THE CHOSEN ONE  9:28 am July 11, 2008

by Sara K. Smith

BARACK OBAMA IS THE HOTTEST JEW SINCE ERIC BANA IN ‘MUNICH’: According to 1 percent of respondents to a Pew research poll, Barack Obama is not a fire-breathing Muslim or a wingnut Christian but in fact a nice Jewish boy, just like Sammy Davis Junior. [Pew Research Center via The Plank]

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Servo July 11, 2008 at 9:31 am

When do we get to see Michelle on Hebrew National hot dog commercials?

sanantonerose July 11, 2008 at 9:32 am

Hava nagila!

ManchuCandidate July 11, 2008 at 9:32 am

Oy Vey!

jagorev July 11, 2008 at 9:34 am

He really should have changed his name to Baruch about 20 years ago. He would have won Florida in a landslide.

bunnyhead July 11, 2008 at 9:35 am

oy vey

Noodle Salad July 11, 2008 at 9:35 am

Take that, Lieberman!

Jewdishoowary Square July 11, 2008 at 9:40 am

I for one would like to welcome Baruch O-baum to the tribe. See you on Friday night, Barry!

graceless July 11, 2008 at 9:41 am

[re=33730]sanantonerose[/re]: Thanks, rather have a tequila!

Sorry. My bad. I’ll get coffee now. Sorry.

Serolf Divad July 11, 2008 at 9:46 am

Baruch Obamenheim

Walter Sobchak July 11, 2008 at 9:49 am

He’s as Jewish as Tevia!

Jewdishoowary Square July 11, 2008 at 9:50 am

P.S. Barry’s search for a new church just got more complicated.

Doglessliberal July 11, 2008 at 9:52 am

lots of Jewish Muslim gay crackhead terrorists out there, but he’s ours. Our Hopeywitz.

Jewdishoowary Square July 11, 2008 at 9:52 am

P.P.S. Look for John McCain to try and compensate with a rousing performance of “Tradition” at the Heritage Foundation.

2goats July 11, 2008 at 9:53 am

So McCain becomes Panamanian to woo Latino voters, Barack throws crazy minister under bus, becomes Jewish. I don’t see it changing the outcome in November. All us Obamatards are going to have to learn to love Mogen David wines, but hey, I can do that. Only way I got through Thanksgiving at my first in-laws home.

Q2 July 11, 2008 at 9:53 am

What’s the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish Mother? Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

Nasara July 11, 2008 at 9:55 am

Clearly, these are the same idiots who think that the Jews run everything…now, of course, that theory makes sense, since they also seem to think that literally EVERYONE is Jewish.

TGY July 11, 2008 at 9:56 am

That Barry, whatta mensch.

Q2 July 11, 2008 at 9:57 am

Hey! Did you Wonkers hear about the new Japanese Jewish restaurant? SoSueMe.

Q2 July 11, 2008 at 9:58 am

When does it get really hot in a Jewish bedroom? When the air conditioner breaks down.

Servo July 11, 2008 at 10:00 am

He’s got Sammy Davis eyes?

Q2 July 11, 2008 at 10:03 am

[re=33752]Servo[/re]: Rooooooll you like you were dice!

scotterl July 11, 2008 at 10:04 am

HaHa nagila!

ForeignSickSpecialist July 11, 2008 at 10:04 am

Barack is a Hebrew name… Obama is an Arabic name… I guess he loves eating hummus after having circumcised sex through a hole in a sheet.

FMA July 11, 2008 at 10:05 am

[re=33752]Servo[/re]: Nope. He just has one of them. He keeps it in a box.

freakishlystrong July 11, 2008 at 10:15 am

He can schtup me anytime..

Monsieur Grumpe July 11, 2008 at 10:15 am

Christmas must be a very confusing time of year in the Obama household.

scotterl July 11, 2008 at 10:23 am

Off topic: Has anyone noticed that the Generation Kill ad to the left looks like they photoshoped a combat helmet onto a pic of Lou Reed from back in the 70′s?

ManchuCandidate July 11, 2008 at 10:24 am

[re=33760]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:
He just celebrates it all. It’s an Obama HanKwanRaMas. If he were not so religious then it would have been Festivus.

Jewdishoowary Square July 11, 2008 at 10:28 am

[re=33760]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Actually, not really. You know how many American Jews celebrate Christmas? Heck, lots of those who don’t still put up a festive “Hanukkah Bush”.

All this means is that Sasha and Malia have lucked into the same sweet two-gift-giving-holidays deal that I got growing up in a dual-faith family. Girls, remember to share your phat lewts with the other children.

Servo July 11, 2008 at 10:50 am

You! Shorty! Where’d you get all that jewelry?

AxmxZ July 11, 2008 at 10:55 am

Barack Obama? You mean that nice professor Barry from Hyde Park who lives across the street from the synagogue? He’s a mensch, that one.

Uru, uru achim!
Uru achim b’lev sameach!

bitchincamaro July 11, 2008 at 11:02 am

I knew an Italian plumber who could tell whether or not his customers were Jewish by looking in their kitchens– “Two-a sinks; mus’ be Joo.”

nbawriter July 11, 2008 at 11:36 am

Well … guess he doesn’t need a Veep with (Matzoh) balls, after all.

kudzu July 11, 2008 at 11:51 am

Isn’t he related to Ehud Barak?

Monsieur Grumpe July 11, 2008 at 12:52 pm

HanKwanRaMas sounds like just another war on Xmas. Does O-Really know about this?

gurukalehuru July 11, 2008 at 12:54 pm

Thus proving once again that there is no point of view so retarded that someone in America will not hold it.

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 11, 2008 at 1:23 pm

Well, Obama’s performance as Tevye in high school was transcendent.

However, in West Virginia and other bitter areas, being Jewish is probably worse than being Muslim. So I’m not sure if this helps anything.

ladymacbeth July 11, 2008 at 2:11 pm

eric bana was also pretty hot as a greek, a tudor, several americans and a hulk.

the fish thing? not so much.

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