Wonkette
This may come as a shock, but a prominent anti-homosexual Republican attorney general has apparently been caught having homosexual sex intercourse with his homosexual gay male assistant. Bonus: The dude’s wife caught him, in their bed. This is the rumor that the AG’s office has officially denied, so now of course everybody is spilling the sordid details.
AG in question is Troy King, who, of course, is only interested in outlawing homosexuality and sex toys. His gay lover is either a college “buddy,” or a very young youngster and “Homecoming King” from Troy University. What are the odds of a dude named Troy King getting caught in bed with a Homecoming King from Troy University? This seems like a wacky sitcom plot, on a gay porn channel. (Is this what that Will & Grace was about?)
Rumors Swirl On Possible Alabama AG Troy King Gay Sex Scandal, Possible Resignation [Fishbowl America]
If I’d a knowed that I’d a sent Troy King a Blow-Up Boar Hawg [Loretta Nall]
Alabama Attorney General Troy King Prepares to Resign? [Locust Fork Journal]
No way. This is unprecedented.
What really pisses me off is that THIS guy is nailing prime college jock ass and I’m not.
FLALABAMALOUS!!!!!!!!
Wait? A bed!? Not a truck stop or a bathroom stall? What a conservative.
NEED GAY JULY REFERENCE…
foofooly?
youly?
You’re doing it wrong!!!!!1!
Remember when things like this came as a shock?
Yeah, me neither.
Is this the start of Endless Cummer, Pt. 2?
when does something move beyond cliche into guarantee? He is 1) against homosexual gay sex, 2) Republican 3) married, thus he is 4) gay and 5) will be caught at it. Add 6) he will repent and ask God to make him a non-homosexual gay man and everything will be fine.
And his name is Troy.
OH MY GOD GAY GAY GAY GAAAAAAAAAAY!
And the Loretta Nall send-up of “Take It On the Run” is pure bonafide genius.
Who could look at a face like that and not know he was gay?
Hot-Diggity-Dawg! Ain’t nothin finah than ass-fukkin in ‘Bama. Go Tide! Teh Wonkette can haz “ride” this 1 all the way til the ‘lectshun
AND 7) look at his picture!
He should probably ask Spitzer if he can wear the McGreevy tie for the requisite press conference.
During the 2005 legislative session, King made headlines by wearing an electronic monitoring bracelet of the kind used by parolees and others under judicial monitoring. King promised to wear the bracelet until the legislature passed tougher monitoring laws for parolees and convicted sex offenders, and removed it when such laws were passed.
He was just ACTING, people!!!!
And bless her heart, but Troy’s wife really should have asked him for fashion advice before making her dress out of the living room drapes.
Guppy06: Total gayface.
HELLO, GAYFACE!!!
I googled Troy King and one of the first entries was a listing for one Troy King, classical guitarist, with a note from my virus/spyware that the site may damage my computer. [true]
So watch out for Troy King viruses.
Especially if you’re a homecoming king.
Oh stop it Ken.
You’ve got to be making this shit up.
I mean, what are the odds?
Doglessliberal: Has anyone met a hetro named Troy?
HomoPolitico: First you get de sugar, then you get de power, then you get de … homecoming kings.
SCREW-LIEshortsshortsshorts:
“SCREW-LIE” (Scruly?)
It’s a RED, WHITE, and BLEW season for TWO (men).
Harvey Birdman: And his wife has “beard” written all over her.
2goats: if they have, they were wrong. Even Troy McClure on the Simpsons is clearly gay.
Anytime another dude is sitting next to me and arguing that “MARRIAGEZ IZ DEFINITIONED BETWEEN TEH MENZ AND TEH WOMENZ” I move a few feet away expecting an ass grab or reacharound.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Job qualifications for GOP beard wife do not include fashion sense.
2goats: Troy McClure: “Gay? I wish! If I were gay they’d be no problem! No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost.”
Doglessliberal:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Troymcclure.png
The only way this could be better is if they were having butt sex using a confederate flag condom.
I guess he was already in hot water and figured he may as well add some bubble bath…
Doglessliberal: He wishes! Come on, he had a fish fetish, everyone knows that.
According to Troy King’s Wiki entry (”entry,” tee hee), he’s got 3 actual kids, not kids he married into like Larry Craig, so he’s evidently deep in the closet.
Carrie_Okie: Yes!
Screw-lie! WIN WIN WIN!
I slipped on a banana peel and my dick got stuck in his ass.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Oh yeah, that story about the gay governor is wild.
I am sure this is happened to his wife before. Look at her!!!! She screams I took a gay gay to prom.
SuperRounder: A condom? What kind of freaky hippie libtard Demonrat do you take him for??
Is it true that when you enroll in Troy University, they give you a free copy of “Liza’a Greatest Hits.”
Did Twoy fall in love with his “assistant” because of his “ruddy-hued, upward-pointing shaft, its swollen veins and cap-like tip”?
bmannes: oh dear. He is more feminine than she.
Troyking makes a fun verb. Troyking out?
Delicious: I Know What You Did Last Cummer.
Dave J.: turkey baster. no way he did it the old-fashioned way with her unless he is really, really good at fantasizing
When buttsecks is outlawed, only outlaws will be having buttsecks. And that makes it like 20x hotter.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Good God, what self-respecting gay man would let his wife out of the house looking like that? THAT is his true shame.
we really just need to print t-shirts and hand them out
“Another closeted gay republican anti-gay crusader in make-me-straight rehab”
I wonder what the assistant did after he was at home-cumming?
Delicious: It is now!
Lone Star Buck: Did she kick him out because he was cheating, or because he wouldn’t let her join in?
There goes his shot at playing Pat Sajak in the upcoming biopic.
Dave J.: The closet’s not the only thing he’s deep into.
Sorry. Had to be done.
He’d thought he’d counterbalance his gayness with a fugly tie. Foiled!
StrangelyBrown: Do you have any idea how pissed off I was when the SCOTUS made the dirtydirtybuttsecks legal?
Let’s be fair. Everyone’s entitled to a little sweet Dick-sie Land Delight.
Suggestion: henceforth, whenever a closeted GOPerv who rails against teh gayz gets busted for doing the nasty with a same-sexer, we say he was “troyking.”
i.e.
Q: “What did Senator Dick Inmouth get arrested for?”
A: “He was caught troyking.”
A living legacy left by an estimable hypocritical asshole.
Like “Santorum,” only marginally less puke-inducing.
thank you thank you, Ken for this. This day needed this story. Too much jaw-dropping, yet not really surprising, shit from the White House, so we needed a little closeted-gay-hypocrite leavening. Early Cummer Delights begin!
His middle name is Robin.
Case closed.
Doglessliberal: “what self-respecting gay man would let his wife out of the house looking like that?” See the question includes the answer. Self hate apparently adds piquancy for the GOPers. Plus they get off on denying their beards comfort of sex toys and/or fashion advice.
Doglessliberal: I can’t WAIT to see what she wears for the humiliating public “apology/denial”…
Carrie_Okie: Bravo! Red, White, and Blew: the GOP, summed up perfectly.
That is sooooooooo hot! Although I’ve never been busted by the wife before. It would be pretty interesting, to say the least.
shortsshortsshorts: Gay-lie
What, no Goat? Not in the restroom at a church picnic? What about Saran Wrap? Silly Putty? Trained lizards?
This guy is not trying hard enough AT ALL.
Quacker: C’mon man, it’s ROLL TIDE! As in: ROLL over, and prepare for the TIDE.
Loretta Nall is AWESOME!!!
@queeraselvis v 2.0, agreed: the REO speedwagon reference is inspired. who is this woman???
also, we all agree all Troys are gay, can we also agree they all are bottoms? at least this one is…..
Ken, you’re getting lazy. Same story every time — Christian, family-man, elected Republican, anti-gay, anti-porn gets caught doing that gay sex thing. When you want the afternoon off, you just copy and paste the story, change the name, photo-shop in matching head/ perp-walk wife set, and Presto! you’re out the door early on a sunny day. (Trying to figure out how I can make this shtick work for me.)
King was an early supporter of the 2008 presidential campaign of Arizona Senator John McCain. King’s name had been mentioned as a possible gubernatorial candidate in 2010, but we suppose that’s out now…
“He was appointed by Governor Bob Riley in 2004, when William Pryor resigned to accept a federal judgeship on an appointment from President George W. Bushy.” Locust Fork Journal
A bed? That’s oddly conservative of him… were all the neighborhood truck stop bathroom stalls taken?
Whoops! To find the above quote in a news story is just TOO much….
Canuckledragger: What we really need is to be proactive about this and start compiling a “Gay Watch List” of homophobic and/or anti-sex politicians whose outings are only a matter of time. Maybe a take a cue from the DOD and produce a deck of playing cards with pictures of Charlie Crist and Mitt Romney and the like.
>>Good God, what self-respecting gay man would let his wife out of the house looking like that? THAT is his true shame.<<
I’m not sure that one can be topped! If I laugh anymore today I’m gonna have to go to the hospital.
As Kurt told us:
“What else should I be
All apologies
What else could I say
Everyone is gay”
What are the odds of a dude named Troy King getting caught in bed with a Homecoming King from Troy University? in alabama, i’d say about one in three …
Walter Sobchak:
Just call me “Deacon Blues.” Correction noted ;-0
freakishlystrong: Something like this sporty outfit, I’d wager.
Guppy06: “he wouldn’t let her join in” Would that be a Troyka?
LorettaNall: I have a cramp from stifling guffaws.
Casse-toi pauvre con: “Elitist” would be the term, perhaps.
freakishlystrong: Sorry. Dammit. THIS sporty outfit.
And welcome Loretta! Are you any kin to Modine Gunch of New Orleans Magazine fame?
And I think they were watching the movie “Troy” while they were doing it!!
srsly?: “…he has three children; Briggs, Colden, and Asher.”
Canuckledragger: Troyking is accepted but remember is closley related to the verb Craigtap.
Dan Savage is peeing himself with glee.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Thanks, I hadn’t peed myself yet…
villageatrois: Pair-of-Troys-ka?
queeraselvis v 2.0: Nah you had it the first time and I’m still laughing, in shame of course…poor kid..
sleepy: they are doomed to be gay
(and duh, I meant of course not doomed to be gay, but because they will be closeted, like Dad)
Oh fuck yes. Speaking as an Alabama native and a Georgia resident, this is so…RIGHT.
Doglessliberal: You forget the press conference where his steel-jawed wife stands beside him.
If there’s no wet suit involved, it’s just boring.
Here’s a picture of Troy with some guy from Alabama who is probably Saddam Hussein’s cousin.
The lavender tie, in hindsight, was his desperate plea for help.
This just in; troy King transferred to South Carolina, and as everyone knows, that is the new gay!
Doglessliberal: right, and let me likewise clarify — that he named his kids asher, briggs, and colden (and not, say, adam, ben, and chuck (though, i can’t even tell if they’re grrlz or what)) only confirms that he (and not so much his poor chillens) is, obviously, a total gay-wad.
sleepy: WTF kind of name is “colden”? and WTF with the alphabetical order? moran.
Anita Cocktail: nothing about her is steely. Dough-jawed.
Dave J.: he was crying out to be caught
sleepy: That’s like naming your kids Facial, Cockring and Assfuck.
sleepy: Oh, yeah, big time. And at least he could have gotten a hot beard like Mike Piazza or Charlie Crist
villageatrois: What makes this story different is that Troy Robin King was having illicit buttsecks with his first cousin, Homecoming King.
Anita Cocktail: their next (hypothetical? adopted?) kid, obv, would’ve been named dick.
He must have gotten tired of rolling her in flour to find the wet spot.
queeraselvis v 2.0 : Thanks for the welcome…and to my knowledge I am not related to Modine Gunch.
Glad y’all liked my rendition of “Take it on the Run”
I liked my version of Bobby Brown by Frank Zappa better myself
Be sure and click on the parody song link as it is another doosie about gay baptist preachers who die of auto erotic asphyxiation while their wives are on vacation and about King Troy’s ragin’ moralistic hard-on against all things pleasurable. Not to be missed!
Y’all are being awful mean about poor Paige’s dress, but be fair…ain’t nothin’ in the world gonna make that woman look thin.
Briggs, Colden and Asher. I don’t know if homosexuality is hereditary, but I’d say those kids are definitely playing against a stacked deck.
Geez Luoise…this hasn’t happened for a whole week now.
It’s all the rage right now in the South to name your kids after historic (i.e. early 1990s) Laura Ashley patterns. Especially if you’re gayer than a handbag full of rainbows.
I’m starting to believe the whole Iraq fuck up was just a head fake so that Bush and Rove could implement the gay agenda. I mean, Roberts? Come on! In five years that dude is banning government licensing of hetero marriage. And the majority opinion will be read with whistle and strobe light accompaniment. And Cher.