Wonkette
God, David Brooks is a sap. His new terrible column is addressed to God — “God, Republicans are saps.” — and then it drags out some tortured split-personality analogy (”Dr. Barack” and, uh, “Fast Eddie”) that is supposed to suggest that Hopeful Obama is also an ambitious politician and may be “in it to win it.”
And then Brooks uses “throw under the truck” like fifty fucking times in an 800-word column, and the NYT editors hate him so much, they didn’t even correct it to “under the bus.”
Dear NYT: Please fire him, so he can go back to some wingnut newsletter. And also fire Kristol, who already has a wingnut newsletter to write for. And then hire our Peggy Noonan for your token conservative, because it’s nice when a columnist can, you know, write.
The Two Obamas [New York Times]
The bus has broken down from rolling over everything thrown under it. Hence the truck.
In related news:
Investment bankers “in it to make money,” rock stars “in it for drugs, fame and unbelievably glamorous pussy,” and Brittney Spears “in it for anything her whore-y little ass can get.”
Shocking world out there. Thank God for David Brooks.
Dear David,
Please stop mentioning me. You do NOT want to see what functions as a restraining order up here.
Best of Luck (LOL),
God
When you said “Fast Eddie” i thought you were going to mention my buddy Ed Rendell… seriously, i live across from his mansion… thankfully, i have yet to catch a glimpse of him walking out to get the paper in nothing more than a towel… or maybe a blanket in his case…
Who the fuck is Fast Eddie, anyway? Wikipedia says he’s “an African American house music producer from Chicago, Illinois”. Maybe I’m just not elite or bobo enough to get the reference?
Two Obamas? Cool. One of them can have the VP slot. Win!
But I agree with him: Obama is not naive. I believe John McCain holds that title, especially for authoring election funding reform that’s designed to Fail. And detainee treatment legislation that’s designed to Epic Fail.
So did he make up those talking points or did he just filter them through his shit writing? Because it looks like the latte/volvo/abortion meme was just thrown under the bus.
David Brooks, bringing the dull bread knife to the gunfight of metaphors.
Fast Eddie is Ed Rendell in PA.
Somehow, the Brooks article made me like Obama more.
He gives pink shirts everywhere a bad name.
David also believes in “No pain no increase.”
Christ, David is the Michael Bolton of political writers.
Without RTFA, I’m going to have to back Brooks on this one. I don’t think Barry should sully the perfection of his Rainbows n’ Unicorns Agenda by actually, y’know, doing what it takes to win the election.
That would be, like, ick.
AxmxZ: It’s true that trucks have higher ground clearance.
I don’t suppose he’s referring to the “Fast Eddie” of the movie “The Hustler”, played by Paul Newman, in glorious black and white, supported by George C. Scott as an incredibly smarmy tout/gambler, and Jackie Gleason as Minnesota Fats, doing all his own virtuoso pool shots? I better read the article and find out.
jagorev: They’re trying the con man script they used on Clinton (”he may be white trash, but he’s smart so you can’t trust him!”). Because, you know, Republicans don’t lose unless Democrats cheat. Rezko will probably some play in his next column.
Jesus, Brooks is such a fucking nerd.
Nice try, Brooks — like Republicans everywhere, you’re mad because McCrone has painted himself into a corner with his agreement to take public financing that he can’t get out of, and now he’s not allowed to spend any money and Obama is basically peeing on him and laughing — but you can’t mention that because it would make McCrone look like a silly old fool who doesn’t even understand a law he prominently co-sponsored. Which is accurate, but — you know — some voters might take that the wrong way.
Also — you hyphenate “cuttthroat?” What a dweeb.
Oh — and why is it that when I see most photos of you, I tend to picture you in a pink bonnet and holding an all-day sucker?
You’re better off just shutting up and not drawing attention to McCrone’s idiocy and self-imposed golden shower — and the only reason I’m giving you that advice is because I know you won’t take it. Suckers.
jagorev: Damn, Barry is versatile.
David Brooks: Reminding me with every word he types that white people have PLENTY to be embarrassed about.
those frames are like the ones they gave me when i
was down state for a few [too many] years.
i doubt that he got his frames down state cause he’s
like, you know, still alive.
Brooks…Brooks…isn’t he that guy that wrote “Bobos in Brazil”.
No, wait…
But no one has asked the important question: does said truck have Trucknutz?
We can start throwing things from trains, like we did with momma.
Spence: brilliant!
also, two words: closeted pedophile
(that would be brooks not Spence)
TGY: Plus, more room for TRUCKNUTZ
Hell, BO could come out as Crazy Eddie, and smash a turntable with a hammer, and I’d still vote for him. David Brooks is a Punk Ass Bitch.
There’s only one
“Fast Eddie” in Chicaguh.
Advocatus_Diaboli: What do you think the truck uses to crush people? Barry calls it the Teabag Express.
So, I guess Brooks had to write this long, boring article because the NYT wouldn’t pay him for the more succinct:
“Bwaaaaahh! It’s no fair! Barry’s too good at this politics thing!”
I find it hilarious that Brooks thinks conservatives actually believe that Barry is naive. Poor, poor Brooksie. The political world is a big mean ol’ bitch, ain’t it?
Round 1: Barry is a naive waif who will sell ‘merica to terrorists.
Round 2: Barry is the evil prince with Chicago mob connections who will torture puppies to win.
Round 3: Barry will issue edicts to “kill whitey” and race riots will erupt across the land.
Round 4: Did we mention he’s NOT LIKE YOU?!?!
gjdodger: So he’s suggesting that Barry should be under federal indictment for wire fraud? Isn’t that, uh, libel?
Nice the NYT lets Floyd the Barber have his own column.
http://tommcmahon.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/redfloyd.jpg
Dide wears lipstick. Q….E….D.
Uh, that was supposed to be Dude…shit….
The picture proves it! He’s a dickhead! Oh, wait, that’s Scandinavia
What. a. Douchebag. Everytime I hear his moronic ass speak on NPR I am reminded of WHY I do not contribute. I mean, damn; the guy makes zero sense. And he is a total bitch.
jagorev: I think you’ve hit on the explanation. I don’t think they even make Bus Nutz.
David: Sally Jesse Raphael called, and she wants her glasses back now.
Department of Metaphors That Make No Sense
“….he threw his voting power under the truck.”
Fast Eddie is Fast Eddie Vrydoliak, who was one of the most corrupt hack politicians in Chicago back in the 1970s when I lived there. Brooks is like McCain–he doesn’t seem to realize that referring to things from a generation ago–and not bothering to explain them for the under-65 set–just makes you look like an old coot.
also, do you know how many hits you get when you Google: “David Brooks”, douche?
Uncle Al: Actually, research reveals that the original “Fast Eddie” was Eddie Rickenbacker: World War I fighter ace, Medal of Honor recipient, race car driver, and the first man to drive a mile a minute -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Rickenbacker
Who knew David Brooks was giving Obama a compliment?
Deepthroat: 878. You get a hundred more with “douchebag.”
Dave, you neglected to compare Barry to the Signifying Monkey. You’re slipping, Dave. Slipping. Plus you’re a fucking Canadian.
Deepthroat: Have you complained about all of the sub wrappers and Slurpee cups on the front lawn yet?
Uncle Al: Keep on trucking!
I vote that every time your read something by David Brooks you should imagine a barbershop quartet singing in the background, boys wearing plus fours and newsies caps rolling hoops, frosty-mugs of sasparilla, sepia-toned photographs of WWI veterans, and people using the word “halcyon” without irony. Yowza! Twenty-three skidoo! Bees knees! & such.
SayItWithWookies: Agreed. Makes me wonder if in some way Hopey has already set the board in his favor, like he did in the primaries figuring out to go for delegates rather than votes. That’s why the recent attacks by Brooks n’ Gerson smell like dungdust.
S.Luggo: you have no idea… and by the way, the mansion is in the middle of a not so great area of the ‘Burg as we Harrisburgians like to call it to help pretend that we actually live in any other ‘burg than the Harris variety.
Who the heck is David Brooks, and why should anyone care about him? What a blowhard.
Dr. Barack, the high-minded, Niebuhr-quoting speechifier who spent this past winter thrilling the Scarlett Johansson set and feeling the fierce urgency of now.
Is Obama paying Brooks to write this shit? Even McCain is going to end up voting for him when he reads stuff like that.
I like Dr. Barack. Dr of what, precisely? Healing the Nations woes?
RuperttheBear: Yeah, like Montgomery Burns. People compare McCain to Grampaw Simpson, but he’s kinda Mr. Burns too.
Boo-erns! Boo-erns!
WadISay: Brooks is tripping from a second-hand Obama high.
WadISay: feeling the fierce urgency of now… to make my dead….line…..
Of course it goes without saying that McCain has taken the high road and is not in the election to win it…oh wait - that will actually be true!
And then hire our Peggy Noonan for your token conservative, because it’s nice when a columnist can, you know, write.
Peggy Noonan learned to write?
“I have to admit, I’m ambivalent watching all this. On the one hand, Obama did sell out the primary cause of his professional life, all for a tiny political advantage.”
In what universe is HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS “a tiny political advantage”? Brooks, for God’s sake, siddown and shuddup. You have everything ass-backwads as usual. Obama *took* a tiny political hit - tiny because 98% of the electorate either doesn’t know anything about the public/private financing hoopla or doesn’t care about it. What he gained was not a “tiny political advantage” but the absolute assurance that he will spend McCain into the poorhouse months before the election.
Said it before, will say it again: Barry is not Lord Savior, he is Lord Vetinari. (To the extent that anyone besides Bloomberg can be Lord Vetinari, of course. If Bloomberg runs as his VP, they might as well campaign in matching dark-green cloaks.)
What do you expect from David Brooks? He’s Canadian.
That’s so funny. Is Brooks reading Wonkette? If so, I have a question for him. Are you reading this, Brooks? So, assuming you were correct when you wrote not all that long ago that the conservative movement post-Katrina was irrelevant and destined to fade away, and I do believe that you were correct, sir, why the fuck should we care what you have to say now?
best column ever man
“But as recent weeks have made clear, Barack Obama is the most split-personality politician in the country today.”
That there is some shiddy writing.
Isn’t having “an army of small donors” a good thing?
obfuscator: as opposed to HRC who is a split tail politician.
Deepthroat: I drive by the fat boy’s gubernatorial manse each weekday after I dodge the city’s one source of substantial revenue: the speed trap just up the road. Although I must say that H’Burg does make a pretty penny on the bullet casings and Colt bottles collected from the streets after each weekend.
Between chomps on a side of beef, Ed said last spring that he doesn’t want the VP slot. He was just being coy. Anyway, the Dems tried a Flaming Liberal Tree Hugger + a Jew ticket in 2000. Did not work, Ed.
What I’ve learned from this thread: the capital city of Pennsylvania is Harrisburg. Until today, I had never heard of such a place. I mean, even during the Pennsylvania primary, I don’t think Hillary claimed to be from there.
It’s not under a truck. It’s under a series of tubes.
David Brooks is such a bobo elitist. He won’t use mass transit. Buses are good enough for the littles, but he insists upon throwing folks under a truck.
great caricature of Brooks in, Vanity Fair under the topic politics & power. notice, McCain walnutz resting on Brooks shoulder.
matthews and gregory absent on msnbc today… meet the press interviews?????
brian williams is absent too.
David Brooks has a red wig that he wears when he masturbates to pictures of Barack Obama while dictating his columns to an intern. That’s why they don’t make any sense.
Optimus Prime just wants a piece of the action!
queeraselvis v 2.0: yeah, those glasses are perfect. what is there a book out about how to absolutely dress and act like a dweeb. I’ll bet he puts on a suit when he goes to radio interviews
So Barack’s got the decision tree where he either cedes the fate of the free world (and the unfree world) to a vision of continuing military misadventures, continuing collusion of crimes at the highest levels, loss of civil liberties, throwing the poor under a bus, despoilment of the environment and a rightward warp of the Supreme Court. Or he takes advantage of popular sentiment that gave him the money and uses it. Cause the Republicans will surely not intentionally mischaracterize either candidate. And moneyed interests will surely not try to influence this election. And the administration surely would not use it’s current position of power to somehow influence the election. That would be wrong.
But it’s more important children throughout the world go to bed knowing the public financing system of the US is robust.
Interesting priorities.
I registered here purely because Wonkette came up first when (after reading this article) I typed into Google News: Fuck David Brooks
So, please allow me to reiterate: Fuck David Brooks.
What’s so nasty about this article is that he must understand what’s really going on, but he also understands how he can spin the real story into this nasty piece of character assassination.
Ashamed to admit, I kind of used to respect the guy. No more.
I know that Brooks meant this as a putdown, but I for one want to say that I admire “Scarlett Johannsen’s set”.