’s been supplying the Gallup team with their spliffage.
Hey, Chuck! Y’all got nuthin’ for Wonketteers? Damn. I really want some chronic that’ll make me get naked, car-crashed and busted.
Let the good times… um… roll.
Probably as an infant he drank milk. As in most junky profiles, starting with milk always leads to these harder narcotics.
Two 8 year old boys in the car were not injured. He is a GOPer
Matthew McConaughey approves!
no shirt, no shoes, no pants, no problem at the 27th St “pop” store.
I love how the Midwesterner’s refer to soda as ‘pop’. They’re all quaint and dumb.
Anyway, how much was he charging for mustache rides?
It must be so confusing to be a hippy and republican. Kind of like gay and republican with a more mellow self-loathing.
buying “pop” LOL
This is what happens when you can’t get decent pizza delivery in your area.
Chuck Stepanek. Not the kind of politician you want to have a beer with.
I am not sure I appreciate the insinuation that anyone who runs around naked is an idiot.
Please, Wonkette… don’t make me actually like a Republican legislator, OK? I forgive you this time.
Pot + pop + naked + Linoln + In a Lincoln? (probably) = Good times.
How much smaller could his eyes get? I’m sure that’s why he crashed. Good thing he has a safety helmut implant.
Kids, if a mid-western, pop-drinking naked conservative offers you a “toke”, just say “no!”
Being a chubby white guy is Republican
Being named Chuck Stepanak is Republican
Living in Nebraska is Republican
But chillin’ with some Bhang is NOT Republican. Stick to what you know and these things won’t happen.
He doesn’t look like the sort anyone would want to see naked. Maybe his gut hides his naughty bits?
He looks like Martin Mull
Did anyone look at the cross-referenced article? It was all done in the name of research, err, umm, “lived knowledge.” That explains everything!!
Stepanek has more than 20 years of experience working with the Nebraska Legislature representing organizations including the American Lung Association of Nebraska, Mothers Against Drunk Driving Nebraska, the Nebraska Nurses Association and the National Alliance on Mental Illness Nebraska, according to a news release from the candidate.
“With the advent of term limits, the need for institutional knowledge in the Legislature will be paramount,” Stepanek said. “I have 20 years of experience. My opponents have none. Granted, institutional knowledge can be learned, but that is not a replacement for it being lived.”
I always knew that Quaker Oats/Liberty Life Insurance guy was a stoner but I never knew he was a Republican. They should cut him a break- he probably didn’t get his diabetes testing supplies in time and went into diabetic shock. That’s why he was all crazy naked and buying sugary ‘pop’.
Look closely, that’s a leather sports-coat he’s wearing…
In other words, a Wednesday?
FREE CHUCK STEPANEK!
one look at that dude and you just know he loves the reefer
dude looks baked in the picture.
and yeah what about the naked boys that were in his car?
KevoTron: He also attends cockfights with Novak or something like that…. http://www.angelfire.com/ny/lowbrow/fighting.html
Based on this I have no choice but to vote Republican in the fall. Its out of my hands now.
Stepanek says he wasn’t under the influence of anything that day; he was experiencing a mental psychosis because of several setbacks. He was lamenting a break in his 5½-year sobriety, the one-year anniversary of his father-in-law’s death and the loss of his position with the National Alliance on Mental Illness — Nebraska.
“I not only have a position with the National Alliance on Mental Illness - Nebraska…I’m also a client!”
“Marijuana cigarette”? OH, they mean a splif.
Pop > Soda.
Fuck you assholes and your sodarchy.
Incidentally, although there are Republicans who are candidates for the Nebraska legislature, there are no “Republican candidates” for the Nebraska legislature. Senators are elected to the unicameral (a Latin word meaning, “We hump a lot”) on a nonpartisan ballot.
/snark free zone
“Police said he was seen naked at a convenience store near South 27th Street buying a pop”
Buying a pop? Isn’t that what got Spitzer in so much trouble?
districtsleeps: I had the same thought, or that his weed was laced with something else.
If you go into a convenience store naked and ask for condoms, at least the salesperson can get you the right size.
magic titty: McCain refers to a pop/soda as a phosphate.
Stepanek: “Your honor. I don’t recall ever driving into a light pole.
I was having a brain toomor thingy at the time.”
Why isn’t this guy running for Congress?
WhatTheHeck: oh, is that the new euphemism for sex acts in a car?
gjdodger: “Stepanek says he wasn’t under the influence of anything that day; he was experiencing a mental psychosis because of several setbacks. He was lamenting a break in his 5½-year sobriety…”
So he wasn’t under the influence… he was just not sober for the first time in 5 1/2 years. Yeah, okay.
thefrontpage: Why isn’t this guy running for President?!!
Listen, I live in Oregon, so ’nuff said. There is no weed on the plantet–not Durban Poison, not Thai Stick, not secret-hydroponic-triple-indica-couchlock-skunkweed–NONE that will get you so fucked up that you stumble into a Quickie Mart naked as a jay bird.
I submit that the Nebraska Sasquatch pictured was wasted on bottom-shelf vodka and perhaps a wee nip o’ the LSD. The pot was just to take the edge off.
PeteJayhawk v2.0: MathewBrooks: In my part of the country, we more often than not refer to carbonated sugar beverages as “soda pop”.
I don’t know if this means we can’t make up our minds; like being redundant; or maybe we’re appeasers or something. I’m going back to my cave to brood on this question for the rest of the day…
he looks like the Tootsie Roll Owl…
He says his problem is he’s mourning the death of his father-in-law?
Who died a year ago?
I don’t know, there’s something not quite right about this story.
Lascauxcaveman: Some people in Massachusetts call it “tonic.” And they buy booze at a “packy” (package store) and take vacations at their “camp” (summer home). So brood not.
A “pop” must be what the kids are calling two Eight balls with a Oxy chaser, ’cause there aint no weed in the world that strong, let alone in Nebraska.
Well, I always thought of Nebraska as a dull boring state, however, chuck has put a whole lot of fun into Nebraska for me. Travel Nebraska, see Chuck!
Naked, had a drink and crushed into a pole. GOPer + pot ⇒ world = strip club.
I’d recognize the work of a Conair Pro Tech Vented Boar Round Brush-Large anywhere.
I’ve run around naked, gone to the store, and the car lot, bought a soda, and hit stationary objects with my car, after balsting up. But never at the same time, or hell, eben on the same day! Way to go Chuck! (Just a tip though, if you want to do that stuff, get out of Nebraska…where I live they would just take your car keys away and send you on your way.)
*blasting*, *even*…jeeze, once again, a perfectly good joke ruined by typos…let that be a lesson to you kids, and stay away from the Devil’s weed!