Wonkette
- GOOD SWEET JESUS GOD: We’ve gotten a few million “HOT NAKED FLAPPERS” e-mails this afternoon, or at least a few dozen, for Paultardpalooza. Among the respondents were an elitist lawyer and a house of six interns! Ha ha, and they all consider Ron Paul to be comical. We will see you at 9:30 a.m. at the Tune Inn, but if things get a little overcrowded, we may move next door to the Hawk ‘n’ Dove, which opens at 10 a.m. If you’re a SLACKER and show up late to find that the Tune Inn is a Ghost Town, hopefully the kindly barkeep will let us post a sign on the door saying something like “FREE CHEESY MUFFINS NEXT DOOR –>.”
RUB IN TEH BITTRZ Y DO NOT YOU?
I’m there. What does the menu consist of?
Dammit. I really want to show up. Who are the interns? I’m an intern, too!
A house of six interns? Are we sure that’s not a reality show? Well, if i see a bunch of vapid blondes running around at least I’ll know I’ve found the right place.
::Note to the inters who are probably reading this:: You’re beautiful. Really! My friend’s Gary and William would love to meet you!
My fondest wishes on what promises to be the “Lost Weekend” of our time.
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: FUCK. *Friends. No apostrophe. There are two friends, whose names are Gary and William, not one friend who has appendages named Gary and William.
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: Aw, you make me feel pretty. But I’m a dude, 6′3″ 215, and I’m not that sure I’d like to meet your friends Gary and William.
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: Hey, I’m an intern!
phooey.
picture me this: the love child of one of the Paultard millions and one of the scads
of scurvy Wonketeers. spawned tomorrow, at midnight. surely something good can come of that?
all i can say is it won’t be my kid. i can’t make it there but i’ll make something here. cheers!
wonk_the_heck: It would be the Antichrist, I’m certain.
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: NotUrEveryDayMarkFoley
tunamelt: or a 2060 Prez nominee.
Probably both
InsidiousTuna:Oh, no, for you we’ve got Lawrence and David. Just remember to bring all your gear.
I’ll be thinking of y’all as I try on brightly colored shiny ruffled dresses.
OK, but be careful out there. You might have to earn that five bucks the hard way, because one Paultard has already encouraged his fellows to fuck ya all:
“You need to go to the march, find one of the Wonkettes and show ‘em the love in r3OVlution, if you know what I mean.
If you see a Paultard with a weapon in his hand, run!
If you see a Paultard with his dick in his hand, run harder and faster!
Even in a shitty economy, some things aren’t worth doing, five bucks or no.
And how do you know the threatener is a real Paultard? ‘Coz he can’t even reverse four letters:
“r3OVlution.”
WTF is “3OVL?”
Have a great time, people! I congratulate any site that thinks up an excuse for drinking at 9:30 am.
My suggestion: you all wear lots of blue band-aids on your arms to recognize each other, and then go to the Paultard be-in as “Self-Harmers 4 Ron Paul”. Tell people you will spend the day cutting yourselves for Ron Paul, and then will go home to listen to electro-acoustic rock and take down your MySpace profiles for, like, a week.
Wait- are Wonkettes the Jets or the Sharks in this rumble? I mean the Jets were obviously the good guys on account of their whiteness; but damn those sharks could dance!
Well Wonkette peoplz, have a nice weekend. Internet is going down now and as my avatar is defenseless without the series of tubes, TonytheTiger can finally pound me in the ass all weekend long.
AND U REARRY HAD MADES ME BITTRZ.
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: OH GOD NO PLEASE NO
Oh! Oh! Am I the elitist lawyer? I hope so, ’cause i totally responded with a “hot naked flappers” email from my firm account. Finally to be labeled as an elitist in a Wonkette shout out. Now I can officially retire as a bitter. I will be clinging to my guns, religon, and a cold Mickey’s if you need me….
by the by….is there any reason we should not be at the Tune Inn RIGHT NOW to make sure the taps are working for tomorrow morning?
What other activities are planned besides the bar breakfast? Will everyone bring cameras and take pictures of the Paultards? Other ideas would be interesting.
Another DC Lawyer (Again): YES YOU ARE (CAN)
Another DC Lawyer (Again): Are you also the six-intern house?
I can’t be in DC, they won’t let me in the country, but I’ll be smokin’ a fattie at 9:30 in your honour
Jim Newell: I’m guessing this is the six-intern house http://www.ywch.org/
Brutus Harlot: Wow, thats a pretty good deal. Room and board for $900 a month. Now if I just lived in D.C. … was a Christian … and a woman… I’d be packing my bags right now.
Jim Newell: Did Princess tell you of my love of bucket hats? He’s such a fruit, he should just come out of the closet, and quit pretending that anybody knows who he was anymore…
It sounds like fun in the abstract, but I’m thinking that the feeling at the actual event may be one of awkwardness…
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez:
1. A tasty bouillabaisse made from goat meat, e. coli imbued salsa and Mexican orphans, orphans caught at the Arizona border before they could steal honest, American vegetable-picking jobs from our illegal Hondurans.
2. Raspberry sherbet.
So….is it bad that I actually checked my frequent flyer miles this afternoon to see if I had enough for a last-minute flight?
Sadly, I didn’t.
Oh man, I am so pissed I’m missing this (just got home from going out last night).
Pictures. Take lots of pictures.
You mean, nobody is live blogging this thing?
Tony Snow has died. Don’t expect Russertpalooza.
@ WonkaBee: I thought he was pretty likable when he went on the Daily Show last year.
wheelie: Yeah, he was a good dude. 53 years old is too young to go.
WonkaBee: Thanks for saying, even though I thought it was a joke. It’s not.
Tony Snow was a lying piece of shit. It’s a sad commentary on our society, when such a great percentage of the people dying do not inspire mourning.
Well, I don’t wish his spirit or his family any harm. May they all be at peace. But I have to say I did not like the man. There was a dishonesty about him that made his folksiness and apparent friendliness all the more snaky. He tried to present himself as a neutral “I’m one of you guys in the Press” and a good guy, but he was always spinning partisan BS. Making things appear as they are not. All I ever picked up from him was fundamental dishonesty in a slick package. ehkh
Tony Snow denies reports that Tony Snow is dead. “We just have people reading something into a situation. You’re setting a false timetable. We’ve said all along that death isn’t an option.” Asked for comment, Mr. Snow’s predecessor Scott McClellan had this to say: “No comment.”
wheelie: OK, I watched the video. I wasn’t impressed. So, the basic channel of communication from the Presidency to the people is “sparring” and “pulling tricks on one another.” I’ll be very sad if an Obama press secretary ends up being more of the same.
Pelagius: That was actually quite good! Bravo/a for the ability to be clever this early! Thanks!
gurukalehuru: WonkaBee: Anger management people. It’s way too early to be this mad.
RIP and all, but . . . Tony Snow lied and obfuscated for the most corrupt administration ever, deliberately perpetuating lies that led to the deaths of thousands. Why do we have to pretend that never happened when we reflect back upon his career? Does cancer give him a free pass from judgment for that?
WonkaBee: What? No! All I wanted read about today was hobbits and drugs. And possibly butt secks. Now I have to ponder whether or not I feel bad about this? Sheee-it.
But seriously, when are we going to see a liveblog of the hobbits and drugs?
Tune Inn is filling up…Newell says take photos of Paultards on the metro…several sightings so far…the tri-corner hats are a giveaway…
itgetter: I’m sorry, itgetter. But on weekends it’s “last post gets all comments” since the head Wonketeers take the weekends off and hold parties the rest of can get bitter about missing. Hopefully the hobbits will share when they have recovered, but until then… Omnibus Snarking Bill!
and to graceless: sorry if I came across as angry. Not feeling all that angry, really, just sharing what I thought about the man and his dastardly job. I’m sorry that the poor guy and his family had to go through this ordeal. It was sad watching him decline.
i’m sitting in the office working & waiting for some live blog updates so i don’t go crazy please! i’ve already smoked 2 Js in your honor of you off the office balcony
…i don’t know but updates, photos, anything i can put on one screen so i can do boring work stuff on the other screen
Borat: damn, out of rizlas now, back in 15min…procrastination (but gives you a chance for the liveblog…)
Another DC Lawyer (Again): Huzzah! A live comment. Cmon all you drunkwonktards, lets get a live comment going.
Too early? I’ve hated Tony Snow from the 1st time I heard his name. It has to do with the team he decided to play for. As for anger management, well, this IS my anger management.
There is nothing about this Hundred Paultard march anywhere. I don’t think I’ve ever said this before,
but Thank You MSM!
Well, I just left PaulStock…hardy Wonketeers were holding on with some outstanding signage (Mad props to the “Big Sale on Truck Nutz” — IN ARABIC!– sign. That rocked).
Special shout out to Layne via Newell, who, seriously, PAID FOR ALL THE DRINKS at the Tune Inn. An outstanding gesture.
Bigger hobbit showing than I expected actually, there will be some fine photos coming from our intrepid photogs. A good mix of “9/11 truthers”, Elves with +20 cloaks of invisibility (we saw you Dennis!), Gold Standarders, and various hangers on. The also had a song. It went something like “Ron Paul, Constitution, Don’t Kill Babies, President Paul, Rah!” Or words to that effect.
A good time had by all.
Imagine that. Live a life where all you do is decieve people for a living, and they aren’t all mournful when you pass on.
I hope they have the correct video ready to go. http://www.break.com/index/dana_carvey_snl_gerald_ford_is_dead.html
Another DC Lawyer (Again): I hate you so much right now.
I managed to get totally fucked up by 9 o’clock last night and am dealing with some serious hangover issues. In regards to the truthers… Please punch them in the balls/ovaries. As a person who lived in Queens on 9/11 and watched the towers fall from my rooftop I get thoroughly exercised by those dipshits.
What were the reactions of the Paultards? Inquiring minds and such.
KevoTron: If it makes you feel any better I am now at work…
Paultard reaction was pretty “meh” mostly because given the sheer level of crazy, we looked relatively normal. Really, compared to some signs and groups, we looked like a Methodist knitting circle. The amazing part was what people we were willing to do to have their picture taken…there’s a teaser for the photos to come…
Another DC Lawyer (Again): Wow. I know how much I drink, and I think I’m a lightweight compared to many of the Wonketteers. If they picked up the tab for this party, blogging must pay better than I thought.
Another DC Lawyer (Again): The amazing part was what people we were willing to do to have their picture taken…
Dear gods, not on the order of “Hey Paultard, show us your tits!”, right?
Another DC Lawyer (Again): A lawyer working on Saturday? You must be a public defender. Any chance you know Richard Toth? He’s a public defender in DC (my uncle, been there for years.)
What people were willing to do??? Please tell me there aren’t any Paultard titties bouncing in upcoming threads (Paultards Gone Wild?) I just had a nice breakfast sandwich and I want it to exit the right way. Also, the barista in the coffee shop I’m sitting in is H-O-T and I prefer to think about her bouncing titties. Either hers or my girlfriends. Wait… BOTH.
Gopherit v2.0: damn. you’re quick.
KevoTron: Yes, but the Paultards Gone Wild was a very nice touch. My brain hurts now.
Gopherit v2.0: Nothing that shocking I’m afraid…more along the lines of “would you hold your Ron Paul sign upside down and let me take a picture of you? You would, excellent thanks!” Sad, actaully. There’s probably some sad commentary on the state of our “look at me” society in there somewhere…
Ok, Wonketeers, a mission for the rest of the weekend: It’s time to play “Paultard or Fringe Fest” around DC this weekend. As I write this, I’m sitting in the Starbucks in Chinatown, where a couple tables over has been a growing band of generally eccentric looking folks, mostly dressed in black with crazy makeup, tatoos, etc. There’s one guy w/ some sort of freight wig and white stage makeup, another portly looking fellow in shirt & tie w/ a giant wooden crucifix hanging around his neck and about a dozen other, erm, lets just say free spirits. I’ll try to surrepticiously snap a cell phone pic, if i can. Is anyone else experiencing this?
Trollop: Watch out. That could be Ken, Jim, and the gang.
The adult par for this part laud dual trap is an ultra pad to put lard and lap turd. That’s 7 paultard anagrams in one sentence.
1ofUS: “Lap turd?” Please, save such comments for the Tony Snow thread…