Wonkette
- EVERYTHING ON EARTH IS ABOUT RACE: Wonkette boring luncheons operative “Beth” sends us this secret dispatch: “I just got back from a luncheon for Washington Gov. Chris Gregoire, headlined by Michelle Obama. Michelle said that her favorite chocolate in the world is Fran’s Chocolates — she said she and Barack fight over them, and hide them from each other. Then she said, ‘He likes the light chocolate, I prefer the dark chocolate.’ We all laughed, then thought, ‘Wait a minute…’” We assume the long awkward silence broke when some white reporter randomly shouted, “that Christopher Rock is the finest jokesmith I’ve seen — of either race! — since, golly, I don’t know when.”
Cute overload.
It was nice of her to throw Alan Keyes a bone, but she better realize guys like him go from flattered to stalker in nothing flat.
Pandering Alert!
No self-respecting Chicagoan would answer anything but Fannie May or Frango.
I have dibs on the gray and smoked salt caramels, Obamas!
And Jesse Jackson likes his chocolate plain, without nuts.
“he likes killing Americans with bio-chemical weapons, but I prefer conventional weapons. But we ALWAYS fight about who gets to kill the next sucker that drives his ass into my ghetto.”
i like my chocolate melted all over my naked body. oh wait, we are trying to make puns?
Priceless. Freud much, Michelle?
Michelle’s gonna loooove messin’ with Whitey when she’s first lady.
schvitzatura: That is some seriously expensive chocolate.
Does this still mean Larry Craig likes fudge?
for all you white guys that can’t manage chocolate girlfriends…
hahahahahahahahaha
you can’t imagine. you can’t. really…you can’t.
if they prefer two different kinds, why do they hide from each other? oh wait…
roundofapplause: word.
i love pauses like that…its the sound of folks chewing on their own foul tasting cud…
magic titty: no no no. he’s an anglophile and likes speckled dick
Garrett Morris: [ interrupting ] Well, I think I understand the problem with the tests. But the fact is that people have been saying that white people are smarter than black for hundreds of years. We’ve only had I.Q. tests for 20 or 30 years. How did the idea of white intellectual superiority originate?
Julian Bond: That’s an interesting point. My theory is that it’s based on the fact that light-skinned blacks are smarter than dark-skinned blacks.
Garrett Morris: [ not sure he heard that right ] Say what?
Julian Bond: I said I think it might have grown out of the observation that light-skinned blacks are smarter than dark-skinned blacks.
Garrett Morris: I don’t get it.
Julian Bond: It’s got nothing to do with having white blood. It’s just that descendants of the lighter-skinned African tribes are more intelligent than the descendants of the darker-skinned tribes. Everybody knows that.
Garrett Morris: This is the first time I’ve heard of it.
Julian Bond: Seriously? It was proven a long time ago.
Garrett Morris: Well, I still don’t quite understand. We’re out of time right now, but perhaps you could come back on the show again and explain it further.
Julian Bond: There’s very little to explain - it’s just like I told you.
Garrett Morris: Well, we are out of time. Good night. [ to Julian ] If you could repeat it just once more..
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/76rblackperspective.phtml
In all fairness, more than a few women I know have said their is nothing like having a nice, dark chocolate in your mouth.
The Imperiale Truffles sound right up Michelle’s alley:
“A lush, liquid center fills our decadent Dark Chocolate Imperiales, inviting you to fully immerse yourself in a pure chocolate experience.” http://www.franschocolates.com/home.php?cat=17
What’s this about darkness being decadent and pure? That’s not racial transcendence!!
Sorry, “there” not “their.” Yes, I passed the third grade.
anabellum:
are you still here?
PoliticalGraffiti: Hey, after what you just said, fuck the puns.
Just pass me the chocolate and the blow torch. Time for a par-tay!
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Once you go Barack, you never go back.
Barack Obama is people.
Carla likes the Crunchy Frog.
The reporter was from the Washington Times.
Borat: Or Toad-in-a-Hole.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: You mean the white chocolate. Not bitter.
shortsshortsshorts: This is not fake.
shortsshortsshorts: Yet, in some small way, aren’t we all?
Michelle, baby, I don’t care. I just want YOUR chocolate. You can pretend I’m divinity. White and nuts. And you’ll be right…oh, yes you will!
S.Luggo: tunamelt: Damn I meant it in the soylent green kindove way. My bad.
PeteJayhawk v2.0: Fannie Mae blows chunks. Teuscher, baby!
shortsshortsshorts: “soylent green”. Let me guess. You recycle islamo-terrorist falafel stand owmers before they may be Constitutionally tortured in Joe Lieberman’s Connecticut, multi-golf cart Humvee garage while Black Ops apply repeat viewings of “The Nanny”? You fucking, defeatist hippie, you.
I’m drunk. I love chocolate.
I prefer dark chocolate too. What does that say about me?
I like my chocolate just like I like my men: tied in sacks on the backs of enslaved African children.