Wonkette
We seem to be having some economic problems. Los Angeles billionaire Eli Broad (the “B” in KB Homes) tells Bloomberg that “this is worse than any recession we’ve had since World War II.” Bloomberg editors noted, on Friday, that U.S. stock declines hadn’t been so lousy since June of 1930, during that Great Depression. Ah, hell ….
The Dow is negative 20% over the first half of 2008 and that means Bear Stearns Markets and National Sorrow (worse than usual).
Gas is $4.50 a gallon. Propane and Electricity are terribly expensive, as are food and water and cigarettes and guns and health insurance.
Also, anybody working for Big Corporation can be expected to be pushed off-line by an off-shore space monster, soon.
Please leave your Stox Tipz in the comments, because we all need Help!
This is how capitalism staggers from crisis to crisis.
Ken Layne,
Personally, I am a “have not.” So, I watch the stock market, as I need to hang onto what little savings I do have. In this lead-up to the even bigger Great Depression, I consider myself lucky to have nothing on credit and not owe anyone a dime. Sometimes being really poor has its advantages.
If I had my way, I would still be really poor as I thought Krispy kreme was foolproof. Next thing I know, they’re talking about Trans Fats and that was that. So, needless to say, I wake up each day and decide to be happy and usually wind up that way.
But, ever so slowly, my savings is being eaten up by my biggest expense…food. (Pun was an added bonus here.) I personally thank President Bush for unseeding rent as my number one expense and replacing it with food. Thank God for rent control in San Francisco.
If I could recommend a stock tip, it would be liquor, as alcohol is pretty much recession proof. Few makers are publicly traded with good reason. In the 13 1/2 years I was a bartender in dance clubs etc, the economy never effected my income. It was always high. Did I save any of it? Hell no! That would be un American. I was busy stimulating the economy among other things. Oh, and always always buy lottery tickets. At least you get to have the great American Dream until the draw.
Sincerely and respectfully,
Mr-Clark
Pork bellies. You didn’t hear it from me.
Aurelio: As opposed to alternatives to capitalism, which enjoy their crises 24/7/365.
Plastic, Benjamin.
I’m just waiting for the magic of deregulation and tax cuts for the wealthy to take hold.
Cape Clod:
Unfortunately, they already have taken hold!
You people will just have to buckle down and live off dividends from you portfolios. Maybe drop a star when you eat out. And stop flying yourselves. You can save a great deal in gas costs if you fly first class rather than charter. But here’s the best tip: Have the board rework your contract so that use of the corporate jet is included. Fly at the share-holders expense. So their dividends suffer, so what? It’s a bear market, ya know.
I’m putting all my money in truck nutz.
Maybe I’m late to the party here, but this news just hit the Australian press: _the United States Federal Reserve is about to get the proverbial cold finger up the rectum from the IMF - JUST LIKE A REAL THIRD WORLD COUNTRY!
Congratulations, hoboes!
My plan is to live hobo style. Move from town to town with my laptop, avoiding the cops and hobo stompers, stealing wi-fi, power and fattening up on exquisite hobo cuisine like Roadkill Stew and Dumpster Leavings.
Clearly, a major tax cut for the rich and increased government subsidies to inefficient and Republican-connected major corporations is our only hope, so obviously we need to do all we can for McCain.
Once again, this is the price of gluttony. Thousands lose jobs, benefits get slashed, the minimum wage hasn’t been a LIVABLE wage for 50 years, health insurance is becoming too expensive, the infrastructure is rotting, and public education is a joke. Why? Because everbody wants investment returns NOW and nobody wants to pay taxes.
You want a stock tip? Stop thinking about yourselves and get the fuck out of commodities so the majority of us can survive and possibly have a little expendable income.
Ok so thanks to Wonkette’s new advertising..i watched Ganja Queen on HBO last night. Anybody else see it?
Invest in guns.
4:04am? Ken, are you working more than one job?
Here’s my suggestion for the new Hoovertowns. Call them Chimptowns in honor of our primate-in-chief, one of the architects of our current debacle. The Bitters will laugh, thinking the name refers to the poor blacks living there (get it? Black = monkey, haha good one!). Then when they find out the residents are poor white trash (formerly middle-class white trash), we’ll have our laugh (haha, better one!).
I even have a community anthem:
Chimptown hoboes sing this song, doo dah, doo dah,
Chimptown soup line five miles long, all de doo dah day!
Arugula?
Servo: Yup. We’ve fucked ourselves mightily coddling the richest motherfuckers among us while the hyper-aquisitive middle class bought too many shiny toys on credit because credit was easy and real money for their limitless wants wasn’t there. We’re lucky enough to be adults for this fun-filled economic wakeup call. Hoo-fucking-ray.
In my dimwitted, self-involved city a law was recently passed that the government can’t raise property tax rates unless—get this—the voters approve it. Au revoir, free trash pickup. We really do get what we deserve.
Smurf Collectibles. And don’t take them out of the package, no matter how tempting their little blue, plushy bodies become.
RuperttheBear: Beanie babies. Their value will never diminish.
Jaco Gregorius: And religion. Don’t forget religion.
confusionanddelay<: And comics. Comic collecting is always a good long-term investment.
Bah. Just ’cause someone has a lot of money doesn’t mean they’re experts on the economy.
Godless Liberal *: Please do not insult us Wonketeers. Oh! That was a tip? Sorry.
TGY: Well, I’m certainly no expert, but when art market prices are thru the roof, it’s a pretty good indication that the real economy is headed to hell in the old handbasket. And I don’t see Mr. Broad selling his collection anytime soon.
confusionanddelay<:
This has always been a multi-faceted problem in both public and private sectors. Workers and executives/politicians think that they’re entitled to an obscenely large chunk of pie. Executives get huge bonuses for increasing stock values fractions of a cent by slashing jobs and/or benefits. Unions were designed to protect the workers, but evolved into the system they fought. We have seen what the unions have done to Detroit. $27/hr to install car seats? Along with benefits, how long did they expect that to last? Wait until this happens to the private sector. Towns will start going bankrupt because the public employees’ and teachers’ unions have extorted the public ( collective bargaining should be illegal because government is not for profit ) to the extent that the infrastructure is ignored to pay for their lofty salaries and benefits. Then we have the taxpayers. Raise the taxes a tiny percent and people through a juvenile tantrum, even though the tax increases usually never keep pace with inflation. If people saw what the taxes are in other countries, then they would realize that our taxes are diddly-squat.
My only hope is that this stops the apathy. We need to storm the Bastille to let the power players know that the line has been drawn, and they have crossed it.
Propane and Propane Accessories are terribly expensive.
/Hank’d
My sources suggest that just about anything listed on the Pink Sheets is a great bet.
Bernanke is as bug a fool as the man who hired him; his monetary policy amounted to this: “The world will subsidize U.S. spending, no matter how over drawn it grows, because they can’t afford not to.” No one nation is so vital that it’s dominance must be maintained by the rest of humanity, thinking so is hubris, plain and simple.
ive been living on credit cards for years…theyve turned out to be a fine investment..
anabellum:
I love seeing unease of the banks, knowing that they probably won’t get their money back from all those credit cards they shoved in everyone’s mailboxes.
“What’s in your wallet?” Nothing for you.
two words: cat food
poor people love lottery tickets, Hot Cheetos and shows hosted by or featuring Jeff Foxworthy.
I’d invest in a company that produces any or all of those three things. as the number of poors increases, so does their demand for these items–this will raise the price of the goods and increase revenues for the companies that make them.
it’s simple economics.
also: poor people love Hillary Clinton, so if we could capitalize on that in some way…
though if known geniuses Terry McAuliffe and Mark Penn couldn’t figure out how, there’s little hope for the rest of us.
So does this mean the value of whore diamonds is going to go down?
50 pound bags of rice, 9mm ammunition (or another fairly versatile round), and illegal narcotics. You should probably also invest in a leatherman tool and learn how to purify water.
Pelagius: The last bit of the article about the review postponement is quite a punchline.
Eli Broad, by the way, needs to drink a tall glass of STFU. ” I might buy the Dodgers, I might but a football team, I might give my art collection to your museum…” and yet he never does anything. All he wants is media attention whilst he secretly snatches up all of our beanie babies.
The baby-boomers are getting old, they need their meds. Also old folks homes.
Fittingly, Uncle Tupelo did a bangin’ version of “I’m Gonna Destroy You,” which is essentially what the GOP, housing lenders and Wall Street have combined to do to the U.S.
Incidentally, “No Depression” is one of the most kick ass albums EVAR.
Pelagius: Ben Bernacke? There is only one Mr. Dollar in the United States of America: http://www.yesumulungi.com/Pictures/Creflo_Dollar_Uganda1.jpg
I think the clear answer to all of America’s problems is Soylent Green.
Pelagius: That whole article is hilarious if you read it in a Schwarzenegger accent. Especially this part: But this time Mr. Dollar is also Mr. Powerless.
“Here is Sub-Zero! Now PLAIN ZERO!”
Puppy mill: Those that you don’t sell, you can always eat.
Kidnapped Asian babies: ditto.
lumpenprole: But not if you’re fed up with people.
So a big-shot in the homebuilding industry is saying “ZOMG, the economy!” Kinda makes me wonder where his political contributions have been going.
TGY:
Silent Running then?
Uncle Tupelo is the fuckin’ best. Y’all get that record.
Baseball Cards. I have a Mike Schmitt that’s worth like 12.25 right now.
Oh, and Truck Nutzzz seem like a good bet in the short-run.
Think yourself lucky that Gas in US is only $4.50 a Gallon, in the UK it now over $11, most of which is tax by the Government to waste at our expense.