Wonkette
Oh Lordy be. Whenever there’s a slow news cycle, we need only look to our friends in South Carolina for a little pick-me-up. Here’s a bit of hilarity from State Senator Kevin Bryant, who put up this post a few days ago. Judging from the URL and one of the comments, it was originally titled “vacation and funny picture.” Now it’s been changed to just “picture” because apparently SOME PEOPLE CAN’T TAKE A JOKE. [Senator Kevin Bryant via Snead]
BAD TIME TO GO ON VACATION
South Carolina State Senator Posts Dumb Anti-Obama Tee Shirt Pic On His Blog
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9:16 AM
on Mon July 21 2008
By
Sara K. Smith
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Stay classy, South Carolina.
Kevin Bryant’s page header needs more Kevin Bryant name-branding.
It’s a satire, people, a satire. Can’t anyone take a joke?
It’s sarcasm. He’s pointing out the idiocy of all the political t-shirts in this campaign.
I suspect the “Backbench” is some kind of insider slang for the Power-bottom Caucus…
You know, there ARE actually intelligent people in SC but they are so appalled by the other folks that they are at a loss for words.
i always find it embarrassing for them when republicans try to be clever
Bryant vacationed at the flea market?
btw, that campaign photo of Bryant sends my gaydar into the red zone, bottom region. Is there a pool on how long until he’s caught soliciting schoolboys at the county fair?
jeebus…first chip pickering, now this guy.
i mean, are all these republican dickheads cast from the same mold?
are they cousins, barely removed?
they’re all from omega house, evidentally.
where the fukk is blutto when you need him?
Poor guy’s probably covering up some past foot tapping incidents.
Looking at the guy’s photo makes me think that someone’s mom didn’t stop drinking when she was knocked up.
Terry: Really? The ones I’ve met have moved elsewhere.
And the difference between Senator Bryant and Corky Thacher is, well apparently there is no difference.
That boy does have hisself some apple cheeks, don’t he?
*pinch pinch*
This is the New Yorker’s cover for next month.
sanantonerose - that’s caused by one too many trips to the moonshine still/outhouse with his mother.
Never to break with tradition, Southern Repubs will invariably elect the closet cockaholic that looks like a game show host.
I don’t like it. Don’t get me wrong, I totally agree with the message of how dangerous this man is to our Christian nation, but I’m just worried that The New Yorker’s sophisticated readers will think the t-shirt is a satire of right-wing views of Obama.
of course, he is a christian home ’skoolin, church camp leader who enjoys yardwork (wtf?!) and enjoying God’s creation… and then mowing it down and stuffing it in a bag for the wednesday trash pickup
Servo: Thank you for elucidating my innermost thoughts on Dubya. Oh, and he’s a blow monkey too.
sanantonerose: It’s like all of his facial features got smushed into the center of his face. That’s a fivehead if I’ve ever seen one.
I thought it said “Blog from the Back Door”
I saw this a few days ago and just dismissed it as another S.C. sideshow. Guess what passes as the usual here is considered batshit crazy everywhere else.
…and the only difference between Kevin Bryant and Mark Foley is that they both like sucking off little boys.
The picture of Senetor Bryant is the most hilarious. See why:
http://www.jupiterimages.com/popup2.aspx?navigationSubType=itemdetails&itemID=23324519
What is the difference between State Senator Kevin Bryant and Senator Larry Craig?
Getting caught.
The “Backbench,” for those not familiar with the BDSM scene in Anderson, SC, is a pedo club.
Those are capital letters. They’re BIG.
Every time Sen. Bryant does something douchey, an aborted fetus is planted in his cheeks.
That’s a lot of douchebaggery, Senator.
It’s the state legislature, people! In case you’ve never followed the happenings at your local statehouse, I’ll sum it up for you:
A group of about a dozen Boss Hog-esque, slave-owning fatsos handpick the most execrable law school graduates from the arse-holiest dirt patches in your particular state. They then run either unopposed or against the local militant vegan crank and win 99% of the vote because no one under 70 ever shows up for those random local election days. The aforementioned legislators then proceed to spend the next 30 years giving road contracts to their favorite assholes and passing symbolic anti-abortion resolutions. Democracy in Action!
Deepthroat: I have a theory about people who enjoy “yardwork.”
Are they still technically even a state? I thought we decided to let them have their stupid confederate flag and secede?
Later, when they’re drunk on a blend of moonshine and the heady power of fresh slavery, we can invade them too! Yay!
Botswana Meat Commission FC:
…and that’s just scratching the surface.
Terry: Just my wife and me. And we are frequently left speechless.
On the back it reads:
HUMMM
Are they brothers
Not_So_Much:
South Carolina has the largest standing army in the world. We can’t let them secede or they’d invade Georgia and enslave half of metropolitan Atlanta.
Senator Bryant’s face offends me so much more than the t-shirt does.
Does the button at top right say “Blog from the backdoor?”
Hmm, based on the banner pic of Sen. Bryant, he is:
1. 134 feet tall
2. straddling the confederate flag that stands in front of the SC capitol in Columbia
Any chance that this guy is the spawn of Anita?
If South Carolina secedes from the United States, will we still call it the STATE house?
“THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN.”
Yes. I did buy that belt buckle at a garage sale in Bishop, CA last month.
And it will.
Tacky, snarky, yes, yes. Also funny. I wouldn’t wear it, but I would point and laugh at those who did.
From Kevinboy’s campaign site: “The Bryants attend Concord Community Church, a non-denominational New Testament fellowship, where Kevin serves as deacon and treasurer. In addition, Kevin commits one week each year to serve as activities director at Camp Hope, a Christian youth camp.”
I thought I recognized that chubby blond face…Kevin used to, well, it was years ago and Camp Hope had a different name back then, but let’s just say Kevin sure knew how to blow the jade flute real good. Growing up…his family ran the hog farm, my daddy had the milk stand down the road…Kevin liked to play doctor with some of us Boy Scouts in the church rec room.
p.s. He loved to dress up in white robes, just like his mentor Osamabama.
It’s a complete mystery to me why 1 out of 8 Americans still believe Barry is a Muslim. The wingnuts do not stoop to pandering to fear. Oh, wait…
He is clearly the love child of Howdy Doody and Bob’s Big Boy.
Oscar Folsom Cleveland: “In addition, Kevin commits one week each year to serve as activities director at Camp Hope, a Christian youth camp.”
Jesus H. Christ, could anything be more pederasty and creepy than that?
I, ______________________, have elected to run as a Republican senator in the state of __________________. By signing this contract, I guarantee that I will:
1) Start a blog, even though I have heretofore only used the Internet to download shirtless pictures of teenage boys on MySpace;
2) Post racist photographs linking major political figures to terrorists because it’s “funny”;
3) Wear rouge;
4) Accept a job as an “activities director” at a local Christian youth camp in order to facilitate easy access to the previously-mentioned teenage boys (including in hot, sweaty cabins; steamy shower rooms; and dark, leafy wooded areas);
5) Employ my own variation of the “Donald Trump Comb Over Method”;
6) “Mistake” my wife’s butthole for her vajayjay;
7) Vote for John McCain.
Signed this ______ day of ___________________ 20____.
Clearly this guy is Lindsey Graham’s lover
Deepthroat: Republicans do yard work? I thought they just hired Mexicans.
Oscar Folsom Cleveland: Grover Cleveland’s bastard son = best user name ever.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: True. But it *is* an army of South Carolinians. Couldn’t you just stage a Nascar race and defeat them while they’re all in one place shirtless and drunk on Bud Premium?
Thanks for all the laughs everyone, truly making my day at work easier.
Yes, American tax dollars at work.
ReelectTilden: Oh no, my dear colleague, ’tis “Reelect Tilden” what is best user name! Damn Florida, Louisiana, and South Carolina! Damn the Compromise of 1877! Huzzah, “Centennial Sam” Tilden!
kudzu: Some of them, like my relatives, get stuck there after they get tenure. But then they pick up southern accents and a taste for sweet tea and bitching about temperatures lower than 60 degrees. In my opinion, SC is like the Borg.
Elitist Republican Tard: “If South Carolina secedes from the United States, will we still call it the STATE house?”
Of course not, you godless carpetbagger. Then we’ll call it a church.
Oscar Folsom Cleveland: Indeed: why is it always Florida? Down with Rutherfraud Hayes!
The picture is down! HAHAH!
Fear not, ignorance always comes back! Looks like the senator’s blog handlers wanted to swipe a few comments off. Apparently dropping the F-bomb is more offensive than his tshirt…
I can sympathize; sometimes I get the feeling that some of these brain muffins don’t understand that the internet is ubiquitous and universal and that everything you post can be seen by everyone, even Obama luvin, fist bumpin, neo-muslim, pinko, NY liberal Jews…On the other hand, with all the Filipino boy porn this guy has undoubtedly down-loaded, I’d say he should know his way around the tubes by now…
God bless Wonkette: http://www.redlasso.com/ClipPlayer.aspx?id=839d8b7f-22b5-4dcf-89d2-e2030a7a102e
he looks like a man with a wide stance.
Snead: I know…mine got removed
The Democrat running against this guy is Marshall Meadors. You can donate to him at http://www.meadorsforstatesenate.org/donate.html. I met him at a recent event and he was a really nice guy. We should really step up to support him and kick this bonehead out of the SC Senate. In this same district, Jane Dyer is running for US Congress as the Dem opponent of Gresham Barrett and needs your support as well. Her website is janedyerforcongress.com.
From the state that brought us the Civil War and keeps on giving: the stupid crops are in. South Carolina had a banner harvest!!
Nico Pitney had a nice interview with him over at Huffington Post. It was able to capture the hemming and hawing, but not the flop sweat and head to table banging that he must have been engaged in.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/2008/07/profiles-in-class-kevin-l-bryant.html
Let’s note Dude’s slogan is “Blog From the Backbench.” Sidestepping the fact that U.S. legislatures don’t have backbenches, Dude’s not even mainstream SOUTH CAROLINA GOP. South Fucking Carolina. They started the Civil War, that’s how conservative they are. And Dude’s not even really welcome in THAT circle. Yikes.
Interesting thing I found on the Hill — here’s Senator Bryant’s cell phone and the number to his pharmacy…I tried to leave four comments on his website, but dontcha know, he doesn’t post the comments that are logical and liberal (I guess he doesn’t “speak” logic); this is how he maintains his constituents’ view that liberals are all as bad as his version of conservatives (rude, name-calling, immature and uniformed ignorants). Maybe reading is a sin down on the holler? Bigot. He is an outrage to the people of SC.
Kevin Bryant! Mobile: (864) 202-8394; or at Bryant Pharmacy and Supply in Anderson: (800) 256-8011 or (864) 224-6017.