Wonkette
Here’s a fantastic new John McCain ad, about Gas Prices. It shows a gas pump in a stream of water. Oh no the water is a mirage! (But why is the pump in a mirage, hmm?) And then the narrator asks, “Who can we thank for rising prices at the pump?” as a million retards scream “OBAMA! OBAMA!” behind Obama’s fat head. Obama put the high gas prices in the middle of the mirage! Finally the narrator tells us, “Don’t hope for more energy, vote for it.” Because a “vote for energy” is a vote for a 72-year-old geezer, see? [YouTube]
Once again, I’m grateful that I live in one of those safe states that are not bombarded with this kind of crap. “Vote for energy”? WTF?
OH I GET IT.
So there are TONS of gas pumps in the middle of the ocean, and because of Barry we can’t just drive up to them and pump.
Well fuck you, Barry. I want that gas.
We pay $7 for a gallon where I live.
Audio only, since I’m at work, but why does McCain think his most flattering camera angle is up the nose? If you were giving him a bj, this would be the view. “Look at me, 100 years old and my nostril hair is neatly trimmed!”
At 4 seconds and 11 seconds it reminds me of a trailer I’ve seen. Memento, perhaps??
I also want that gas. Can I get it in that circa 1971 pump as well?
blowhard: It’s because he’s so short that anything other than a headshot makes him look like a circus midget.
shortsshortsshorts: But the gas pumps in the ocean will only be further in the ocean if you pump them! Don’t you care about your Malibu beach-front mansion, you winer?
Surely the American people aren’t stupid enough to believe that Barack Obama is responsible for high gas prices. Right? Right?
Fuck it, I’m moving to Iceland.
but manbearpig dun tole me on sundee that dere wudn’t no oirl in da ohshuns?
There’s gotta be a whole new category of whore diamonds to explain the recent attempt by the Earl Bidness to turn a derivative driven manipulation of energy prices into drilling under a polar bear’s rapidly thawing ass. Oh, that, and that argument totally misses the part about Barry being a secret Manchurian Candidate for the moozlems. That’s really why he’s behind oil prices going through the roof. The moozlems need more money for their suicide bombs and astrolabes and rosewater scented desserts! Oh well, I guess that’s less money for me to spend on Truck Nutz.
I think I read in Wikipedia, Obama was also the catalyst for the 1930’s depression.
WALNUTS! has figured out Hopey’s secret ties to OPEC (he’s a mooslem, dontcha know?). Hence HOPEY is behind skyrocketing oil prices. It’s all the fault of them middle easterners. Which Barak Hussein Obooma is one of, see, on account of his middle name.
You have to admit it makes as much sense on blaming high gas prices on a twenty year old offshore drilling ban.
Johnny Zhivago: … makes him look like a circus midget.
Gah, that would be the world’s most depressing circus ever.
I was amused that the assclown in the Ferrari in front of me paid $65 to fill up while it cost my $25 for my Prius over the weekend. Clearly he’ll have to vote McCain to be able to afford his TinyPenisMobile. Where does Obama stand on this man’s pain?
Hopey made gas prices rise to force Detroit to market cars that run on unicorn pee. Well, that’s what I heard.
I gotta say, I’m a little embarrassed to admit that the voiceover lady kinda makes me feel funny in my pants.
Yes, lift the ban so we can drill for oil in WALNUTS! cheeks. Those look pretty juicy with precious American oils.
The OBAMA CHANTS at midpoint will sound great in Germany at the Victory Pillar or whatever it is, that dick-like thing. People will pass out, pledge oaths of loyalty to Obama. And it will all be done by torch light, i hope.
I guess Barack Obama really *is* your new bicycle.
somehow “energy” and “McCain” don’t seem to work together
Yeah, it’s Politico, but check out this image comparison:
http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0708/The_day_in_images.html
No, I have no idea why McCain is tooling around with Dr. Smith from Lost in Space.
Mahousu: Petraeus looks like a bunny facing a somewhat peckish cobra.
Excellent ad. I would give it 6 whore diamonds for sophistry and high production values.
As an Australian, I gotta say: You Yanks have it fucking easy for petrol.
Wow, they really don’t give the American people much credit, do they? But then again, why on earth would they? (See, McDonald’s piece infra.)
I dare them to air that in Florida.
Mahousu: OMG McCain’s rockin’ the Bob Dole pen. Finally, I now know that McCain’s like Bob Dole and that, my friends is a reason to vote REPUBLICAN! Just don’t steal Bob Dole’s peanut butter!
We’re going to be drilling for oil in the middle of the Columbia River? Fucking awesome.
And Willy Horton was the biggest oil thief of all. But we didn’t have a picture of him, so we’re using this senator, Mr. High and Uppity, raising the price of oil until you freeze in the dark and are forced to sit behind the wheel of your out of gas Escalade going “vrroooom! RRRRR! Out of my way, you gay bicyclist!”
There was a great article in the NYT over the weekend about how WALNUTS! has squandered his head start by not defining his candidacy in any kind of concrete terms. It’s true that the man has no central message, no theme, and to this day I can’t think of a single reason he’s expressed as to why he wants to be president. I had a vague feeling it was about winning the war in Iraq, but now he’s an energy czar? What next, president of anti-misogynist pantsuit-wearers? Cause I know he has that one locked up. Have people completely forgotten how to run for something instead of against someone?
Speaking of which, this whole I-have-no-message-except-making-fun-of-Obama worked great for Hilz.
Rant over. Here’s a palate cleanser:
Big sale on TRUCK NUTZ!