Wonkette
With an astounding 2,000 signatures (that means every Rhode Islander signed this petition twice), supporters of Ralph Nader and Matt Gonzales will FORMALLY SUBMIT PAPERWORK today to get their candidates on the November 2008 election ballot in the Ocean State. According to a campaign announcement, freedom will now ring from West Warwick to Usquepaugh, from the Big Blue Bug off I-95 to Trustom Pond, and all will hoist a frothing mug of coffee milk to their new consumer advocate overlord.
EXCITING FILINGS
Ralph Nader Is President Of Rhode Island!
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11:52 AM
on Mon July 14 2008
By
Sara K. Smith
880 Views
Hey here we go, now Wonkette has the wisdom to attack someone who is actually IN the race! Great idea! That’s called learning. Good for you!
JeremiasX:
in the race for what? is it a corvair race?
what attack? wonkette supports mindlessness…sometimes. heck,
if not for nadair we’d all be suffering under al gore.
While the Paultards were trying to figure out how to get their freedom loving asses off the Hill this weekend, the Nader people actually got some shit done. Way to go, Paultards. Your presence only made us long for the days when your lot were locked in the basement at the mercy of your dungeon master (or Zed).
(Both) We’re off on the road to Rhode Island
We’re having the time of our lives.
(Matt) Take it Nads…
(Nader) We’re quite a pair of partners,
Just Like GW Bush and Cheney.
‘cept you’re not six feet tall
(Matt) Yes, and you don’t shoot Iraqis in the knees.
(Nader) But I helped in 00!
(Both) We’re off on the road to Rhode Island,
We’re certainly going in style.
It only takes 2,000 signatures for an independent candidate to get on the ballot in RI? Geeze, the party machines need to come in from the regatta and start locking out the rabble. Didn’t the John Anderson candidacy teach those people anything? Uh, not to mention Perot, Nader I and Nader II.
JeremiasX: Who died and made you hall monitor?
Mmmmm. Chicken…
Some guy outside the library a few weeks ago tried to get me to sign a Nader on the ballot in VA petition. I politely declined, and he started to harangue me. Not a real smooth diplomatic style there, moran.
bitchincamaro: I smell Paultardism, myself.
SayItWithWookies: Yeah, somebody oughta go around putting the names of Toby Keith, Rush Limbaugh, Billy Graham, whoever the latest NASCAR hero is, etc. on all the ballots everywhere. McCain might end up coming in 10th place.
Doglessliberal: I hate scolds. Must have been the nuns in my life.
I might have missed Wonkette’s announcement of this item, but Cynthia McKinney is now the Green Party nominee, and according to a sound bite from her on NPR, she is expecting the Green Party to take 5% of the vote. She named a “hip hop activist” as her running mate. I really cannot add anything to this item to increase the humor potential.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/07/13/politics/main4256466.shtml
bitchincamaro: and you know, verbally abusing me not a good way to make me change my mind! (had I been amenable to convincing, which I was not, but that is beside the point)
2,000 people live in Rhode Island? Wow, who knew?
Shows what you know, Coffee Milk is a delicacy served cold, and the big blue bug has a name… Nibbles Woodaway. Though I think we might be discussing changing it to Nibbles Nader. Boy do we love our buddy Ralph round these parts. Rhode Islanders might be the only population that votes for candidates purely on their adorableness. (See: Buddy Cianci http://www.projo.com/news/content/CIANCI_PARADE_07-03-08_AKANG2S_v58.3da71b3.html)
JeremiasX: Someone’s got a crush on glasses girl! Sorry pal, that’s not a Second Life avatar, you know, just the logo, and being mean to girls you like is SO second grade…
Wear your seat belt, or Ralph (googly-eyed) Nader (when he is President, not if) will fucking KILL YOU.
There are some seriously good looking women in Rhode Island, and over into New Bedford, MA. Descended from a mix of Portuguese whalers and Quakers, they know secrets of the erotic arts that make for “unsafe at any speed” sex.
Or so I’ve heard.
JeremiasX: Yeah, maybe now they’ll start directing their vile snarks (snarkism?) at Walnuts and the Muslim. Oh, wait….
If Ralf wants to gain the support of the citizens of RI, he needs to walk the walk and hoist a pint of Narragansett. A beer recently freed from the yoke of BIG brewing, reborn and once again giving the residents of the Ocean State brutal hangovers.
2goats: yeah, we are, after all, “capable of anything”!
And here I thought “chicken” was a chemical served on a bun, and “Rhode Island Red” was a pharmaceutical.
Of course, Ralph must get into this race!
Who else would you trust in power during America’s nadir years?
Don’t forget Block Island. I’m sure they scratched out a few signatures from them.
Doglessliberal: No doubt. Guess their little shin-dig this weekend puffed them up enough to troll again.
MARCdMan: I guess no snake bite deaths, either.
JeremiasX: Fuck you.
Oh, and you can keep your wretched coffee milk, Rhode Island. But give me a Del’s, dammit.
Congratulations Rhode Island, after having the pleasure of not voting for Matt Gonzalez at least three times here in SF, I can tell you to expect lots of fund raisers involving yoga, art openings, and poetry slams. All attended mainly by a bunch of Burning Man types and old hippies.
The end is nigh. Well, nigh-er.
I thought it was Ralph Nader and Rod Majors
Matt Gonzalez is kinda cute.
Wow, listen to teh crybabies go crazy! I was only trying to COMPLIMENT the Wonkette for moving on to a candidate who actually has a chance of taking a sliver of your precious Obama electorate. You know folks I’m actually not a bad guy..you can check out my blog sometime just google me. Meanwhile I find it HILARIOUS how worked up many people get on these comment boards! It’s not unexpected though, I deal with extremists ALL THE TIME in chat. LOL peace out…