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NO PARTIES FOR YOU

John McCain Too Popular To Party With Us

Dejected, rejected
We were so excited about the MCCAIN NATION, and yet our very first request to attend a McCain party was stone cold rejected. The Straight Talk Express minces no words when it comes to telling its fans a particular event has reached capacity! A similar email from the Obama campaign would have had the subject line, “Barack Obama Wants To Meet With You In Person And Make Out With You,” and then a big long paragraph about how great you look in that outfit, and then a request for money, and then at the end one very quick sentence: “By the way please try to come to a different event, because this one is full.”


9:26 AM on Fri July 25 2008
By Sara K. Smith
1067 Views

  1. Anita Cocktail says at 9:31 am, July 25th, 2008

    The capacity for this event must have been two (John and Cindy?) Someone’s gonna wait in line to hear Matlock crab about Obama’s great press? Yeah, right.

  2. loquaciousmusic says at 9:32 am, July 25th, 2008

    What was the crowd capacity for that room? Three?

  3. loquaciousmusic says at 9:32 am, July 25th, 2008

    Anita Cocktail: Jinx! You owe me a Coke! Or some coke! Where’s Cindy?

  4. ManchuCandidate says at 9:33 am, July 25th, 2008

    Only so many seats for the Puppet Show.

  5. freakishlystrong says at 9:36 am, July 25th, 2008

    Realistically, only about 10-12 people can cram in to the cheese aisle at a time…

  6. Imagine42 says at 9:39 am, July 25th, 2008

    Well, he didn’t want to allow too many people into one event: That would make him a Nazi.

  7. Canuckledragger says at 9:41 am, July 25th, 2008

    Don’t knock over the applesauce! Ooops. Clean up in Aisle Three!

  8. AfghanVet says at 9:41 am, July 25th, 2008

    Only so many people can fit in a room when they have hoods on their heads and have a big cross and gasoline in the room as well. It’s a logistics thing.

  9. Canuckledragger says at 9:43 am, July 25th, 2008

    Sarah, don’t take the rejection personally. The campaign only has a little bit of room for supporters, what with the massive press corps following McCain around….

  10. Pop Socket says at 9:45 am, July 25th, 2008

    loquaciousmusic: Those airport bathroom stalls just aren’t big enough.

  11. shortsshortsshorts says at 9:46 am, July 25th, 2008

    For some reason McCain makes me SOOOOO gay. Something about a sausage fest in a tight space.

  12. Pop Socket:
    Larry Craig didn’t have a problem packing ‘em in.

  13. Larry McAwful says at 10:00 am, July 25th, 2008

    Where is this event, anyway? I want to drop by the venue to see if Mitt Romney is working the velvet rope out front. “You’re cool… you’re cool… turn around, Mr. No-Flag Pin… you’re cool…”

  14. DoctorCulturae says at 10:09 am, July 25th, 2008

    Imagine42: Ben Stein: making the world safe for Ben Stein.

  15. Larry McAwful:
    Mittens HAS to wear his blue proctological exam gloves. SNAP!

  16. Uncle Al says at 10:10 am, July 25th, 2008

    A campaign that didn’t have hardening of the arteries would find a bigger venue so they wouldn’t have to turn anyone away.

  17. AngryBlakGuy says at 10:11 am, July 25th, 2008

    …silly commentors, didnt you all know that geriatric homes have limits as to how many visitors can visit at the same time?!

  18. irisheyes says at 10:16 am, July 25th, 2008

    Is there a community name/email we can all use to look for events on McCain’s super awesome interwebs site? I wanted to search for one near me (mostly to see if there are indeed that many morons living in my vicinity), but I really don’t want to give them my actual email address.

  19. Toonces says at 10:21 am, July 25th, 2008

    Well, within 100 miles of my suburban DC Maryland zip code, there is exactly one event listed with McCain. Obama has 418. McCain supporters better get to work!!!

  20. Doglessliberal says at 10:21 am, July 25th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: right, you don’t want to overstimulate the residents; they might keel over.

  21. You fail to party with John McCain. No Dairy Delights for you!

  22. Cape Clod says at 10:34 am, July 25th, 2008

    Sara, ask to be put on a waiting list. 30% of the attendeeswill probably keel over and die before the event happens. When is it, Saturday?

  23. S.Luggo says at 10:44 am, July 25th, 2008

    Here’s a disguise to get you in: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/56/174915900_3a3e4753de.jpg
    Send pictures.

  24. pattycake says at 10:54 am, July 25th, 2008

    Try doing the request from an address that doesn’t have “tips” or “wonkette” in it. I got an invite when I sent in my request from my “getoffmylawn.com” address.

  25. Smackdown says at 10:55 am, July 25th, 2008

    This is a total auto-response. Nobody has wanted to join, and it’s just autoresponding that it’s full to make it seem like McCain has friends besides the New Hampshire reporter who went there on a dare.

  26. SayItWithWookies says at 10:55 am, July 25th, 2008

    That’s just some of his famous Straight Talk(tm). It’s exactly that type of bracing encouragement that’s going to get people to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, take a good look around — and vote for somebody else.

  27. NoWireHangers says at 11:12 am, July 25th, 2008

    It’s too bad WALNUTS! event was full. I heard they were serving hot fruit.

  28. DoctorCulturae: Ben Stein: Hyperbolic asshole.

  29. itgetter says at 11:20 am, July 25th, 2008

    NoWireHangers: and hot bottled water for all infants in attendance

  30. V572625694 says at 11:21 am, July 25th, 2008

    Imagine42: Was Ben Stein funny once? I can’t remember anymore. Did he catch Dennis Miller Disease or something?

  31. Imagine42 says at 11:35 am, July 25th, 2008

    V572625694: We have to hope so, for his sake. Otherwise, his brain is really just deteriorating. Like Reagan. Or….um….well….McCain, actually….

  32. Sara K. Smith says at 11:39 am, July 25th, 2008

    S.Luggo: Ha! That isn’t just a “disguise” — it’s my everyday work uniform!

  33. PoliticalGraffiti says at 11:52 am, July 25th, 2008

    Gmail. nice.

  34. Spiro Agnew says at 11:58 am, July 25th, 2008

    S.Luggo: Dont send pics, just come to my place.

  35. gurukalehuru says at 12:10 pm, July 25th, 2008

    I wonder if the event was already full or if it was just sort of an internet, hehe, just kidding around here in cyberspace, sort of event. Like the McCain people are now hooked on the whole idea of this new, pretend world out there where they can all be 6 foot tall and 20 years old, and they’re busy making up events that don’t happen in real time.
    Like, they’re not even trying to catch up to team Obama, first they have to catch up to team Ron Paul. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but it would explain it.

  36. S.Luggo says at 12:22 pm, July 25th, 2008

    Sara K. Smith: Must Newell wear the same get up?

    Another disguise option: http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/1/-/2/mccain_monica_moment.jpg

  37. How does one meet crapacity?

  38. Anita Cocktail says at 10:37 pm, July 25th, 2008

    irisheyes: geez, can’t you just go to gmail.com and get a fake email address like everybody else does?

  39. moviechick says at 2:26 am, July 26th, 2008

    Perhaps they were just unfamiliar with email invitations.. after all, people who attend McCain events have not advanced beyond telegrams.

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