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Senator Norm Coleman Sleeps In A Drawer

Senator Coleman is Kearney's kid.Norm Coleman, the hobo senator from Minnesota, rents a basement room from a Republican campaign consultant so he doesn’t have to sleep in the back of a freight car when he’s in Washington. Senator Coleman is supposed to pay $600 a month in rent, but he missed a couple of payments over the past year because he is a degenerate as well as a hobo.

Senator Coleman’s landlord is a gentleman named Jeff Larson, whose employer has helped the senator with fundraising ‘n stuff. Also Larson is the chief executive of the Minneapolis Saint Paul 2008 Host Committee, which is hosting the Republican National Convention.

But enough about their completely above-the-board connections! Apparently this apartment is a frightful dungeon that would terrify all but the most desperate vagrants, and Jeff Larson is a monster:

“I rent a cramped bedroom from him, with no kitchen. … It’s a place to lay my head,” the senator told a reporter.

Somebody needs to notify the proper authorities that a Republican pervert is keeping an impoverished, starving senator in his basement Incest Dungeon, the end.

Coleman renting room from campaign consultant [AP]
Friendly Dealings: Will Norm Coleman’s relationship with a well-connected GOP operative hurt him in his tough battle for re-election? [National Journal]


11:11 AM on Fri June 27 2008
By Sara K. Smith
5489 Views

  1. What would Babe the Blue Ox do?

  2. Doglessliberal says at 11:16 am, June 27th, 2008

    Norm Coleman is married to a former model, which means he must be a pedophile trying to cover up.
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/01/15/AR2008011503942.html

  3. SystemError says at 11:19 am, June 27th, 2008

    Talk about special favor, you cannot rent a basement apartment in Capitol Hill for less than $1000.

  4. Toonces says at 11:20 am, June 27th, 2008

    Someone might want to tell Sen. Coleman that there is an apartment building near Union Station he can live at for about $900/month, all utilities included. It is a little bit more, but you do get a small kitchen and bathroom. Oh, and you can have hookers/little boys/whatever over, instead of trying to sneak them into a basement.

  5. artbot2000 says at 11:21 am, June 27th, 2008

    Jaysus, Dogless, what a story!

    “The challenge of an at-home blowout is what inspired Coleman to invent the Blo & Go, a hair-dryer holster.

    For years, Coleman had been jury-rigging wire coat hangers into holders for her blow-dryer so she could use both hands to style her hair. “You go on a trip with senators and you have 45 minutes and you have to be ready to go,” says Coleman, who doesn’t have the luxury of traveling with a hairstylist. “Norm’s not going to blow-dry my hair.”

    Norm’s not going to blow-dry her hair? WTF?

  6. mookworthjwilson says at 11:22 am, June 27th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: “You get blown…(out)…and then you go”…Which also is the slogan for Norm’s male hooker service…

  7. JeffGoldblum says at 11:23 am, June 27th, 2008

    Your move, Franken.

  8. Truculent says at 11:23 am, June 27th, 2008

    He’s actually renting out one of Kramer’s dresser drawers.

  9. Oh, you just KNOW there’s more to this. Sort of like the photos of Rock Hudson in those 1950’s Hollywood gossip magazines with his “roommate”.

  10. SuperRounder says at 11:24 am, June 27th, 2008

    SystemError: He shares it with the Gimp.

  11. Monsieur Grumpe says at 11:25 am, June 27th, 2008

    “It’s a place to lay my head” is Republican code-speak for “Gay Love Dungeon.”

  12. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 11:25 am, June 27th, 2008

    Did you say capitol hill basement dungeon!?!?! Hmm… I know where that is! I don’t think Norm’s getting a lot of sleep though. “Lay my head” indeed

  13. Serolf Divad says at 11:26 am, June 27th, 2008

    SuperRounder:
    Beat me to it.

    Wonder if ol’ Norm sleeps in a black footlocker?

  14. AngryBlakGuy says at 11:30 am, June 27th, 2008

    NotUrEvryDayWEzl: …I think “Lay my head” translates into: Giving blowjobs to guys who are sleeping.

  15. mookworthjwilson says at 11:35 am, June 27th, 2008

    artbot2000: to paraphrase Judge Smails…”How’d you like to blow my hair?”

  16. Delicious says at 11:39 am, June 27th, 2008

    I think Al Franken used to be funny. Maybe he can whip up a little YouTube parody of Coleman laying his head.

  17. RaptorAvatar says at 11:43 am, June 27th, 2008

    At least his dignity is the only thing getting cannibalized down there, as far as we know.

  18. Aurelio says at 11:44 am, June 27th, 2008

    As a US Senator, Mr. Coleman makes $169,300 per year plus benefits. So what is he doing with the rest of his money? I realize that he has to buy hobo items, such as a stick with a bag on the end of it to carry on his shoulder. He also needs other items in his capacity as a degenerate, such as a set of electric dildoes in various sizes. But still, he should have a few bucks left over for better lodgings. Does he have a gambling problem, too?

  19. Diadhuit says at 11:48 am, June 27th, 2008

    holy hell, that is the longest story about nothing of any importance that I have ever read!

  20. Delicious says at 11:53 am, June 27th, 2008

    Aurelio: All his money is being used to prop up the Blo & Go empire.

  21. Harvey Birdman says at 12:03 pm, June 27th, 2008

    God I love midwestern bears.

    What are we talking about?

  22. capitol-hillbilly says at 12:05 pm, June 27th, 2008

    Norm used to think a Glory Hole had something to do with ice fishing. now he knows better …

  23. SuperRounder says at 12:06 pm, June 27th, 2008

    Serolf Divad: I wonder who ends up being Butch and Marsellus Wallace in this situation. If I were a reporter, I’d look into how often Connie Mack and JC Watts visit Coleman’s place.

  24. Doglessliberal says at 12:13 pm, June 27th, 2008
  25. 1974 (again) says at 12:13 pm, June 27th, 2008

    Toonces: Link? I am apartment hunting. And need a place that is more centrally located. I find that little boys/hookers won’t always come out to the far end of Petworth.

  26. Outstando says at 12:18 pm, June 27th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: Inventor of the Blo N Go, no less.

    “Anything that helps the family and pays the bills is good” = Actual Quote.

  27. Rodney Badger says at 12:18 pm, June 27th, 2008

    Here’s the Blo & Go website:

    http://www.bloandgo.com/Default.asp?bhcp=1

    Endorsed by no less than the Hindu Goddess Kali.

    Also, I’m disappointed that the one in this sentence appears to be the first Larry Craig reference in this thread

  28. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 12:23 pm, June 27th, 2008

    I can’t think of a better person to be beaten by Al Franken…, except for Bill O.

  29. Outstando says at 12:24 pm, June 27th, 2008

    He could save $600 a month if they’d just green screen him into DC.

  30. Rodney Badger says at 12:25 pm, June 27th, 2008

    I’d like to get one of those for my wife. She is always complaining about something to do with hair drying. That might be what she is griping about, I can’t really say.

    But I don’t want to support Norm Coleman in any way. What a predicament!

  31. WadISay says at 12:26 pm, June 27th, 2008

    So both Norm and Laurie got green-screened into that big kitchen where the commercial was shot?

  32. shortsshortsshorts says at 12:33 pm, June 27th, 2008

    its nice to see Sara K. Layne again.

  33. graceless says at 12:42 pm, June 27th, 2008

    Why doesn’t he go room with Chuck Schumer and company? They can all eat cereal and Chinese food in their boxers together. At least he’s be with Democrats…

  34. ALIVE! says at 1:08 pm, June 27th, 2008

    SuperRounder: graceless: Hawaiian pizza deliveries = smoking gun.

  35. liquiddaddy says at 1:18 pm, June 27th, 2008

    I guy told me Coleman’s roommate is terrorizing him. Holds his head in the toilet and gives him swirlies, and frogs his arms all the time. Thumps his tummy when he’s asleep. He crushes Norm’s raman noddles in the bags, hides his senator pants; stuff like that.

  36. ColdCupofHope says at 1:42 pm, June 27th, 2008

    I always figured that Norm slept in a box like the main character on Profit.

  37. Is that a senator in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

  38. NedPepper says at 2:11 pm, June 27th, 2008

    I heard he was moving up to a shipping pod.

  39. LBOtomist says at 2:17 pm, June 27th, 2008

    SuperRounder: Can’t believe it took 10 comments before there was a gimp reference, this place is slipping. Can Marcellus send his boys to give Norm the “medieval” treatment?

  40. Truculent says at 2:38 pm, June 27th, 2008

    LBOtomist: Nobody kills anybody in my place of business except me or Zed.

    That’s Zed.

  41. gurukalehuru says at 2:54 pm, June 27th, 2008

    Only a matter of time before somebody wakes up with their dick in somebody’s mouth.

  42. Advocatus_Diaboli says at 10:12 am, June 28th, 2008

    He doesn’t need much space, since his wife is only “green-screened” into the room and doesn’t actually ever visit him.

  43. anchorslut says at 11:01 pm, July 29th, 2008

    Ah Norm, you live in the basement cause your wife can’t stand you at home and doesn’t even want you in the doghouse in the same state! It’s so bad that you two can’t even do a commercial together. Makes me wonder what guy you’re sharing that apartment with on those cold nights.

    mnanchors.blogspot.com

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