Wonkette
YOU DON’T SAY: “The inspector general’s investigation found that Ms. Goodling and a handful of other senior aides to Mr. Gonzales developed a system of using in-person interviews and Internet searches to screen out candidates who might be too liberal and to identify candidates seen as pro-Republican and supportive of President Bush.” [New York Times]
DEATH PENALTY
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A Senate sub committee also concluded, “She’s one scary-looking bitch too.”
“[Gonzales'] successor, Attorney General Michael Mukasey, said in a statement Monday after the report’s release that he was disturbed by their findings that improper political considerations were used in hiring decisions relating to some career employees.”
He went on to say, “If only there were some agency responsible for enforcing the law that we could report this to…”
I’d hit it.
Scarab: Well then who’s the hottie in the picture? She looks like she belongs in a video for Warrant, Great White or some other 80s butt rock band.
The chutzpah of these people. Wasn’t Goodling a graduate of one of those phony Jerry Falwell colleges that don’t believe in evolution? And she was in charge of casting judgment on the top people from real universities?
Hey even I look good from a hundred yards out.
Check out one of ‘Man-Hands’ Monica close ups. Yeesh.
In other news, the sky is blue and George W. Bush is Batman.
I’M CONFUSED?!?!?!!?????
MONICA GOODLING WENT TO A CRAZY QUACK SCHOOL FOR RELIGIOUS NUTJOBS AND NEVER DID ANYTHING USEFUL AND BROKE THE LAW AND LIED TO CONGRESS AND NEITHER SHE NOR ANYONE ELSE IN ON THE WHOLE SCHEME IS GOING TO PAY IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER?? WHY?
Wait, I actually am a little confused.
Interview Question #1: How much do you love Jesus?
A) More than our nation’s greatest president, George Walker Bush.
B) Not quite as much as our beveolent leader, but still slightly more than Ronald Reagan.
C) More than the gays love their unnatural, unholy, irresistably tempting perversions.
D) I’m spiritually blowing him in my mind at this very moment.
Remember when Republicans used to get all up in arms about laws being broken? Good times. I bet they get back to that “laws are important” stuff just as soon as Barry takes office. Rove thumbs his nose at Congress, Monica Goodling goes from answering the phones and getting coffee to unofficial hiring czar at Justice armed with little more than a third rate education, google and the King James Bible. They turned the DOJ into a wingnut welfare to work program and all Harry Reid can do is threaten to send a sternly worded letter.
Ms. Goodling interviewed the woman herself for possible positions
But not the missionary position. That position is best left to democrats as in man on woman sex.
edgydrifter: Trick Questions, as all Cons know the answers is E) Slightly more than I love baby Jeebus, but less than I hate homosexuals.
Question is, who did Ms. Monica “Christians-only College Acceptance Officer” Goodling tap to interview and hire her Jewish defense lawyers?
Another proud alumni of Regent University!
Uncle Al: Yes, an Ivy League degree OBVIOUSLY represents mental superiority. Just look at our president, he’s got two of ‘em.
Monica Goodling’s hot! A bunch of us Democrats want to date her! In a nice way, of course.
So does this mean “patriotic” America’s henchman is dusting off the noose/gun/electric chair/lethal injection for traitor/scumbag Fredo? No, it means Nancy Pelosi is saying “ahem”, and moving on to more pleasant topics. She makes me…bitter.
Hunh? She is hot! And that black suit looks great and there’s just something about the bossy way she seems to be shouting “SWIM”, that kinda works for me…
But the ignorant hillbilly with Farah Fawcett 70’s hair is heinous.
thefrontpage: In the abstract, yeah, but just imagine you’ve got a few drinks in you, and you’re starting to undress, and then there’d be this awkward moment, like, wow, she’s a political stooge.
Actually, that’s pretty fap worthy right there.
So, we’ve had the internal investigative report; where’s the indictment? Although it might be better to wait a bit; don’t want her pleading guilty just so W can pardon her on the way out.
And Gonzo never had any idea what she was up to. Pfft. Jeez, will this bimbo fall on the grenade, or will she rat out Fredo? My bet is, she takes the trip to federal summer camp, in hopes of becoming a highly compensated martyr on the speaking circuit. And later, Jeb’s AG!
She’ll cope a plea and then get pardoned. Also, she’s engaged — and maybe married by now — to some guy who wrote for Redstate.com:
http://www.abovethelaw.com/2008/02/breaking_monica_goodling_is_en_1.php
WernerHerzogsBear: who said anything about ivy league? I said the top people at real universities. Preznunt Chimpy was never tops at anything except hitting up his parents’ friends for money to “invest” in his oil “companies.” And he may have been somewhere near the top in drunk-driving over garbage cans. Oh, I guess he’s always been tops in arrogance and self-aggrandizement. Also incoherence…utter stupidity of course….Actually, there’s LOTS of things he excels at!
Uncle Al: I take your point, I just never like to miss an opportunity to rag on the Ivies.
lol, gozales knows how to use the googles. his search was probably something along the lines of “Is Talon Gershowitzsteinberg a librul?”
Is it possible for any one human being to be as stupid as former AG Gonzoles either is or pretends to be?
Other than the Prez, most of his appointees and the RNC that is.
http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2008/07/report-former-j.html
Goodling acknowledged using the Internet and commercial databases to find information about the partisan leanings of potential hires, according to the report, which says she used this search string while researching “AG appointments”:
[First name of a candidate]! and pre/2 [last name of a candidate] w/7 bush or gore or republican! or democrat! or charg! or accus! or criticiz! or blam! or defend! or iran contra or clinton or spotted owl or florida recount or sex! or controvers! or racis! or fraud! or investigat! or bankrupt! or layoff! or downsiz! or PNTR or NAFTA or outsourc! or indict! or enron or kerry or iraq or wmd! or arrest! or intox! or fired or sex! or racis! or intox! or slur! or arrest! or fired or controvers! or abortion! or gay! or homosexual! or gun! or firearm!]
Or Alsatiians, darkies, philatel!, gypsies, tango-dancers, Peruvians, garage mechanics, hemo!, third base players, tuba, onco!…
thefrontpage: I’ve already dated her. 1692. The Salem Witch Trials.
Taking the fifth before a congressional committee was probably the first indication that she might, perhaps, have done something wrong.
If this Monica had been doing what the last famous presidential Monica had been doing, instead of loading Homeland Security and other deparments with incompetents, the nation would be safer.
Why do the conservatives hate America and blowjobs?
Where do these girls go so wrong? That picture makes me think she is ready for some dirty dancing with Patrick Swayze, yet somehow she went the other way. The problem, people, is that we don’t have enough Patrick Swayzes to help lead our vulnerable teens toward goodness and satisfaction, and away from the temptations of self-righteous bigotry born of unhappy clean dancing with room for the lord inbetween and whatnot. More Patrick Swayzes, I say, and the nation should reverberate with the cry!
Monica’s made some enemies.