ONE WHORE DIAMOND  5:39 pm July 2, 2008

by Ken Layne


Hola wonkerados.

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AngryBlakGuy July 2, 2008 at 5:44 pm

…what were her rates?

tunamelt July 2, 2008 at 5:49 pm

How many diamonds was she worth?

SayItWithWookies July 2, 2008 at 5:53 pm

And no charges for Mr. Innocent John, natch. That bridge to the fourteenth century is coming along nicely.

AngryBlakGuy July 2, 2008 at 5:54 pm

…and by the way that “Slim Slack” girl in the purple jeans has been throwing my snark off all damn day!

anabellum July 2, 2008 at 5:55 pm

[re=28885]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: a hundred bucks for sex…and an extra fifty so she wouldnt spit on him afterwards…

shortsshortsshorts July 2, 2008 at 5:55 pm

She’s friend on the MySpace. I think I only have MySpace for when Whores come out of the wash.

Combover July 2, 2008 at 5:58 pm

If you can’t handle me at my wurst then you can’t handle my wurst at all!!

Delicious July 2, 2008 at 6:01 pm

$150 for 15 minutes? No Michigan whore is worth that.

anabellum July 2, 2008 at 6:04 pm

[re=28893]SayItWithWookies[/re]: exactly…shes looking at 90 days….but on the bright side maybe she can turn this little ‘bump in the road’ into a shot at a place on next seasons American Idol…im sure sings just fine…

S.Luggo July 2, 2008 at 6:05 pm

She looks like one of the Lohans. Hence the start of her troubles. Mug shot:

greatgooglymoogly July 2, 2008 at 6:16 pm

[re=28895]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Yes! Yes! My God, I’ve been looking at her all day! What is wrong with me?

Rusty Shackleford July 2, 2008 at 6:16 pm

She’s facing 90 days for Trespassing?! How can it be trespassing if she paid for the hotel room? At the most, she should be facing a day or two in the county lockup, and a few hours of community service, especially for a first offense. But 90 days?! WTF?!

[re=28895]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Word! She looks like she’s 14, and I haven’t been able to take my eyes off her sweet, round purple ass all day long! Is that wrong?

shortsshortsshorts July 2, 2008 at 6:16 pm

From her MySpace:

“Dont hate me untill i give you a reason to… Dont judge me untill know the whole story


villageatrois July 2, 2008 at 6:18 pm

[re=28901]Delicious[/re]: “$150 for 15 minutes?” The higher priced ones have been to law school.

pondscum July 2, 2008 at 6:23 pm

[re=28910]Rusty Shackleford[/re]: and why isn’t he being charged with anything. I don’t get this…

WhatTheHeck July 2, 2008 at 6:33 pm

[re=28893]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=28903]anabellum[/re]: It has a lot to do with the fact that prostitution
laws are written by men, so the men get to walk away with their pants on and a slap on the wrist.

As for mr. whoremaniser, he was already at home spending more time with the family.
Now he’ll be spending more time at work – alone.

EternalVigilance July 2, 2008 at 6:35 pm

What is it with Democrats and their uncontrollable heterosexual urges?

Joey Ratz July 2, 2008 at 6:38 pm

Trespassing? 90 days? No charges asgainst the john? This makes no sense whatsoever.

problemwithcaring July 2, 2008 at 6:42 pm

[re=28885]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: [re=28889]tunamelt[/re]: Yea, this Wonkette’s sexism is pretty glaring…

anabellum July 2, 2008 at 6:48 pm

[re=28910]Rusty Shackleford[/re]: [re=28918]pondscum[/re]: its just par for the course….the girl gets charged…the guy walks…happens all the time…….

but i did check, and Michigan law has exactly the same fines/penalties for both parties involved…

it appears the girls plea bargain did little for her…90 days for trespassing vs a possible 93 days for prostitution [although third offense for prostitution is a felony, and i presume its a good thing to keep it off your record]…

of interest is that there is no way they could have charged the girl without fat-ass admitting to paying her….

still he gets to walk…nice huh?…

Mahousu July 2, 2008 at 6:49 pm

I did not realize there was a law against having sex with Senators’ husbands. That might explain why Paul Pelosi always looks so grumpy. (I’m not even going to mention Bill C.)

anabellum July 2, 2008 at 6:51 pm

[re=28929]WhatTheHeck[/re]: in this case the penalties are the same under the law…see my comment above..

shortsshortsshorts July 2, 2008 at 6:59 pm

[re=28934]problemwithcaring[/re]: I have INSIDER INFORMATION that tunamelt does not in fact, have a penis, and AngryBlakGuy’s penis makes up most of the dark matter in the universe. Luckily I do not know this from personal experience.

However, if a woman is caught to be a victim of LUST, then she shall receive her just punishment and be labeled a witch.

tunamelt July 2, 2008 at 7:00 pm

Actually, can someone please explain to me why the Washington Post website has links to stories from the Onion website?

tunamelt July 2, 2008 at 7:02 pm

[re=28946]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I do in fact have a penis. In a jar. And I also advocate throwing witches (read: women) into large pools of water. If they drown, they were innocent and we pray for their souls. If they float, they are in fact witches, and must be burned.

Fighting Bill July 2, 2008 at 7:11 pm

You want the truth? BELEIVE me, you can’t Handel the truth, wut!

jagorev July 2, 2008 at 7:28 pm

[re=28947]tunamelt[/re]: The Washington Post company publishes the Onion’s print version. It’s a synergistic, vertically integrated marketing partnership!!!

Texan Bulldoggette July 2, 2008 at 7:46 pm

Uhhmmm….kind of mean, I know, but look at Miz Stabenow. She is on the butt end of ugly; can’t blame poor Mr. “I Buy Hookers” Stabenow for straying from the farm.

weirdiowasculpture July 2, 2008 at 7:52 pm

I’d like to get into a synergistic, vertically integrated partnership with that Slim Shack chick, if you know what I mean.

weirdiowasculpture July 2, 2008 at 7:54 pm

[re=28964]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Personally, of the three of them, I’d rather do the dog.

shortsshortsshorts July 2, 2008 at 7:54 pm

[re=28958]jagorev[/re]: The Onion is also where the Post sources most of its articles. Anytime they say “sources” they are reviewing to The Onion.

tunamelt July 2, 2008 at 8:03 pm

[re=28958]jagorev[/re]: That’s one of those things that should make me laugh but instead makes me sad.

shortsshortsshorts July 2, 2008 at 8:04 pm

[re=28967]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: *referring* to the Onion

I tippe vewy swell.

Texan Bulldoggette July 2, 2008 at 8:06 pm

[re=28966]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: Yeah, me too. Sad….Miz Stabenow reminds me of a girl’s high school/college basketball coach who got married just so people would quit thinking she’s peeping into the girl’s locker room showers.

tsunami July 2, 2008 at 8:20 pm

sorry, i saw the slim slack girl first.

whenever i see a girl with all that dark hair and thick,
dark eyebrows like that it makes me wonder about…everything.

she’d make a better hooker than the referenced slut.

furthermore, about the sexism…the tv hookers in the meat-packing
district here in the city get dragged in and the johns go free. since the tv’s are
sort of guys, it’t not really sexism…now is it?

i’m glad i cleared that up.

Delicious July 2, 2008 at 8:28 pm

[re=28913]villageatrois[/re]: Would be lawyers, eh? Do they also bill you for time spent preparing the bill?

weirdiowasculpture July 2, 2008 at 8:53 pm

[re=28975]Delicious[/re]: In my very first job as a lawyer, years ago, I was in the administrative partner’s office one day when a client called to complain that we had billed them 28 cents for the stamp that was on their bill. (It was the only expense billed that month, so it was pretty obvious.) After arguing for 15 minutes over whether it was legitimate to bill them for the stamp, the partner finally gave in and agreed to cut the 28-cent charge from their bill. After hanging up, he then wrote down 0.3 hours in his time sheets for the conversation and billed them for that time the next month at his regular billing rate of $250 per hour.

shortsshortsshorts July 2, 2008 at 8:59 pm

[re=28978]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: As a lawyer’s slave, SCREW YOU PEOPLE YOU ASSHOLES I HATE YOU ALL.

No offense to you though.

Prodigalson1982 July 2, 2008 at 10:40 pm

I’ve done many a-searches of prostitutes in my area and still Adult Friend-Finder, BootyCall, and the random hook up page on Craiglist has yielded no results to my liking. I don’t want to go to nevada and get me legal hookers. I want the Illegal types. I want to pay $200 for the skanky 21 year old blonde that’s living in a trailer with her Grandmother.

It seems like I need to be a horny politician to get these hookers to come out of the woodwork. Hmm I think it’s time to revive the Whig Party

donner_froh July 2, 2008 at 11:35 pm

WAPO is a bit slow with its hooker news. Here is an article from over a week ago in the Detroit News which covers the same hearing, including Ms. Martin’s deal under the Holmes Youthful Trainee Act although she probably has as much training as she will need.

Here is a picture from the hearing

Mr-Clark July 3, 2008 at 12:17 am

Ken Layne,

I think it’s pretty damn funny they charged her with trespassing of all things. It kind of brings up the religious connotations of their $150 transaction. I don’t understand why Tom Athans, Michigan Senator Debbie Stabenow’s husband, wasn’t charged with anything.

I’m sure there was hell to pay later when Debbie got home. Why did the whole thing take only 15 minutes? He’s cheap, you would think he would milk it for at least 30 minutes.

Sincerely and respectfully,


shortsshortsshorts July 3, 2008 at 12:28 am

[re=29007]Mr-Clark[/re]: “Teh” price for whores and “teh” price for gas is not only exponential, but symbiotic, Mr-Clark

shortsshortsshorts July 3, 2008 at 12:34 am

[re=29019]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: /*are* not “is,” you fucktard.

wonk_the_heck July 3, 2008 at 12:49 am

In FL the maximum penalty for “trespassing” witches is hanging.

shortsshortsshorts July 3, 2008 at 12:57 am

[re=29029]wonk_the_heck[/re]: Are you questioning DAVID VITTER? He is the most patriotic American ever!!!!!!1! We must worship him for his ability to not only evade prosecution, but cause suffering to family members and family alike (and still defend the SANCTITY of marriage between a penis and a vagina).

A toast!
To diapered perverts!

villageatrois July 3, 2008 at 12:58 am

[re=28975]Delicious[/re]: I see you know the “drill”. He shoulda spent the extra money, and avoided the add-on legal fees.

An interesting speculation is whether a proper juris doctor of the night would have itemized the fifteen minutes, or just put it down as the minimum time increment.

donner_froh July 3, 2008 at 1:04 am

[re=28901]Delicious[/re]: Mr. Debbie clearly overpaid. The economy in Michigan has been so bad for so long that prostitutes have been cutting their prices like mad. There are plenty of very short term appointments to be had–15 minutes being typical–under the “blow and go” or “knock and rock” heading.

Lascauxcaveman July 3, 2008 at 2:02 am

Slim Slack girl looks a helluva lot like my wife, if she forgot where she left her school marm’s glasses. Only wifey’s tits would be sticking out more from that angle.

Humble Pi July 3, 2008 at 9:36 am

Yay, Big Beaver makes a comeback! What a way to end a four day week!

Humble Pi July 3, 2008 at 9:36 am

So, when do they put her in stocks in the public square? No scarlet letter adorning her breast?

What’s wrong with this country when a decent, hard working philanderer can’t get some strange on the side without all the wimmens gettin’ all uppity about the trollop gettin’ punished, when it was clearly all her fault. If she wasn’t wearing all that boa and feather attire, he wouldn’t have gotten aroused and none of this wouldn’t have happened. Put the blame where it belongs, people!

Humble Pi July 3, 2008 at 9:38 am

[re=29108]Humble Pi[/re]: “none of this would have happened” Ignant bitch.

TGY July 3, 2008 at 9:48 am

15 minutes in his room, eh? And a charge of trespassing. That was a pretty quick run through the forbidden grass if you ask me. Tiptoeing through the tulips at a breakneck pace.

bearbait July 3, 2008 at 10:42 am

[re=29112]TGY[/re]: You kiddin’? 15 minutes…that leaves like 13 minutes for small talk, business transactions, getting the complimentary Diet Coke or bottled water from the fridge, etc.

After several years of marriage I have found, however, that, “What the hell, we got a couple’a minutes.”, is not the surest come-on for sex.

Guppy06 July 3, 2008 at 12:38 pm

Srsly, all the people bemoaning the lack of charges for the john seem to have forgotten the shining example of David Vitter.

And I only support the dunking of women when they’re wearing white cotton t-shirts.

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