Wonkette
There has been some speculation and anti-speculation that John McCain will pick his vice president this week, and that it will be Mitt Romney because why not. The timing of McCain’s announcement is particularly important, because it will be the only chance he has of getting decent press coverage ever. What if he announces it on the same day Obama breaks a fingernail or goes to the gym SEVEN times! The McCain campaign dreads something of this nature. Anyway, Mittens has sent out a fundraising plea to the 4-5 people remaining on his e-mail list on behalf of John McCain, so perhaps this means something! About the future!
Please be Mittens, please be Mittens… Mittens writes and says the most comical things!
This election will be a clear choice between a liberal Democrat and John McCain — a Republican who is dedicated to upholding long-held conservative principles of limited government, a strong national defense and individual freedom.
Bolding his. Hey, Mittens — how is this choice at all “clear” when McCain is a known “liberal Democrat” himself?
Sounds like a flip-flopper.
You can’t blame Mittens though, he has to keep track of all those wives.
Romney: “This election will be a clear choice between black and white.”
Eeeeek. Having Mitt show up right after I’ve been ogling Tom Selleck is creating sexual cognitive dissonance to the exxxtreme.
Hey Mittens, does WALNUTS bother negotiating your funny underpants for a reacharound? I bet he does for Magic Darkie Jindal.
If Mitt Romney becomes Vice President, it’ll be the first time that the warm bucket of piss is a step UP.
This seemed like an ideal thread to use the Romney “fudge packing” pic.
Scarab: Romney: “This election will be a clear choice between someone who let the dogs out and someone who kept the dogs tied to the roof his car. As a fellow traveller, I say we elect the latter.”
Mitt, the Fundies called. They said you were supposed to help them BOYCOTT, not, “Girl, caught.” Give her back, now.
mookworthjwilson: His face should be next to the entry for “square” in the urban dictionary. How bad is it when you’re hoping he’ll upgrade to “Fo shizzle”?
I finally found a Mittens the Kittens framegrab from Futurama (bottom of the post). Poor little naughty Mittens looks a bit hurt and chastened.
Ah COME ON now…there must be something positive we can say about ‘ol Mitt…errrrr…NICE HAIR!
Ooooooh, the dreaded double pejorative: liberal Democrat. Is there a fiercer insult in the whole of the English language?
sanantonerose: Whooooaaaaaaa…. TMI. Dammit. T.M.I.
Dan Quale 2.0
Soooo…we do know he’s going to totally fuck Cindy McCain, right?
Yeah, this is brilliant! It would assure that John McCain gets more then the normal 90% of the vote that Mormons usually give to Republicans…
I dunno why you guys are picking on Mitt…he’s gonna bring back all those jobs to Detroit! And that would be very good for our country! THANK YOU MITT!
Please, Jeebus, let it be Mittens!
does anyone else miss Huckabee?
granted, he was kind of bonkers but he always struck me as an upright dude. a bit out of touch but more honest and accepting of dissenting opinions (well, more able to “agree to disagree”) than any of the other asshats being considered for the Republican ticket.
not that they would, but I hope party establishment regrets ridiculing and alienating him now that they’re left with a short list of annoying, ambitious long-shots for the VP slot.
GlennBecksTaint: More like Jack Kemp 2.0
I just registered the domain name http://www.IllegalMexicanLandscapersForMcCainRomney08.com
And now I wait for the money to start rolling in…
Wait a minute…republicans are for individual freedom? I’m guessing that’s only as long as it doesn’t involve my uterus.
pondscum: The fundies, they like to get in the undies.
Mittens would be an absolutely hilarious VP candidate, but the Republicans are blessed this year with a list of possibles who all have unusually high comedy quotients (or “CQs”). Grandpa Fred would be a scream, and don’t underestimate Bobby Jindal, who might be the funniest of all. Even picking noted GILF Sarah Palin would result in a season of sexual innuendo and other merry japes. Let’s face it people, life is good these days, maybe better than even the Golden Age of Dan Quayle.
With Mittens on the ticket, they’ll surely sweep up in Massachusetts. Ha ha ha
We’ll see if he can hold his fudge with rubber gloves now! MOO HA HA!
yeah, a Massachusetts guy should do great in the South.
John Kerry’d
Gopherit v2.0: Naw, I like Mittens pandering to the blaks.
Either Mittens or Bobby Jindal. I’d be happy with either one. They’re both so fucking nuts and scary that they could easily tank the GOP ticket even without McCain’s senile bumbling.
shortsshortsshorts: Oh, pshaw. You’re tough. You can handle it.
Aw, that’s a sweet pix of Mitt, posing with the Romney household staff. Is he a Big Tent Republican or is that a banana in his pants?
I’m beginning to get the sense that the Republics, Bush sadly included, think Obama’s name is like Candyman’s–if you say it too many times, he will stuff bees in your white lady wife and steal her away for a romantic rendezvous in a Chicago public housing cave.
Keep up the good work Mittens!
pondscum: …or your brain dead wife.
I’m talking Schiavo, not Cindy… ;P
NebraskashireGentry: Huckabee was a lotta laughs. But seriously: he wanted to amend the Constitution to bring it into line with the 10 Commandments. Where would we buy liquor on Sundays?
And when Juan keels over just three weeks after taking the oath of office - breaking the previous record for shortest (!) presidency held by Old Tippecanoe - St. Mitt will take office and the White House will be truly white (saved!) and full of fat ass frat boys
http://www.crooksandliars.com/Media/Play/20229/1/TDS-Romney-Boys.wmv/
Five reasons why Republocrats should dump McCain for Mitch Romneyliac: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHUSQwZ6gWo
columnv: He looks afraid that he might get some “Mark of Cain” on him.
I was in Walgreen’s earlier, and I swear I saw Mittens on a box of Clairol Natural Instincts color for men. Just sayin’.
That’s actually a prop hand on that girls shoulder. Mitt’s hand is safely in his pocket.
“McCain will pick his vice president this week, and that it will be Mitt Romney because why not”?
Because all the fighting fundies he’s been trying to pick up by sucking up to Rod Parsley and John Haggee would not vote for a Mormon in a million years!
Zhu Bajie
NebraskashireGentry: “does anyone else miss Huckabee?” Yes, because I looked forward to 4-8 years of jokes on his name! You just know that he’d be called F*ckabee as often as not.
V572625694: Elks’s Lodge. That’s why they were founded.