Wonkette
It’s not just John McCain, but all of “these people,” who can think of no better way to spend their time than by making petty one-liners about Barack Obama giving a speech to a large number of human beings somewhere. Famous conservative bastion The Corner — the National Review’s chit-chatty blog — is having a field day even by its high standards. After the jump, some of the notable moments from this online club of semi-literate divorcees forever bitching about their exes.
Lead idiot Kathryn Jean Lopez, in particular, is having a productive day:
Obama in Berlin [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
He’s too used to American young people who don’t know their history. He’s explaining German history to Germans … among Westerners, the German people might be among those most acutely aware of their history.
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I’m Better Than Reagan! [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
Obama has a whole grocery list of walls he is going to tear down.
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Obama’s History Lesson [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
He ironically warned of the dangers of retreat. Um, Senator. You mean, like, in Iraq today? And a year ago when you didn’t want to give the surge a chance?
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“Never Again” [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
I’m not sure it’s kosher to use that phrase when giving a creepy rally in Germany.
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“People of Berlin. People of the World.” [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
Apparently this is a moment that Obama doesn’t really need Americans for.
Indeed, Kathryn, this particular “creepy rally” was not held in America, which does not include any “people of the world.”
Anyway, let’s meet your friend Kathleen Parker and see what she has to say:
Speaking of the Moment [Kathleen Parker]
I guess I was a tad too cryptic with my earlier post. Anyone watching Obama’s speech in Berlin would have recognized it. Again and again, Obama told Berliners that “this is our moment.” To do everything. Work hard, fight the terrorists, prevent a future Darfur, be kind to our neighbors, tolerate difference, stand together, tear down walls, kiss the babies, put Humpty Dumpty together again and, not least, save the males.
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The Moment [Kathleen Parker]
He said, “This is THE moment.” Sixteen times.
OK, that’s ENOUGH. It was a pretty boring speech, but maybe not to the Nazi Germans who didn’t spend every Tuesday this winter/spring watching cable primary coverage. Don’t these people whack it every day to Ronald Reagan because he was a good speaker or something?
The Great Cummunicator
GIVE. THE SURGE. A CHANCE. Won’t someone PLEASE think of the contractors?
This is all VERY Impressive — I mean the speech and adulation!
Yea? and I took a tequila shot every time Hopey said “this is the moment”…!
excuse me.
Save the males? Is NRO a hangout for bitters these days?
If Obama could go to Germany and give a speech in English and be not only understood but well-received, why does he say we all need to learn another language?
I say that as a big proponent of Latin learning. But I’m guessing Obama had other languages in mind …
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=M2I4ZjJlYTdlODZiNmY3NjZkNzkxOGRiMmU5MGM3Y2Y=
Good gravy, KJL — wouldn’t it be nice if we understood as much about the Germans as they understand about us? No, wait — that would be unpatriotic. If anyone’s looking for me, I’ll be packing for re-education camp.
If these mouth breathers don’t want to vote for Barry that’s great and their right. Why oh why then do they care to follow his every word/move? Why not pay attention to Grandpa WALNUTS! He’s dying for the attention anyway. Poor poor WALNUTS! Not even his followers want to change his bedpan.
Sooooooo….it’s like Wonkette except the commenters are all dumb and unfunny? Gee, sounds riveting.
Saw Nas on Colbert last night, and thought his “Sly Fox” would be appropriate. Awesome! The Germans may have enjoyed Nas as Barry’s opening act, and the Fox-loving bloggers would go WILD!!
http://www.prefixmag.com/media/nas/colbert-report-videos/20167/
Jim, you forgot the tag “childish, petty whining”. Or would that just be stating the obvious, considering the source? Anyway, you are a tougher man than me - I can never make myself read The Corner.
NoWireHangers: NRO commenters are just in LOVE with Barack Obama. We should choose a song that represents that love.
These women masturbate to black and white photos of William F. Buckley.
I’m with Sara K. Smith. Let’s just have the election right now. The next few months are gonna be excruciating.
Wow. Sixteen whole times. It’s called speechcraft, you dumb ___. Does she complain when the chorus of her favorite song comes on? “They’ve already said this!”
NoWireHangers: cuz they’re not campaigning to win, they’re campaigning for Obama to lose.
Lascauxcaveman: From the attentions of the NRO commenters, presumably.
NoWireHangers: Walnuts’ staffer in charge of changing his bedpan was horrified when the candidate did his press avail in front of the “DAIRY AISLE” at the grocery store yesterday.
This is soooo great. Republicans are finally having to confront a Democratic Ronald Reagan — smooth, charming, not all that devoted to consistency, and effortlessly leading hordes of starry-eyed supporters.
Byron York is incensed by the line: “The terrorists of September 11th plotted in Hamburg and trained in Kandahar and Karachi before killing thousands from all over the globe on American soil.”
The problem, you see, is that of the 2,819 people who died in the Twin Towers, only 595 were born outside the U.S. That’s not thousands!
Before you object that the U.S. is part of the globe too, I just checked my atlas, and the U.S. is flat. None of that round nonsense here!
In the privacy of the voting booth, they will each vote for Obama, then go home and masturbate. Again.
He’s too used to American young people who don’t know their history. He’s explaining German history to Germans … among Westerners, the German people might be among those most acutely aware of their history.
As the commenter might say, I’m too used to the stupid.
This is ironic because Kathleen Parker is the closest to a living, breathing Nazi in the US media today. I’ll let her words about “blood equity” speak for herself:
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opinion/oped/bal-op.parker15.1may15,0,7881791.story
Thank you, you wonderful minds of The Corner. Now I know that Obama is not a secret Muslim. He is in fact a secret NAZI.
Seriously, are there a lot of Americans who have trouble acknowledging the fact that the US is part of “the world”? I mean, this is simple, 3rd-grade-level geography, right?
Germans love David Hasselhoff! That doesn’t necessarily disqualify them from loving Hopey, but it does make you wonder what the two have in common…
But wait…I just don’t understand K-Lo’s statement about Obama’s mistake of talking all historical and stuff. Is she saying that he’s being condescending to Germans because he thinks they’re all idiots like here in the US?
Those cuntservative hags haven’t felt a “surge” in 20 years
El Bombastico: My friends, that is a valid point, ummmm, wait I forgot what I was going to say, my friends.
jagorev: Why would we want to be part of this ‘world’ of which you speak. It’s nothing but Old Europe and foreigners.
jagorev: I found the picture that goes with her article.
http://www.outsidethetent.com/photos/ku_klux_kathleen.jpg
jagorev: I’m sorry, but in high school we had World History and American History, and they were definitely different courses. In fact, I don’t think we even mentioned America in the World History course, mostly because the instructor got so far behind that we barely made it out of the Middle Ages.
As for the world in American History, occasionally other countries (presumably part of this “world” thing) would be mentioned, mostly as losing to America in wars, which of course Americans always win. But that’s about it.
Hooray For Anything: Of course not - she doesn’t give a rat’s ass about non-Mexican foreigners. Instead, Barry’s condescending to Americans because he talks to Germans like he would to stupid Americans, and that would be elitist. Or something like that.
Tawmn: NO they masturbate to pictures of Will Smith, stuck in between pictures of Buckley.
Talk about bitterness and clinging to shit, they’re pissed cuz Obama was
referring to THEM…
Mahousu: West Virginia schools are real good.
My friends, did he really repeat the same phrase sixteen times? My friends, that’s excessive, don’t you think, my friends? My friends, doesn’t this render his speech unlistenable? I mean really, my friends.
Mahousu: Your instructor didn’t even cover the part of World History where Jesus moved to Missouri and planted all those dinosaur fossils?
jagorev: You’re talking about Earth Science class. And yes, something like that did get mentioned.
jagorev: Damn, that Kathleen Parker’s “full-blooded American” nonsense is disgusting, and smacks of the worst sort of Nazi-oid “Aryan” racism, as though the United States were some tribe, like the Italians or the French.
” Some Americans do feel antipathy toward ‘people who aren’t like them,’ but that antipathy isn’t about racial or ethnic differences. It is not necessary to repair antipathy appropriately directed toward people who disregard the laws of the land and who dismiss the struggles that resulted in their creation…Full-blooded Americans get this. Those who hope to lead the nation better get it soon.”
Here’s something real Americans “get”: this country was founded on ideas, not tribal affinities.
shortsshortsshorts: Here’s my vote. Imagine if it was Hopey singing, instead of Terence Trent D’Arby:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=z2xgvE2UL-Q
Lascauxcaveman: I think there were just a lot of right-wingers who bent ever so slightly for Hillary, but snapped far-right after her sympathetic pleas to conservative america only found appeal among Republicans.
Lopez is Rosie’s love child. http://www.featurebank.com/images/lores/lop_lores.jpg
jagorev: To paraphrase a great political thinker of our time — I can’t remember who it was — but Parker’s column read better in the original German.
Sending these two to “The Corner” for a time out was not punishment enough.
Tawmn:
The nekkid ones are quite stimulating.
FMA: Replying to myself, sorry, but I was paraphrasing the late, great Molly Ivins, who coined the “original German” remark in response to a Patrick Buchanan speech.
Of course all those Germans know history better than moran Americans. They showed up to hear an American, for once, say they understand history too.
Mahousu: You could always go back to school and take Mr. Bush’s government class.
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=OGQ2NjRkZTI0OWIyZWIxNDg5N2RhMTViNTQ3OTRmYmU=
jagorev: Um…there are a lot of Americans who take offense at the idea that human beings are part of the animal kingdom, much less that they’re closely related to chimpanzees.
America is like humans — specially created by God and therefore unworthy of being compared to those other creatures it rubs shoulders with.
“People of Berlin. People of the World.” [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
Apparently this is a moment that Obama doesn’t really need Americans for.
Kathryn Jean Lopez, blogging on the moon.
A lot of conservative dialogue makes more sense and sounds much better in the original German.
GlennBecksTaint:
win!
You call that commenting? Where’s the snark, where are the ass fucking jokes, the biting social commentary (like, “I’d do her”)? The conservatives in this country are just so eff-ing lame!
Obama’s going into Poland.
masterdebater: Maybe if Kitty Lopez got fucked in the ass, she’d be less of a bitch.
Now they won’t let you go on their cruise, Jim. Hope you realize what you’ve lost.
Well the NRO is probably scared that Barry`s in Germany recruiting [url=http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=FBJEnXtHa2I]these guys.[/url]
To them I say Sour Fucking Grapes. SOUR. FUCKING. GRAPES. Walnuts is acting like he would NEVER give a speech out of the country, even though he just did in Canada, Mexico and Columbia and drew about 16 people.
loquaciousmusic: She certainly wouldn’t be as much of a tight ass. That’s for sure.
Cape Clod: You know, Kathryn is on to something here. There was an old Doonesbury cartoon about how Henry Kissinger could only teach college freshmen, since everyone older knew he was a war criminal. Kathryn’s just saying, in W’s case, even the freshmen realize that.
“Race for the Whitehouse” turned into something I want to poop on today when whatevahisfucknuts name is started with “We can see there are positives for Obama here, but I want to focus on the vulnerabilities.” Like Kryptonite or something. SHUST UP.
So you had to post on Rosie O’Donnell’s ugly Puerto Rican soulsistah?
http://www.featurebank.com/images/hires/lop_hires.jpg
I picked the wrong day to stop drinking.
Kathryn Jean Lopez fantasizes about being ravished by Fred Thompson while quietly sobbing the words to “Leather and Lace.”
jagorev: Ha! When I followed your link, I got to an ad from the Maryland Democratic Party!
Savvy, or serendipity?
I Just arrived here so Im going to stay quiet and observe. BUT Why isnt barry going to Cuba? or Africa? or India?, Pakistan could be a great place to get on a soap box.
cal: Oh, no. It’s Mitt she loves, and Mitt alone.
Girl may be stupid, but she ain’t blind.
I just wonder what the incredible minds over at The Corner would have thought about that Commie John Kennedy when he said “All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin.”
Fucking Commie.
THE UNICK: so iraq and afghanistan didn’t count? not that i’m saying if you’ve been to one “istan” you’ve been to them all, but it’s not as if he’s been avoiding trouble areas.
This whole thing reminds me of the time when Richard Nixon declared Timothy Leary “the most dangerous man in america.” Why because were he to be free he would spread his, “ideas.” We would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those pesky ideas and that dude wearing the ascott!
I always knew K-Lo hated the US and her first comment shows it.