About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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Hola wonkerados.

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54 comments

  1. SayItWithWookies

    And no charges for Mr. Innocent John, natch. That bridge to the fourteenth century is coming along nicely.

  2. AngryBlakGuy

    …and by the way that “Slim Slack” girl in the purple jeans has been throwing my snark off all damn day!

  3. anabellum

    [re=28885]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: a hundred bucks for sex…and an extra fifty so she wouldnt spit on him afterwards…

  4. shortsshortsshorts

    She’s friend on the MySpace. I think I only have MySpace for when Whores come out of the wash.

  5. anabellum

    [re=28893]SayItWithWookies[/re]: exactly…shes looking at 90 days….but on the bright side maybe she can turn this little ‘bump in the road’ into a shot at a place on next seasons American Idol…im sure sings just fine…

  6. greatgooglymoogly

    [re=28895]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Yes! Yes! My God, I’ve been looking at her all day! What is wrong with me?

  7. Rusty Shackleford

    She’s facing 90 days for Trespassing?! How can it be trespassing if she paid for the hotel room? At the most, she should be facing a day or two in the county lockup, and a few hours of community service, especially for a first offense. But 90 days?! WTF?!

    [re=28895]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Word! She looks like she’s 14, and I haven’t been able to take my eyes off her sweet, round purple ass all day long! Is that wrong?

  8. shortsshortsshorts

    From her MySpace:

    “Dont hate me untill i give you a reason to… Dont judge me untill know the whole story

    TOTEZ! FOR REALZ!

  9. villageatrois

    [re=28901]Delicious[/re]: “$150 for 15 minutes?” The higher priced ones have been to law school.

  10. pondscum

    [re=28910]Rusty Shackleford[/re]: and why isn’t he being charged with anything. I don’t get this…

  11. WhatTheHeck

    [re=28893]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=28903]anabellum[/re]: It has a lot to do with the fact that prostitution
    laws are written by men, so the men get to walk away with their pants on and a slap on the wrist.

    As for mr. whoremaniser, he was already at home spending more time with the family.
    Now he’ll be spending more time at work – alone.

  12. Joey Ratz

    Trespassing? 90 days? No charges asgainst the john? This makes no sense whatsoever.

  13. problemwithcaring

    [re=28885]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: [re=28889]tunamelt[/re]: Yea, this Wonkette’s sexism is pretty glaring…

  14. anabellum

    [re=28910]Rusty Shackleford[/re]: [re=28918]pondscum[/re]: its just par for the course….the girl gets charged…the guy walks…happens all the time…….

    but i did check, and Michigan law has exactly the same fines/penalties for both parties involved…

    it appears the girls plea bargain did little for her…90 days for trespassing vs a possible 93 days for prostitution [although third offense for prostitution is a felony, and i presume its a good thing to keep it off your record]…

    of interest is that there is no way they could have charged the girl without fat-ass admitting to paying her….

    still he gets to walk…nice huh?…

  15. Mahousu

    I did not realize there was a law against having sex with Senators’ husbands. That might explain why Paul Pelosi always looks so grumpy. (I’m not even going to mention Bill C.)

  16. anabellum

    [re=28929]WhatTheHeck[/re]: in this case the penalties are the same under the law…see my comment above..

  17. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=28934]problemwithcaring[/re]: I have INSIDER INFORMATION that tunamelt does not in fact, have a penis, and AngryBlakGuy’s penis makes up most of the dark matter in the universe. Luckily I do not know this from personal experience.

    However, if a woman is caught to be a victim of LUST, then she shall receive her just punishment and be labeled a witch.

  18. tunamelt

    Actually, can someone please explain to me why the Washington Post website has links to stories from the Onion website?

  19. tunamelt

    [re=28946]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I do in fact have a penis. In a jar. And I also advocate throwing witches (read: women) into large pools of water. If they drown, they were innocent and we pray for their souls. If they float, they are in fact witches, and must be burned.

  20. jagorev

    [re=28947]tunamelt[/re]: The Washington Post company publishes the Onion’s print version. It’s a synergistic, vertically integrated marketing partnership!!!

  21. Texan Bulldoggette

    Uhhmmm….kind of mean, I know, but look at Miz Stabenow. She is on the butt end of ugly; can’t blame poor Mr. “I Buy Hookers” Stabenow for straying from the farm.

  22. weirdiowasculpture

    I’d like to get into a synergistic, vertically integrated partnership with that Slim Shack chick, if you know what I mean.

  23. weirdiowasculpture

    [re=28964]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Personally, of the three of them, I’d rather do the dog.

  24. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=28958]jagorev[/re]: The Onion is also where the Post sources most of its articles. Anytime they say “sources” they are reviewing to The Onion.

  25. tunamelt

    [re=28958]jagorev[/re]: That’s one of those things that should make me laugh but instead makes me sad.

  26. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=28967]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: *referring* to the Onion

    I tippe vewy swell.

  27. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=28966]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: Yeah, me too. Sad….Miz Stabenow reminds me of a girl’s high school/college basketball coach who got married just so people would quit thinking she’s peeping into the girl’s locker room showers.

  28. tsunami

    sorry, i saw the slim slack girl first.

    whenever i see a girl with all that dark hair and thick,
    dark eyebrows like that it makes me wonder about…everything.

    she’d make a better hooker than the referenced slut.

    furthermore, about the sexism…the tv hookers in the meat-packing
    district here in the city get dragged in and the johns go free. since the tv’s are
    sort of guys, it’t not really sexism…now is it?

    i’m glad i cleared that up.

  29. Delicious

    [re=28913]villageatrois[/re]: Would be lawyers, eh? Do they also bill you for time spent preparing the bill?

  30. weirdiowasculpture

    [re=28975]Delicious[/re]: In my very first job as a lawyer, years ago, I was in the administrative partner’s office one day when a client called to complain that we had billed them 28 cents for the stamp that was on their bill. (It was the only expense billed that month, so it was pretty obvious.) After arguing for 15 minutes over whether it was legitimate to bill them for the stamp, the partner finally gave in and agreed to cut the 28-cent charge from their bill. After hanging up, he then wrote down 0.3 hours in his time sheets for the conversation and billed them for that time the next month at his regular billing rate of $250 per hour.

  31. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=28978]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: As a lawyer’s slave, SCREW YOU PEOPLE YOU ASSHOLES I HATE YOU ALL.

    No offense to you though.

  32. Prodigalson1982

    I’ve done many a-searches of prostitutes in my area and still Adult Friend-Finder, BootyCall, and the random hook up page on Craiglist has yielded no results to my liking. I don’t want to go to nevada and get me legal hookers. I want the Illegal types. I want to pay $200 for the skanky 21 year old blonde that’s living in a trailer with her Grandmother.

    It seems like I need to be a horny politician to get these hookers to come out of the woodwork. Hmm I think it’s time to revive the Whig Party

  33. Mr-Clark

    Ken Layne,

    I think it’s pretty damn funny they charged her with trespassing of all things. It kind of brings up the religious connotations of their $150 transaction. I don’t understand why Tom Athans, Michigan Senator Debbie Stabenow’s husband, wasn’t charged with anything.

    I’m sure there was hell to pay later when Debbie got home. Why did the whole thing take only 15 minutes? He’s cheap, you would think he would milk it for at least 30 minutes.

    Sincerely and respectfully,

    Mr-Clark

  34. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=29007]Mr-Clark[/re]: “Teh” price for whores and “teh” price for gas is not only exponential, but symbiotic, Mr-Clark

  35. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=29029]wonk_the_heck[/re]: Are you questioning DAVID VITTER? He is the most patriotic American ever!!!!!!1! We must worship him for his ability to not only evade prosecution, but cause suffering to family members and family alike (and still defend the SANCTITY of marriage between a penis and a vagina).

    A toast!
    To diapered perverts!

  36. villageatrois

    [re=28975]Delicious[/re]: I see you know the “drill”. He shoulda spent the extra money, and avoided the add-on legal fees.

    An interesting speculation is whether a proper juris doctor of the night would have itemized the fifteen minutes, or just put it down as the minimum time increment.

  37. donner_froh

    [re=28901]Delicious[/re]: Mr. Debbie clearly overpaid. The economy in Michigan has been so bad for so long that prostitutes have been cutting their prices like mad. There are plenty of very short term appointments to be had–15 minutes being typical–under the “blow and go” or “knock and rock” heading.

  38. Lascauxcaveman

    Slim Slack girl looks a helluva lot like my wife, if she forgot where she left her school marm’s glasses. Only wifey’s tits would be sticking out more from that angle.

  39. Humble Pi

    So, when do they put her in stocks in the public square? No scarlet letter adorning her breast?

    What’s wrong with this country when a decent, hard working philanderer can’t get some strange on the side without all the wimmens gettin’ all uppity about the trollop gettin’ punished, when it was clearly all her fault. If she wasn’t wearing all that boa and feather attire, he wouldn’t have gotten aroused and none of this wouldn’t have happened. Put the blame where it belongs, people!

  40. TGY

    15 minutes in his room, eh? And a charge of trespassing. That was a pretty quick run through the forbidden grass if you ask me. Tiptoeing through the tulips at a breakneck pace.

  41. bearbait

    [re=29112]TGY[/re]: You kiddin’? 15 minutes…that leaves like 13 minutes for small talk, business transactions, getting the complimentary Diet Coke or bottled water from the fridge, etc.

    After several years of marriage I have found, however, that, “What the hell, we got a couple’a minutes.”, is not the surest come-on for sex.

  42. Guppy06

    Srsly, all the people bemoaning the lack of charges for the john seem to have forgotten the shining example of David Vitter.

    And I only support the dunking of women when they’re wearing white cotton t-shirts.

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