Advertising Inquiries:
wonkette@blogads.com
Tip Your Wonkette:
tips@wonkette.com
Editors:
Ken Layne | Email
Jim Newell | Email
Sara K. Smith | Email
Juli Weiner | Email
Intern:
Riley Waggaman
GIMME GIMME GIMME: Here is an appropriately rat-sized “McCain Party Box,” one of the various cash crops that will be sold (for money!) at the upcoming Republican National Convention. What, pray tell, cums inside a McCain Party Box? [Sigh]. It will probably just be toffee or some other old man candy. [Star-Tribune]
1:56 PM
on Mon July 7 2008
By
Jim Newell
1031 Views
Wonkette
Cougar pills!
Dude, obvs it’s viagra.
At least, viagra is the only old man candy I can think of offhand.
Shhhhh - it’s peyote. This will be the best rat-fuck of all time!
Here’s yer g** d*** “Happy Meal”, trollope.
Cialis, Vicodin and a couple of vodka miniatures. A fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
Werther’s Originals, Buttermints, dentures, Depends, Metamucil, a colostomy bag, WALNUTS!, a rhinestone glove for “pimp slapping cunts,” a bottle of Viagra, liver spot cream, Rogain, a toothpick, a wheat penny, tiger balm, and powdered rhino horn for vitality.
Enjoy!
Here ya go, America! Have a party!
Ancient cough drops without wrappers and an unidentified pill.
Be careful, there’s nose candy in there!
I’d love to cum inside Cougar McCains party box. Well, not really, but I figured it needed to be said.
But seriously, I assume uppers for the missus.
Its a snuff-box.
Viva, Viagra, am I the only one creeped out by that commercial?
…those would be the balloons for angioplasty? All saying ‘Vote McCain’? Either that or the world’s smallest condoms for a ‘little fuck’.
Quaaludes, condoms, and untraceable bearer bonds.
It’s a lubed condom and a Handi-Wipe — or, for the real McCain fans, a dollop of Preparation-H.
its ribbon candy…maybe they can gum it
As long as the party boxes are DEA approved, then I’m all for them.
Also, AHahahaha, “John McCain: A Party of One”
MathewBrooks: Correction, a solid lump of ribbon candy originally purchased in 1963 by McCain’s mother.
I hope its a box of condoms. If those fuckers wont abort they better stop shitting children out for the welfare system.
As long as it’s sugarfree.
“Whether they’re peddling $18 stuffed toy elephants that giggle when squeezed…..”
Wonder if it also says “Don’t tell your mom about this, it’s our special secret.”
I thought a McCain Party Box was a Lobbyist named Vicki Iseman.
Assorted Vicki Iseman body parts.
its the McCain ‘true to life’ dildo…..meticulously reproduced in in specially aged vanilla flavored gelatin…if you want it to stay hard…keep it in the freezer…
ManchuCandidate: Jinx. Shee-it!
Red, white and blue suppositories with a hint of American Values scent.
If you gave Jessee Helms an enema, you could bury him in one of these.
ManchuCandidate: hat tip.
A misprint, obvs: “McCain 2008: Potty Box”
It’s just the right size for my GOP Barbie®!
Roofies, Viagra, and Preparation H.
Yay! Everyone’s getting an onion to wear on their belt! Of course, it’s the big yellow ones, on account of the war.
Will it come with a nice guide to Minneapolis Tearooms and Glory Holes?
The heart and soul of the GOP, with room enough left over for some JewJewBees…
…geez, is it suppose to be a Republican convention or a fukkin swap shop?!
ForeignSickSpecialist: Don’t forget the Ensure!
btw, Gotta think that Wally would support some form of birth control. He’s talking about doubling the child tax exemption to 7Gs. (though, I’m sure he’ll change his mind later.)
cyanide pill?
Maybe: Viagra, Ecstasy, B-12, Astroglide single serv, and condoms.
More likely: Centrum Silver, Ex Lax, and Doans pills. And the box makes a dandy coin purse.
The party box isn’t big enough to hold supplies for a victory party.
GOP must be planning on a second place, thanks for trying kind of party.
It’s a case for the violin that he plays for America’s new repossessed home owners.
One wooden nickel.
ForeignSickSpecialist: Bravo!!
At first glance, it appears empty- until the lucky RNC member discovers that it’s filled with an actual John McCain Old Man Fart™! That’s change I can breathe in!
sanantonerose: Oh, WIN!
Ain’t no party like a comically tiny John McCain party. w00t!
A purple microdot. You’ll need it if he’s elected.
If it’s candy that old men give, it’s got to have Wurther’s
I hope it’s filled with gum drops. That would be a party box my great grandma would believe in.
thank god the fingers are in the photo to help us know the actual size.
I’m shocked and disappointed with all this drugs talk. You should know better than that. Shame on you Wonketeers. Things republicans oppose in public (but enjoy in private) are off limits. Now something worth talkin about, oh yeah, mmmmmm
Well, it’s either McNutjob’s health-care plan or some sort of golf tool.
lube and a shot of red bull.
amyl nitrate and a glossary of men’s room hand gestures
Bullets. Duh.
Applesauce