Wonkette
The Los Angeles Times reports that Oliver Stone is still working on his terrible W biopic, which will include his signature “twist ending” in which the hero is assassinated by the CIA. This movie is a guaranteed epic tragedy of Shakespearean proportions, with Elizabeth Banks as Queen Gertrude.
One of the more awful aspects of this $30 million dollar abortion is that it features a “baseball-oriented fantasy framing device.” Also, Oliver Stone says, “We are trying to walk in the footsteps of W and try to feel like he does, to try to get inside his head.” So we are forced to conclude this movie will basically be like Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl, except on a baseball field. [LAT]
“As Krusty the Klown would say, This I do not need!”
Is Wil Ferrel in the starring role?
Does this mean that theatre goers are going to be force fed a egotism, narcissism and a supremely large sense of entitlement (aka lots and lots of blow)?
But has Stone allowed his artistic vision to be compromised by cutting out the scene where Bush personally plants the explosive charges on the load-bearing columns of the Word Trade Center?
I am not sure which is worse, the baseball framing device or the idea of getting into George Bush’s head. Will ANYone actually see this movie? People who love Bush won’t, and I bet people who hate him won’t either. That leaves…? Insane people?
“We are trying to walk in the footsteps of W and try to feel like he does, to try to get inside his head.”
Who is this “We”? and why would anyone want to get inside that hamster wheel of a head?
He NEEDS to make this movie. It is gonna be our generation’s “Rocky Horror”, on the reals.
Truly the next Citizen Kane.
This film, like Bush’s presidency, it will be the biggest flop of all time.
stankfest: I actually think Ashton Kutcher would be more appropriate.
I hear Danny Devito will be given an assortment of crazy umbrella weapons in playing the role of Dick Cheney.
freakishlystrong:
Being inside Bush’s head would be like a BB in boxcar.
So much emptiness…
The documentary about this movie will be far more interesting and watchable than the movie itself. Oliver Stone doing a Dubya biopic is like… is like… Good golly — like Kitty Kelly writing a historical analysis of the fall of the Wehrmacht Republic. I just want to yell “No! This topic is too big for your pinhead oversimplification, bombastic characterization and oversized ego to handle justly, which it so deserves!” In terms of idiots handling disasters it’s — well — sorta like Dubya bringing democracy to the Middle East. So strangely fitting.
…hey, I would pay $10 bucks for a bucket popcorn to watch a “W” snuff film!
Wait… “W” … “W” … Seems like I should remember who that is. Nope, nothing. And who’s Oliver Stone??
Final Scene. Bush wearing a flightsuit, standing in front of a mirror in a dressing room. He speaks to the mirrow: “Yeah, I was asleep on 9-11. And I started that stupid war. [Lowers codpiece, revealing 1" dick.] But I’m a wartime president. Everybody loves them.” [Raises codpiece, steps outside, sounds of cheering.]
In Stone’s world, nothing is as it seems. If he were to do a story on Wonkette, it would
turn out that Wonkette was created by the CIA to weed out dissent to eight glorious years of
the Bush presidency.
…if this movie is factually accurate then it would need to be a dud! Its like having a naked photo shoot with Glenn Close and then getting upset that the final product isn’t Halle Berry!!!
“get inside his head”
sounds dark and lonely.
Maybe he’ll do some sort of “Being John Malcovich” thing…
Someone’s cranky because she hasn’t sold a screenplay yet.
I would rather be tied up and forced to watch ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ for a week straight than a movie about president dumbs**t.
Of course, just being tied up… err, never mind.
Doglessliberal: I will watch this movie, likely in the nude, with peanut butter smeared on my generous nipples. If that makes me insane, then so be it.
Ever wonder why no one has done a biopic of James Buchanon? Or Warren Harding? Herbert Hoover?
Maybe the ‘framing device’ should be those three watching W’s progress from the afterlife and high fiving each other knowing that a new consensus is being arrived at as to who is the worst president in history.
graceless: Or maybe he’ll do an “Alexander” thing.
Godless Liberal *: You so crazy.
I’m making a biopic on Oliver Stone with a twist ending (hint: It involves the CIA, Oliver Stone’s rectum, and an M-80).
Why do those cavalier enough to do edgy projects (Stone, Moore) have to be such slapdicks?
He doesn’t get assasinated either. He catches a wave with the Ganja Queen and the two sail off into the sunset.
>>“baseball-oriented fantasy framing device.”
Will 4000+ dead American soldiers walk out of the cornfield to save W’s presidency?
Godless Liberal *: and that is why we love you
Godless Liberal *: I doubt it’ll make you insane… popular, maybe.
Of course, the best movie with W would be shown in reverse. So he leaves the White House after un-imploding the economy, re-instating a tame and sedate Hussein, preventing 9-11, and going on to revive several broken and destitute businesses, then finally ending happily as a cheerleader at Yale. I would gladly pay to see that movie over and over.
4tehlulz: Just a guess — the tagline’s gonna be “If you destroy it, they will come.”
Godless Liberal *: Just to clarify, this is in the theater, right?
Actually, depending on the theater, you might be one of the more-subdued customers.
…back, and to the left.
SuperRounder:
“Or maybe he’ll do an “Alexander” thing.”
What, change his sexual orientation to make the film palpable?
When are the tryouts for the role of the pitcher who throws a brushback pitch at Dubya? I’m left-handed, throw in the mid-80s … where do I send the rest of my resume?
You guys have to admit - that’s a great picture of young Dub. Personally, I can’t wait until the Post Office releases a commemorative “Date Rape at Yale” stamp. I’m going to use it on all of my correspondence to the gays and atheists that a triumphant McCain/John Taylor Bowles ticket will imprison in ‘09.
LazloHollyfeld: Isn’t Yale where initiation includes masturbating in from of your father, or is that just with some of the clubs folks join?
SayItWithWookies: Yes. I’m even working on the Terra…er…Richard Perle monologue:
W, people will go, W. They’ll go to Iraq for reasons they can’t even fathom. They’ll board that plane not knowing for sure why they’re doing it. They’ll in Baghdad as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won’t mind if you kick ass, you’ll say. It’s only $125,000 per person. They’ll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and war they lack. And they’ll walk out into Sadr City; sit in body armor on a perfect afternoon. They’ll find they have reserved seats somewhere in Walter Reed, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they’ll watch the war and it’ll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they’ll have to brush them away with pills and alcohol. People will go Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been war. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But war has marked the time. This field, this war: it’s a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh… people will go Ray. People will most definitely go.
4tehlulz: shit, sub W for Ray…..
Well, hopefully there won’t be so many long speeches, given that it’s George, we’re talking about. I’m hoping for scenes where he finds out his dad’s fucking some socialite instead of his mom, the lady on the quaker oats box.
Note to Oliver Stone:
I think you’ll have a hit on your hands if you make the following small change - Make the movie as a ‘Keystone Kops’ comedy. Dubya is already a laughing stock of the world. Use it to your advantage.
Please do not insult the puppy bowl. I contend that W’s brain is like a squirming bucket of ferrets.
Is there going to be a Kitty Half Time Show too? I think that it would add to the movie.
I hope it’s a science fiction masterpiece.
Bush doesn’t dodge the draft.
Bush doesn’t wait ’til 40 years after the war’s over to go to ‘Nam.
Cheney, in the hospital for x-rays, is found to have a heart.
Bush falls off his bike while eating a pretzel (that’s his story, he’s sticking with it) and somehow wakes up from surgery with a warm and friendly personality, and intelligence above that of a turnip.
Sigh! I suppose I’ll have to wait and see.
Jerryw
boskolives.wordpress.com
Oh yeah, Ron Howard (with a hairpiece, look at the photo) will play him as a still in the closet “cheerleader”.
And it has to be a double assassination, since we all know that the CIA is under orders to shoot Cheney first.
Don’t believe me? Look it up:
cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/
Jerryw
boskolives.wordpress.com
I can’t wait for the love scene between W and Jeff Gannon.
I’m picturing something like “Being John Malkovich” with a missing Special Olympian at the helm.
Gopherit v2.0: And my proposed title: Short Bus: The Story of A Special American President.
4tehlulz:
Second note to Oliver Stone:
If the ‘Keystone Kops’ scenario doesn’t do it for you, how about a XXX Gay Neocon Lovefest Porno flick? You even get to keep all the same characters.
Awesome.
Serolf Divad: The Word Trade Center? Is that W’s Library? Can’t be too big, just a few comic books and some girlie mags.
choinski: Colin Farrell as straight Alexander was palpable? Does that mean it was in Closeted Gay 3D?
War has changed.
In “W,” Richard Dreyfus plays Dick Cheney–and that’s not a joke.
This is life imitating art. The past 8 years have been LIKE a bad Oliver Stone movie about a war-monger presidency gone awry, and now Oliver Stone is making the movie about the past 8 years. If only it were all just a movie.
ManchuCandidate: egotism, narcissism and a sense of entitlement are guaranteed of any Oliver Stone project. though, given the subject matter, “W” promises all three in spades.