toys for children

GIMME GIMME GIMME: Here is an appropriately rat-sized “McCain Party Box,” one of the various cash crops that will be sold (for money!) at the upcoming Republican National Convention. What, pray tell, cums inside a McCain Party Box? [Sigh]. It will probably just be toffee or some other old man candy. [Star-Tribune]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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56 comments

  1. FMA

    Cialis, Vicodin and a couple of vodka miniatures. A fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

  2. ForeignSickSpecialist

    Werther’s Originals, Buttermints, dentures, Depends, Metamucil, a colostomy bag, WALNUTS!, a rhinestone glove for “pimp slapping cunts,” a bottle of Viagra, liver spot cream, Rogain, a toothpick, a wheat penny, tiger balm, and powdered rhino horn for vitality.

    Enjoy!

  3. scott_dog

    I’d love to cum inside Cougar McCains party box. Well, not really, but I figured it needed to be said.

    But seriously, I assume uppers for the missus.

  4. TGY

    …those would be the balloons for angioplasty? All saying ‘Vote McCain’? Either that or the world’s smallest condoms for a ‘little fuck’.

  5. SayItWithWookies

    It’s a lubed condom and a Handi-Wipe — or, for the real McCain fans, a dollop of Preparation-H.

  6. Lazy Media

    [re=30444]MathewBrooks[/re]: Correction, a solid lump of ribbon candy originally purchased in 1963 by McCain’s mother.

  7. shortsshortsshorts

    I hope its a box of condoms. If those fuckers wont abort they better stop shitting children out for the welfare system.

  8. Rev. Peter Lemonjello

    “Whether they’re peddling $18 stuffed toy elephants that giggle when squeezed…..”

    Wonder if it also says “Don’t tell your mom about this, it’s our special secret.”

  9. anabellum

    its the McCain ‘true to life’ dildo…..meticulously reproduced in in specially aged vanilla flavored gelatin…if you want it to stay hard…keep it in the freezer…

  10. Advocatus_Diaboli

    Yay! Everyone’s getting an onion to wear on their belt! Of course, it’s the big yellow ones, on account of the war.

  11. freakishlystrong

    The heart and soul of the GOP, with room enough left over for some JewJewBees…

  12. MoodProcessor

    [re=30433]ForeignSickSpecialist[/re]: Don’t forget the Ensure!

    btw, Gotta think that Wally would support some form of birth control. He’s talking about doubling the child tax exemption to 7Gs. (though, I’m sure he’ll change his mind later.)

  13. RobPetrified

    Maybe: Viagra, Ecstasy, B-12, Astroglide single serv, and condoms.
    More likely: Centrum Silver, Ex Lax, and Doans pills. And the box makes a dandy coin purse.

  14. PrairiePossum

    The party box isn’t big enough to hold supplies for a victory party.

    GOP must be planning on a second place, thanks for trying kind of party.

  15. wheelie

    It’s a case for the violin that he plays for America’s new repossessed home owners.

  16. jimh

    At first glance, it appears empty- until the lucky RNC member discovers that it’s filled with an actual John McCain Old Man Fart™! That’s change I can breathe in!

  17. StupidGeek

    I hope it’s filled with gum drops. That would be a party box my great grandma would believe in.

  18. Borat

    thank god the fingers are in the photo to help us know the actual size.

    I’m shocked and disappointed with all this drugs talk. You should know better than that. Shame on you Wonketeers. Things republicans oppose in public (but enjoy in private) are off limits. Now something worth talkin about, oh yeah, mmmmmm

  19. bitchincamaro

    Well, it’s either McNutjob’s health-care plan or some sort of golf tool.

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