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VICTORY!

U.S., Iraq Agree To Preliminary Possible Undefined Withdrawal ‘Time Horizon’ That Is Also Vague

Heh heh, I can playz golf soon enuff, heh hehNo timetables for leaving Iraq, declares our George W. Bush! The terrorists would dine out on a timetable! This is why we do not have a timetable for leaving Iraq, even though the Iraqi government wants one (although they have elections too and may be PANDERING to bums who will be killed upon withdrawal[!]). Today, however, “The United States and Iraq have agreed to set a ‘general time horizon’ for the ‘further reduction of U.S. combat forces in Iraq.’” Ooh, this is the ticket. It’s sort of like saying “nothing will change at all, and this crap should temporarily appease both of our stupid constituencies,” but with a different set and sequence of words. [NYT]


5:58 PM on Fri July 18 2008
By Jim Newell
913 Views

  1. moldilox says at 6:02 pm, July 18th, 2008

    WTF… if you say everything(at least once)does that mean you have some sort of legit position.

  2. magic titty says at 6:04 pm, July 18th, 2008

    Well, I’m satisfied.

  3. shortsshortsshorts says at 6:07 pm, July 18th, 2008

    Its one of those timeshare tricks.

  4. Delicious says at 6:19 pm, July 18th, 2008

    Time horizon? I was watching George Carlin’s last HBO special and he said our lives are all about avoiding bullshit. But there it is, right in front of me.

  5. Scarab says at 6:19 pm, July 18th, 2008

    It’s not really bovine waste when you use different words.

  6. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 6:21 pm, July 18th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: Do we get a free boat?

  7. tunamelt says at 6:21 pm, July 18th, 2008

    …and if you act now, you get a free super shammy with your withdrawal timetable!

  8. Advocatus_Diaboli says at 6:26 pm, July 18th, 2008

    Reacharounds for all! Yay!

  9. Vewol Mevemont says at 6:29 pm, July 18th, 2008

    I am the product of a botched withdrawal. You absolutely must set a time limit. “Time horizons” end poorly.

  10. ‘Time horizon’ for resumption of golf starting in 3…2…1…

  11. More_bitterer says at 6:36 pm, July 18th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: Time Horizon at Orlando, designed with Key West flair, is surrounded by the thrills of the world’s favorite vacation destinations. Spacious two-bedroom, two-bath villas have full kitchens, separate living and dining areas, screened balcony, and washer/dryer.

  12. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 6:39 pm, July 18th, 2008

    tunamelt: Is it the ShamWOW!?!?!?!?!?!

    Vewol Mevemont: LMAO… in that case wouldn’t your commander-in-chief prefer to be there for 100 years?

  13. Hm, maybe it’s like an ‘event horizon’, only not. Kind of a ‘non-event horizon’.

  14. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 6:47 pm, July 18th, 2008

    TGY: No, event horizon is correct. Except we forget that we’re looking at if from the wrong side, that is, the inside of the ::AHEM:: black hole, and thus we will never be able to escape. Yay!

  15. shortsshortsshorts says at 6:48 pm, July 18th, 2008

    NotUrEvryDayWEzl: More_bitterer:

    Be careful, it’s actually an all expenses-paid three day trip to Guantanamo.

    No boat, but definitely a washer (for waterboarding) and at least you get free Health care.

  16. InsidiousTuna says at 6:49 pm, July 18th, 2008

    Does this mean we’re winning?

  17. tunamelt says at 6:51 pm, July 18th, 2008

    InsidiousTuna: We were winning before we even started.

  18. anabellum says at 6:53 pm, July 18th, 2008

    im so glad that the surge worked…now our troops can finally withdraw to Afghanistan…

  19. V572625694 says at 6:53 pm, July 18th, 2008

    tunamelt: InsidiousTuna: If we don’t quit we can’t lose!

  20. tunamelt says at 6:58 pm, July 18th, 2008

    V572625694: The magic of science!

  21. shortsshortsshorts says at 7:03 pm, July 18th, 2008

    V572625694: Yes! Instead of “Mission Accomplished” it should have been “ENDLESS VICTORY!”

  22. WhatTheHeck says at 7:07 pm, July 18th, 2008

    If you ever take a picture of the setting sun sinking into the horizon, you have to set your camera lens ti “infinity.”
    George is looking at this horizon - the one set to infinity.
    You know, he’s a lot smarter that I gave him credit for.

  23. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 7:11 pm, July 18th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: Enduring Freedom –> Endless Victory –> Everlasting Salvation?

  24. tunamelt says at 7:15 pm, July 18th, 2008

    NotUrEvryDayWEzl: Jesus Saves! (and frequently makes back-ups?)

  25. Darehead says at 7:22 pm, July 18th, 2008

    George W Bush suffers from Temporal Horizigo, a specific type of dizziness, and a major symptom of a balance disorder. It is the sensation of the body as stationary, dull and numb with respect to the surrounding circumstances, which are spinning out of control and swaying all of the other people in sight.
    Temporal horizigo can cause nausea, delusions, and, in severe cases, it may give rise to difficulties with golfing and talking.

    M. Night Shyamalan is working on a movie about this condition.

  26. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 7:25 pm, July 18th, 2008

    tunamelt: The Holy Spirit is basically one giant flashdrive

  27. madirishman says at 7:33 pm, July 18th, 2008

    NotUrEvryDayWEzl: We are in the grip of a foreign policy so massively dense that even logic cannot escape its gravitic pull. Matter, energy, time, space, reason, sanity–all those terms are meaningless inside Dubya’s black hole.

  28. Fighting Bill says at 7:33 pm, July 18th, 2008

    McCain: Cuntry First.

  29. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 7:39 pm, July 18th, 2008

    madirishman: Is there any hope of Obama radiation slowly evaporating us out?

  30. tonashideska says at 7:39 pm, July 18th, 2008

    George Bush: Appeasement monkey

  31. Monsieur Grumpe says at 7:50 pm, July 18th, 2008

    Mission accomplished.

    Yay?

  32. S. Cullen Bonz says at 8:16 pm, July 18th, 2008

    “You don’t want to know where this hand has been”

  33. madirishman says at 8:31 pm, July 18th, 2008

    NotUrEvryDayWEzl: The Hillary Corollary says no, but the McCain Theorem shows promise–focus all the hot air in Washington into a single point, and blast our way out of Dubya’s black hole. Personally, I think the Beltway Echo Chamber would simply reflect the energy back to its source. Research is on-going.

  34. masterdebater says at 8:42 pm, July 18th, 2008

    I’m pretty sure he stole the name, or the idea, from Stephen Hawking. The President’s a big reader, you know.

  35. Wee Mousie says at 9:49 pm, July 18th, 2008

    A Time Horizon is what you see through your Window of Opportunity, before someone spreads Fuzzy Logic over your World of Pane.

  36. loquaciousmusic says at 9:54 pm, July 18th, 2008

    By the way, George W. Bush is such a DEFEATOCRAT WHO IS ALSO A TERRORIST!!!!!!

  37. Delicious says at 12:09 am, July 19th, 2008

    Didn’t Newell already post this? Oh, wait…shit…six more months, just around the corner, last throes…Glorious Neverending Victory!

  38. Darehead says at 1:10 am, July 19th, 2008

    “Possible Undefined Withdrawal”: Laura fell for that one, too. Result: twins.

  39. gurukalehuru says at 1:36 am, July 19th, 2008

    Like “eventually,” “at some point” or “whenever I get around to it.” Yeah, but the dishes are still in the damned sink.

  40. shortsshortsshorts says at 3:32 am, July 19th, 2008

    Delicious: Yeh! Friday is repeat day! That means 23 EXTRA weeks of Georgeypoo. Thank Gawd.

  41. regisgoat says at 7:13 am, July 19th, 2008

    This week on Time Horizon! Colonel Kronos, Ensign Jimmy and Ruffy arrive in Washington DC in 1881. Will they be able to prevent the assassination of President Garfield?

  42. RuperttheBear says at 10:18 am, July 19th, 2008

    The Time Horizon . . . it shows you. . . things.

  43. bitchincamaro says at 11:57 am, July 19th, 2008

    General Time Horizon, now and forevermore to be known as GTH. Done.

  44. sati demise says at 12:32 pm, July 19th, 2008

    well, well, well.

    Hopeys time line for withdrawl has just been approved by Maliki.

    Not that he is endorsing a candidate or anything.

  45. Time’s Horizon of the Year will feature a photo of Hillary mounting and pinning a flag on the surface of Obama’s black hole.

  46. wonk_the_heck says at 10:50 pm, July 19th, 2008

    psyche! we wiil just go on extended daylight savings time horizon, forever.

  47. S.Luggo says at 11:20 pm, July 19th, 2008

    Occupation Interruptus: GWB’s Southern Baptist equivalent of birth control.
    Pull out before you can be named as the daddy, rather than your driver al-Maliki.

    But I say this in a good way.

  48. S.Luggo says at 11:29 pm, July 19th, 2008

    “but with a different set and sequence of words.”
    Iran talk no. Fire good.

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