Wonkette
John McCain might have a crappy old web site that sells golfing gear, but the Republican National Committee is running a very sophisticated Interwebs operation on his behalf. It is so sophisticated that they finally stopped the clock counting how many days had passed since Obama had been to Iraq, and maybe they will even reset it next week, after the clock-winder gets back from his vacation in Orlando. But the very best part of this web site is a section called “Can We Ask?”, where visitors get to ask Barack Obama questions. They are predictably hilarious.
- (Don - Mt. Clemens, MI) You ran a campain of change when Michigan and Florida Changed there primarys wouldn’t the right thing to do be to say yes Michigan Yes Florida you changed i’m for change i’ll be there insteed of following the party leaders who deemed millions of people nobodys? what would your response have been if this happened in a third world election? Who eles will you leave behind when Howard Dean sats to?This from a Michigan Democrat!!!
- (Anonymous) No question, NoObama, Hillary for President, Dem. for MaCain
- (Marcia - Alamogordo, NM) Why can’t you vocalize your “change”?
And that is just from the very first page. Onward, page 2!
- (Anonymous) You said ‘When Americans go to France, they don’t know the language’. How many Americans do you think could actually afford to go there or would want to go? Let Hispanics learn some English before they sneak into this country first.
The Hilltards hit the booze early on Fridays, apparently.
Can We Ask? [RNC]
This site just begs for some fuckery, doesn’t it?
“Why are you Muslim?”
“Why do you hate America?”
“Why are you a dirty liar?”
“Why do you urinate on the American flag?”
am i supposed to leave confused and annoyed?
Why do you insist on running a competent campaign and making our guy look like a total doofus? Damn your dirty, rotten soul to hell!
When did your wife stop beating you?
i have a question for you, Don of Michigan, why can’t you spell and use correct grammar?
Question: Can we ask?
Answer: Not coherently.
“Can We Ask?” Yes, I have many questions, but it doesn’t really matter. No-one will remember McCain in another year or so…
“How come girls can wear guys clothes, but guys can’t wear girls clothes?”
Where do babies come from, Nobama?
“How badly will you beat McCain - a squeaker like Bush/Gore in 2000, or enough to make Fritz Mondale send McCain a sympathy card?”
Is it true that Michelle is really a drag queen whose stage name is Tara Newhole?
“Why is there a rash on my scrotum?”
“Why do I want to give you $20 so I can suck your cock?”
Bob Allen FL
Rupert Fantasy No. 128:
(Bill - Jefferson City, MO) What will you say to the thousands of Democrats like me who will flock to John McCain the moment you are nominated?
Barack Obama: You’re retarded. Don’t let the door hit your fat ass on the way out. When I’m elected, I’ll rat fuck you and your simpering bitch friends till they cry tears of blood. And Joe Lieberman? Oh, you don’t want to know.
Why do you have to be so racial by being so…..you know….black?
Can’t you be just an American like our past presidents were (even that JFK fellow)?
satyricrash: Guys can’t wear girls clothes???
Hart88:
…to say the very least.
Can someone remind me why we abolished literacy tests for voting?
Scarlett Johansson and Lara Logan: which one would be the Ferrari and which would be the Maserati?
Where can I get the best deal on Truck Nutz?
Why do we park on driveways, but drive on parkways?
I think that first comment was Ayn Rand…
PoliticalGraffiti: Exactly. My favorite is how Don Dem from Michigan uses the wrong there/their. And he’s probably a high school English teacher or something…
satyricrash: …we cant?!
LikeSweetTea_NotARedneck:
Don of the Mount is too enraged to be coherent. Trouble is, nobody knows why.
tunamelt: …damn you!!!
Tell me Barack, why are you such an elitist?
I don’t trust anyone like you who can say them fancy words to confuze me.
Why can’t you be more down to earth like our great president Bush? Huh!
Hart88: ohh yes massive fuckery
How long does the big sale on truck nutz last?
I’m glad to see McCain sticking to his plan of not running a negative campaign… He’s letting the bitterz do it for him.
Dear Mr. osama, What the fuck is wrong with Republicans?
AngryBlakGuy: haHA! Now I can dash away, twirling my wicked mustache.
Why is the sky blue, Nobama? What makes green jell-o green?
OMG - Barry is RUINING THE DREAMS OF THE NEXT GENERATION OF BITTERZ:
“Sen Obama: My 17 year old son informed me he is not going to attend college in September. His tuition has been paid and it is a lifelong ambition. Why? He says there is no benefit. He believes under your campaign promises, he will work and sacrifice for 4 to 7 years - and then you will take it away from him and give it to a highschool drop out. How do I assure him?”
Hey jackass: I worked my way through college during the Bush administration. I had to worry that I would work and sacrifice only to have everything taken away and given to Blackwater and KBR. Cry me a fucking river.
And what about the Millennium Development Goals? Well?!
Is it true when you get a physical the doctor brings a forklift?
…I have a question for the almighty omnipotent hope ejaculator!
“Why does my neighbors dog insist on humping my leg but not my girlfriends?”
Sincerely
Wet Pant Leg in Miami
How cum y’dunt weer a towl on yer heed lak all dem udder terris?
‘Let Hispanics learn some English before they sneak into this country first.’
Obviously written by a sneaky, newly arrived, self loathing hispanic.
How do I get to the waffle house from here?
Mr Barak, Why do you think that you would be a president that is a better president then Admiral Mccain would have been had he been president in 2000 instead of President Bush ?
“Senator Obama, if Senator Jack Reed were on a horse and he wanted to get down, would you help Jack off the horse?”
“Does size matter?”
“Spit or swallow?”
“boxers or briefs?”
If a train leaves a station, heading south at 35 MPH….
Servo: Touché
Why does it hurt when I pee?
Dear Hopey,
If you had a blimp would it sport TruckNutz?
Love, Paul
“Do you really taste like chocolate? We don’t get many negros around these parts.”
…is it still rape if she is drunk?
How do I post a comment here?
Is angryblak guy blacker than Obama? (who is not black enough)
Why does the garbage always weigh more than the groceries?
Why does yo’ black daddy hate yo’ white mama?
And why does my bologna have a first name?
Is resistance really futile?
(Anonymous) The one thing we can do about the Oil Prices, is getting the value of the dollar Back one dollar What would you do to get the value of a dollar back to a dollar, Since if the dollar is worth a dollar, the Price of Oil will come down?
Chicken or ribs?
Cicada: But if her son didn’t go to college, wouldn’t he then be on almost the same level as a high school dropout, hence qualifying for whatever Obama was “giving away”?
Do you want fries with that?
How much for a rib?
PoliticalGraffiti: are we even sure he is attempting English? That is incomprehensible enough to be a different language altogether.
Cicada: Answer: go put a boot up his whiny entitled ass and tell him it’s this or the Navy.
Is the Hokey Pokey really what it’s all about? Or should we rename it the Hopey Pokey?
Why is Cindy McCain such a trollopey c*nt?
Who’s nutz does McCain have in his cheeks?
How does you expect us people of the erth (y’know, morons) to survive on hope? If’n you only give your own family 1 dollar a week to live on. That ain’t barely enough to get sumfin’ off the dollar menu at mcD’s wheres I no longer goes on account of the homosexuals.
I heard that the black the berry, the sweeter the juice.
Is this true?
Also, do you think Heath Ledger be nominated?
Can I get Chelsea’s digits?
Are you planning any carrier landings after the election?
What I want to know is how we see thiese video questions…
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Cicada: Dear moron, your 17 year old son is a lazy manipulator who is spinning you a fabulous line of BS and who is going to mooch off you for the next 10 years. Both you and he need to grow up. Or buy yourself some TruckNutz. I hear they make you manly.
Is your body an amazing machine like mine? I can take a burrito and turn it into sperm and snarkyness.
“Where do you get off?”
Mumble Softly: …well, considering the fact that when I rolled out of bed this morning I tripped over my penis I think yes!
A train leaves the station at 5:00 going 700 miles per hour. Another train leaves the station coming the opposite direction at 800 miles per hour. If the track between the trains is completely straight and free of any obstruction, why do you hate america you fucking mooslem?
Thank you for your kind attention to this matter.
Mumble Softly: oh my god.
IQ tests before voting please!
mookworthjwilson: these…damn…maybe I need to learnz inglish…
If the bitterz like Jesus, and Jesus brought the good news, why won’t Jesus bring the bitterz some good news?
JeffGoldblum:
“Yeah, you’ve got a lotta of nerve! That’s my question!”
MoodProcessor: …I don’t know whose “nutz” are in his mouth but yesterday he was eating German wieners!
Conservapedia say you’d be an Affirmative Action President; why do you hate homeschooled retards?
Is it true that once you go black, you never go back?
Is it true what they say about black guys?
Why are so many of these questions completely unreadable? Is it the poor grammar and usage or the lack of punctuation?
Yes, I really did submit that question. Let’s see if it shows…
I have read three pages worth of this “stuff”. We’re through the looking glass here people.
mookworthjwilson: http://net.gop.com/canweask/CWAVideo.aspx
WARNING: Somethings, once see, cannot be unseen. You may end up jumping into the fires of Mount Doom. The stupid . . . it burns.
On the plus side, these are youtube embeds. COMMENTS ENABLED.
AngryBlakGuy: Brings now meaning to “Sauer Kraut”, nein?
AngryBlakGuy: In California, yes, actually.
AngryBlakGuy: Bushy the squirrels nutz…
How DO they get so much cheesy goodness into a Cheez-It?
How much is a 10 cent ice cream cone?
Doglessliberal: may I ask as to which comment you replied “oh my god”
There were many deserving ones
Do you really want to hurt me?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
I bet MaCain would answer that, you spanish speaking, elitist, black militant Muslim Terrorist.
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
“Do you happen to know Miss Rain Day?”
“Do you know the woman who the Enquirer says is having an affair with John Edwards?”
“If you make John Edwards your Vice President running mate, what happens to that woman?”
“As the President of the United States, will you write proclamations every year noting the annual Miss Rain Day festivities?”
“Was your wife ever a Miss Rain Day contestant?”
“Why isn’t there a Mr. Rain Day?”
“Will you ask the Office of the Special Counsel to investigate why there isn’t a Mr. Rain Day?”
which is the better hot sauce: tabasco, texas pete, or dave’s insanity sauce?
Shouldn’t the alt-tag read, “No, we can’t”?
Mah pappy sez that if yew people have purple gums then yewr poisnous. Is dat true?
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
Why am you not me friend? Why not can American win all wars? Why you have wife with hair and big pretty? Why me feel need … a deep, longing need … to wrap hands around you skinny throat like all blaK pepul and SKWUEEZ AND SKWEEZ AND SWKWEEZ!!! Eyaaugghh!
Can it only really get better from here?
Who is Spain? Why is Hitler? Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?
ALIVE!: Do you really want to make me cry?
Can you verify reports of Joe Lieberman’s superfluous third nipple?
How come I can’t find RC Cola ’round here any more?
Why can’t we all just get along?
Why Can’t we be friends?
How many roads must a man travel down, before you can call him a man?
Blew your mind, didnt I?
david lee roth or sammy hagar?
Do I really have to wait 30 minutes after eating before I can go back in the pool?
Mumble Softly: the dollar=a dollar one. And true, it is a bounty of idiocy.
“Does this look infected?”
ALIVE!: I just realized your avatar is Abe Vigoda. Best avatar/screen name combo ever!
Where da white women at?