Wonkette
Hey guess who’s cosponsoring yet another one of these “protecting marriage from being forever defiled by hot gay action” Constitutional amendments? Two terrible hypocrites: an adulterous bathroom goblin and an adulterous diaper fetishist. Larry Craig and David Vitter should have gay diapered bathroom sex and then filibuster the crap out of each other, because that is what Jesus wanted when he wrote the Fruitcake Constitution. [GovTrack.us]
Sen. Vitter, who is going to protect marriage from you? Or does the definition of “marital bliss” include a possible case of herpes?
Sen. Craig, this bill is going in the toilet. I think you know which one.
I can just imagine this Sen. Roger Wicker guy (the bill’s sponsor):
“No, really, Larry, it’s cool. We don’t need the help. We’re fine. No, really, give yourself a little break, Larry. Get outside, smell the roses.”
“109th Congress: S. J. Res. 1: Marriage Protection Amendment-Dead.”
HA! Yes. BITTER DEATH to marriage protection. NO MARRIAGE IS SAFE ! ! !
It explains Vitter’s Diaper and Hooker rider that was attached to the Bill and the “If I’m eating it’s not cheating” amendment from Craig.
Vitter’s protecting marriage from gays and from AIDS.
I guess it’ll be up to the Democrats to pass an amendment that protect marriage from philandering whoremongers and hypocrites.
So when all these (R)’s get married, do the wives have to take a seperate oath to stand next to them as they make their confessions and appear to support these jackoffs? Just sayin’..
…next thing you know Denny Hastert will release a diet book.
AngryBlakGuy:
Worked for Dr Phil.
In sickness and in health, in bathrooms and in whorehouses,
let no man put ass-under.
sometimes irony is funny, sometimes is it sad
Isn’t marriage threatened enough without defenders like these guys? What with McCrone defending the troops and Dubya defending the homeland and Cheney and his oil buddies defending our energy policy, this administration has taken destroying-it-in-order-to-save-it to unforseen heights. I’m just relieved they’re not defending recreational drugs and premarital sex.
Senator Craig is hoping that Sherod Brown puts on hold on the bill…and him….
ManchuCandidate: …Brittney Spears Parenting Guide?
Wow. You just can’t make shit like this up.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha
If gays can’t marry, why does Craig have a wife?
…whomever told these FREAKS that this was a good idea deserves a fukkin medal!
They should also add in a section about castrating those who violate their marriage vows.
The bigger threat to marriage is married men who try to get undercover cops to screw them in the men’s airport bathroom or married men with diaper fetishes who visit hookers.
I’m sure Mrs. Craig and Mrs. Vitter wish marriage was illegal.
In light of this bill, I hope some smartypants Demtard introduces a bill:
S. 2055: Recognition of Senatorial Achievements in Irony & Hypocrisy
I just checked to make sure that hypocrisy and irony were still in the dictionary. Cause for a minute there I thought I was sent to an alternate universe again. I hate it when that happens.
obfuscator:
Damn it. Well,I suppose those are obvious words to throw around in this situation.
Wide Stance Republicans for Marriage. Indeed. My wife and I are getting a divorce on general principles come Monday. Not because of the gay marriage law, but because we don’t want to be a party to anything defended by these two freaks. Then, we are going to Cally-forn-ja and get remarried in as a heterosexual couple in a gay ceremony.
Monsieur Grumpe:
I’m hoping for Feingold to sponsor that one. Maybe he can pay tribute to Thaddeus Q. McCotternuts of Michigan and utilize visual aids and stupid puns.
Feingold: “Today, we’ll be learning how to speak Socially Conservative Republicanese. When a socially conservative Republican senator says that he wants to ‘defend traditional marriage’, he really means that he wants to ‘meet you in a rest stop bathroom outside of Provo so you can fill him out like an application’.”
They just want to have sex with gays, not marry them. What’s hot and steamy about married sex?
Sen. Roger Wicker [R-MS]
Cosponsors [as of 2008-06-26]
Sen. Wayne Allard [R-CO]
Sen. Samuel Brownback [R-KS]
Sen. Larry Craig [R-ID]
Sen. James Inhofe [R-OK]
Sen. Pat Roberts [R-KS]
Sen. Richard Shelby [R-AL]
Sen. John Thune [R-SD]
Sen. David Vitter [R-LA]
That’s just a Murderers’ Row of the greatest minds in the Senate, isn’t it.
Wonder why Coburn isn’t listed here?
Presumably, Larry sponsored the bill to prove his heterosexuality. Doesn’t work that way, Larry!
If you want to see a wing-nut splutter, ask one, if he or she is so keen to defend marriage, whether he or she would support a constitutional amendment banning divorce.
You don’t have to go the whole theocratic monte with stonings for adultery or stuff, just no divorce. You can only get married once and never get unmarried; any benefits associated with marriage may only be bestowed on a single person.
There’s even a few biblical references to dig out if you really want to take it to the floor.
I’m sure it would be a great way to liven up one of those “dinner parties” I’m always hearing about.
Cool2Snog: You can pull out a whole lot of direct Jesus quotes to back that one up, too. Two things Jesus hated more than anything else: divorce and lending money at interest (Jesus was a dumbass on both counts, but for purposes of arguing with fundies, that don’t matter). Oh, yeah, and pride. He really hated the pride, which should give teh religious gheighs some pause.
SayItWithWookies: Oh, god, totally. What would happen if they defended, say, masturbation or something? Fuck.
Scat artists for marriage, now being joined by potty-mouthed Walnuts.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: AngryBlakGuy:
On a serious note, how stupid can these folks be? They must have known that having those two as co-sponsors would just expose themselves to (well-deserved) ridicule. Are the Republicans that bereft of common sense and/or ideas? Apparently yes.
maybe they both realize that a Constitutional amendment is the only way to protect marriage from themselves.
way to sacrifice for your country, Senators Craig and Vitter.
you are truly American heroes.
waait, your proposal violates the rights of millions of others. now I’m rethinking the “heroes” attribution. but don’t worry, this only strengthens your credentials as “American”s.
Gopherit v2.0: Coburn had a sterilization to attend.
Larry Craig was one of only 6 senators to vote NO on the GI benefits Bill today
McCain voiced his opposition but didn’t show up to vote.
today he took full credit for the bill. If you know any military family, please get this info to them.
Gawd knows the MSM won’t do it
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/06/27/mccain-takes-credit-for-g_n_109685.html
“Larry Craig and David Vitter should have gay diapered bathroom sex…”,/i>
I really hate to be a pedant [well, OK, I really don't], but the foregoing phrase doesn’t scan correctly. “Gay diapered bathroom sex” makes it sound like the diapers are gay, which I think is an insult to teh gayz, whereas surely it is the one wearing them who is teh gay. “Diapered gay bathroom sex” at least makes clear that it is the bathroom sex that is gay.
Either way, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
Which is just one of many reasons that I’ll shut it now.
Proceed.
Gopherit v2.0: Canuckledragger:
Hmmm.
I think the inclusion of a comma and some further rewording is in order:
Larry Craig and David Vitter should have diapered, gay sex in a men’s bathroom stall.
But that doesn’t bring teh funny, does it?
Gopherit v2.0:
A brain trust for the brainless.
Canuckledragger: but did you spit coffee all over your keyboard?
– Sponsor of the constitutional amendment to prohibit internet cliches
It’s OK for gay men to marry, as long as they marry Jenna Bush.
Maybe they are afraid it won’t be fun if it’s not forbidden fruit.
Zhu Bajie
hopeforbill: I would totally support a Constitutional amendment to that effect.
Also, when is Vitter going to sponsor a bill on diaper rash prevention? This is a matter that needs attention and he’s just the man to do it.
Who isn’t scared of the gays!!!
zhubajie: Huh, Huh, “forbidden fruit”
“I’m so sick of the Demrat hypocrites hyping up this story. For God’s sake all Rep. Richard Curtis did is receive anal sex from another man. I live in his distict and we support his fight against the homosexual agenda. Most men at one time or another have made love to another dude (whether receptive anal as in Curtis’ case or offering another buddy oral as in Rep. bob Allen’s case). Big whoop. Both these men have a respectable history of protecting the sanctity of marriage and the assault on our culture by the Demrat homosexual agenda.
There is a big difference between men who have sex with other men for pleasure and still support the sanctity of family values and amoral Demrats who parade around like Barney Frank. Even Larry Craig has raised up wholesome kids and loves his wife, so who cares if he goes down on a guy in a toilet stall. It is about biblical values and raising non-pervert kids (like the Cheney’s) and the GOP is still #1 as far as integrity and values. You Demrats are so degenerate and gay that you have to slime people like Curtis with your alternative lifestyle choice.”