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COFFEE CHAT

Starbucks Denies Service To The Rich And Wounded!

The “A” location on this space satellite Google Maps image is 2101 L Street NW, the ONLY Starbucks that will be closed in Washington D.C. out of 600-ish closed ones nationwide. This is problematic for two reasons: (1) there is nary another bean shop anywhere near this rich, young-professionalized and textbook yuppie part of Northwest D.C. and (2) this was the Starbucks for HOSPITAL and WOUND CARE patients, as you can see. People get shot all the time with legal guns in this city and now they will have no Starbucks coffee! [Washington Post]


4:05 PM on Fri July 18 2008
By Jim Newell
871 Views

  1. Larry Fine says at 4:13 pm, July 18th, 2008

    Dunkin Doughnuts has good coffee, but you have to deal with towel-heads behind the counter.

  2. Preppy Bastard says at 4:17 pm, July 18th, 2008

    ‘Cept there is a Starbucks RIGHT INSIDE the GWU Hospital. Clearly this one was redundant (as about 7,200 locations are.)

  3. bitchincamaro says at 4:20 pm, July 18th, 2008

    Preppy Bastard: Starbuck’s IV drips?

  4. lumpenprole says at 4:20 pm, July 18th, 2008

    No civilized or prosperous first world human should have need to carry a thermos. My SIGG was only for show! Clearly, there’s no hope.

  5. jagorev says at 4:21 pm, July 18th, 2008

    I wish the Starbucks near me would close, because it is the worst Starbucks in the universe. Every single fricking time I go there, they either screw up my order or forget about it altogether. When I try to confirm that they gave me the right drink, the counter-person sasses me.

    Maybe if they closed, it would induce a real coffee shop like the MUD shop, hell, I’ll even take a Dunkin’ Donuts, to open in the neighborhood.

  6. American Spectator says at 4:21 pm, July 18th, 2008

    Maybe there’s something Obama can do for us. I stop there frequently. Does anyone on this connected blog have the number where Obama can be reached while he’s in the Middle East? I’m not sure where he’ll be EXACTLY, but I know it’s near, you know… the middle.

  7. JimNewell says at 4:23 pm, July 18th, 2008

    Preppy Bastard: HA HA, i was actually thinking how funny it would be if a commenter named, say, “Preppy Bastard” commented that there are indeed other starbucks at george washington u!

  8. shortsshortsshorts says at 4:31 pm, July 18th, 2008

    Starbucks employees have special button-pushing powers.

  9. WIDTAP says at 4:36 pm, July 18th, 2008

    I think you may be failing to see the bright side here.

    Less jittery hoodlums mean fewer gun rampages.

    So its all good.

  10. Jewdishoowary Square says at 4:52 pm, July 18th, 2008

    That’s a darn shame. A cold, frosty Frappucino feels great on second-degree burns.

  11. PoliticalGraffiti says at 4:56 pm, July 18th, 2008

    yeah because when you’re dying in a hospital, all you can think about it your soy, fat-free, mocha latte, machiatto

  12. SuperRounder says at 5:07 pm, July 18th, 2008

    That area has like 6 locations in the next few blocks. Tell the bitter yuppies to walk. Their granola crunching Obamatard asses love to exercise anyway.

  13. SuperRounder says at 5:12 pm, July 18th, 2008

    SuperRounder: Besides, isn’t there one nearby on K?

  14. pondscum says at 5:27 pm, July 18th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: So, you’re saying they are service monkeys?

  15. ivorydamsel says at 5:46 pm, July 18th, 2008

    Actually, there’s another Starbucks at the corner of 22nd and K—smack-dab in the middle between the Wound Care Center and GWU Hospital (which, incidentally, has its own Starbucks in the lobby-level cafeteria).

  16. shortsshortsshorts says at 5:46 pm, July 18th, 2008

    pondscum: Yes, but service monkeys with SPECIAL POWERS.

  17. yankabroad says at 6:02 pm, July 18th, 2008

    as a real live gwu prep, i can tell you that the closing of that starbucks couldn’t matter less. First, the one actually IN the hospital has better coffee (why starbucks differ is another matter) and also the one in the gwu library is open 24 hours a day which is just awesome because young preps need all the caffeine they can get.

  18. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 6:24 pm, July 18th, 2008

    Preppy Bastard: There is also one right down the street attached the the Gelman Library.

    yankabroad: way to steal my thunder. Then again, i guess you get precedence as a real live prepper and not a poser from gtown. :\

  19. Stealth Liberal says at 6:26 pm, July 18th, 2008

    I’m pretty certain that the only Starbucks in DC that should have closed is the “old” one on M Street in Georgetown (not the “new” one at 33rd[?], the one with the upstairs east of Wisconsin). Those assholes always get my order wrong by a lot. Example: tall non-fat decaf mocha. Result: venti soy caf latte. I was the only customer in the store at the time.

  20. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 6:41 pm, July 18th, 2008

    Stealth Liberal: Hey! My friend works there!

    … and is probably responsible.

  21. Stealth Liberal says at 6:48 pm, July 18th, 2008

    NotUrEvryDayWEzl: And the thing is, I don’t even think it’s a grudge mistake! I’m always polite, I leave tips, I don’t even talk on my cell phone!

    Also, it’s entirely possible that I know your friend. Surprisingly, though half the staff would probably fail fourth grade comp tests, I know the other half of the staff. It’s just that they’re never working when I’m there for some reason.

  22. hrhkingfriday says at 8:29 pm, July 18th, 2008

    People. That area is a BLACK HOLE. Nowhere near a metro. Half of the new office buildings there are empty or have empty floors, like the building this starbucks is under. Also, there is a Bruegger’s next door and an Illy around the corner.

  23. hrhkingfriday says at 8:33 pm, July 18th, 2008

    And, more importantly, the humane society is across the street. Maybe rename the post “Starbucks denies service to puppies”

  24. 1974 (again) says at 9:29 pm, July 18th, 2008

    This Starbucks is brand new. It opened within the last 12 months (maybe even less). It’s admittedly quiet there, but I that’s what makes it so nice.

    And yes, in addition the Starbucks inside GW Hospital. There is one at K and that Circle thing on the left (known to locals as George Washington Circle, but perhaps not known by the rest of you not so unlucky as to have to live in this city).

    Stealth Liberal: I can’t get any barista in DC to make the drinks the way that I’ve been ordering them for 10 years. I typically order a tall Americano in a grande cup with the remainder soy. This confuses the hell out them. The whole idea from ordering one size smaller in the next larger cup to what to do with that extra space. I have to walk them through each step.

  25. Lazy Media says at 9:40 pm, July 18th, 2008

    Mr. Speaker, if I could be recognized for a point of personal privilege, I would like to state for the record that Starbucks’ regular coffee tastes like burnt monkey ass (their espresso and the drinks made from it are fine). You shouldn’t roast coffee for auto-drip as dark as espresso beans, dimwits.

    The only chain with worse coffee is McDonalds, because they boil it at 1 million degrees, the better to scald old ladies with.

  26. shortsshortsshorts says at 10:59 pm, July 18th, 2008

    Starbucks sucks, by the way.

  27. DemmeFatale says at 2:30 pm, July 19th, 2008

    Lazy Media: True that. Here on the West coast, we also have Peets. Now I used to work in a coffee shop that roasted its own beans, and I know when corporations like Peets and Starbucks are passing off that burnt flavor to substitute for real body.(Probably because they’re using shitty beans.)
    Dunkin’ Doughnuts makes a great, non-elitist cup of coffee. Do you have them in DC?

  28. sanantonerose says at 2:34 pm, July 19th, 2008

    I think they should ALL close down since they took away my precious precious delicious delicious orange syrup. Orange mocha frapps. I lived for them. Now I only have bacon with which to soothe my withered soul.

  29. zhubajie says at 5:10 am, July 20th, 2008

    Are there no other joints serving coffee? Actually, this might be a job opportunity for unemployed Wonketteers, standing on the street corner with a French press and a couple cups, etc. Could be the apple-sellers of our own depression!

    Zhu Bajie

  30. wonk_the_heck says at 9:43 am, July 20th, 2008

    don’t panic, they are just closing the starbucks inside the starbucks at 21st and L.

  31. DemmeFatale says at 11:12 am, July 20th, 2008

    sanantonerose: mmm…bacon. Chocolate of the meat department.

  32. They’ll just have to bite the bullet.

  33. Mr-Clark says at 1:30 am, July 21st, 2008

    Jim Newell,

    There are three Starbucks within 1/2 to 3/4 blocks of where I live. I’ve already taken too mich Codeine Sulfate, Diazepam and Nyquil for them to be of any use this evening.

    Sincerely and respectfully,

    Mr-Clark

  34. Deepthroat says at 9:23 am, July 21st, 2008

    if i move back to DC, should i live in Arlington area or somewhere in the north east/west?

  35. thefrontpage says at 11:48 am, July 21st, 2008

    We should be hoping that Staroverpricedbucks is closing 6,000 stores, not just 600. There’s too many Starwasteofbucks, and their coffee tastes like crap.

    Just go to Dunkin’ Donuts–they have some good coffee. It’d be funny if Dunkin’ Donuts opened successful coffee shops at all of closed Startakeyourbucks locations.

  36. AnnieGetYourFun says at 3:28 pm, July 21st, 2008

    There are still bars in this neighborhood, yes? I can pack my own coffee, but they frown upon me bringing that many bottled of vodka on the plane. Can a local let me know if I should change my plans for a fall vacay in DC? Because I’m good with Hawaii, too.

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