Wonkette
HA HA, THAT LARRY GUY’S IN JAIL NOW: So that career criminal who somehow rented (with John McCain’s American Express?) the Holeman Lounge (ha ha, “holeman”) at the National Press Club today, to give a “press conference” about how he dreams of having gay drug murder sex with famous presidents such as Barack Obama, was arrested by the Police for various petty outstanding crimes against humanity, right after his pathetic performance, the end. [Reason]
That criminal Larry guy would be…Craig or Sinclair? I can never get those two guys straight.
Ha-HAH!
Dude - tell me you have pictures of the frog march.
Hahahaha this guy is so fucked even his *lawyer* had no license to practice.
Perp Walk Pix Now
Somewhere in Paulville, a Paultard hangs his head and cries.
Sinclair was asked who funded the event (donors, over the internet), how he made his living (he’s on disability), and whether Obama was “well hung” (I’m not going to dignify his answer here).
Is it petty that I’m upset that Reason Magazine wouldn’t dignify Larry’s last answer? I need something to work with here.
. It got worse when Sinclair’s lawyer Montgomery Sibley—whose license is currently suspended in D.C. and Florida—showed up in a kilt and told reporters that his above-average endowment made slacks tight and uncomfortable.
Silver-tongued devil. They probably pulled his law licenses in D.C. and Florida out of jealousy.
shortsshortsshorts: Oh don’t you worry, the Reason commenters are already in full “the police were ordered to shut him up!” mode.
You all already heard about how his lawyer wore a skirt because his schlong was too big for pants, right? Golden.
Also, these are Larry’s demands of Senator Obama.
1. Why won’t Senator Obama provide his cellphone numbers and telephone records for all his personal and official cell phones held by him for the time period of November 3, 1999 thru November 8, 1999, when we met?
2. Why won’t Senator Obama provide his cellphone numbers and telephone records for all his personal and official cell phones held by Senator Obama or September 2007 – December 23, 2008, the murder of Donald Young?
3. Why won’t Senator Obama provide all email communication both personal and campaign related to and/or from AKP Message & Media from January 18, 2008 through February 29, 2008 for Senator Obama, David Axelrod and David Plouffe?
4. Why won’t Senator Obama provide proof of all payments made from AKP Message & Media, Obama for America, David Axelrod, David Plouffe, and Senator Obama’s accounts for the period of January 18, 2008 through February 29, 2008?
This is awkward, but I totally agree with Sinclair here. I want Barry’s number too!
And just yesterday Wonkette was bombarded with Sinclairtards. This is truly a victory for Wonketters, large and small, black and white (everyone except mooslims).
I hope they give him the extra slippery soap.
shortsshortsshorts: A Paultard cries….cuz his Velveeta is all covered in cat hair now! ooo.
Jesus, this guy is the Jose Canseco of politics, but with 25% less credibility.
ronaldpagan: INORITE? What a long-winded way to say “OMG BARRY I LUV U SO MUCH CALL ME!!!”
ronaldpagan:
I’m sure Larry replied that Barry’s junk unleashed a vicious personal attack on his prostate.
/I’m gross
Death penalty.
Gopherit v2.0: Aww, you beat me! Damn commenter lag. But these fuckers are hilarious; someone needs to give Sinclair and his overly-endowed lawyer their own talk show.
shortsshortsshorts: OMG, what posts were bombed with Sinclairtards? I wanna read!
Who throws cheese? Seriously!
Ah yes, the “massive schlong” strategem — an old legal chestnut, first popularized by Felix Frankfurter in the Sacco & Vanzetti defense. Of course, it was called the “unwieldy phallus” defense back then.
Darehead: He’s more like the John Mark Karr of politics. You know, minus the kiddie touching.
shortsshortsshorts: Sintards. Easier on the tongue.
Darehead: Larry Craig’s wife keeps trying, but nobody’s gonna get that man straight.
Darehead: *corrected.
ronaldpagan: It was so bad that our editor pulled the thread down mid-afternoon yesterday. I think it was the same guy that kept giving movie recommendations.
El Bombastico:
Other well-known/well-hung barristers include Johnny Cockran and Atticus “Superpenis” Finch.
Darehead:
Sinclairtons?
shortsshortsshorts: Ohhhh the movie recommendations guy! He was a hoot! And yeah, I was wondering why that “Pubic Speaking” thread got shut down.
SuperRounder: sorry bout that, that should have started obfuscator:
ronaldpagan: You know, the “pubic speaking” thread. You were there. It just vanished, like the island in Lost, the 12-year old Paultard, Obama’s virginity….
Later on, I had my name legally changed first to La-Rye A. Silvas, and then La-Rye Vizcarra Avila. The last two were legal name changes granted by the court in Penal County Superior Court, Florence Arizona.
Those are some of the best peyote-induced aliases ever.
I have to point out, however, that it’s Pinal NOT Penal. Dude has dick on the brain.
I’d sooner believe that Harriet Christian had gave a limo hummer to Barry than Larry did. Maybe she did considering how she keeps screaming Barry’s inadequate and all.
But seriously, a fitting finale to the Sinclair story.
obfuscator: No, use his weird-ass alias. La-Ryesians.
shortsshortsshorts: Well Ken probably did us a favor. This fellow dragged three other blog commenters into court for insulting him on some other blog. (I think one of them may have sent a thank you to Mitch and Nan for giving all of the local authorities the heads up on his outstanding warrants).
BTW, can Larry still collect his disability checks in jail?
Now he can have all the Gay sex he wants with Brutus!! Yay!!!
Slutty_Chola_Cobbler: I object.
The bit I like best is Larry’s statement about where he got the Mohamed alias.
This is the best. The crazy lawyer is the icing on the cake. America, you are one funny dame.
The press conference!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6w4Dl8QcY0&e
I can’t wait until big burly brothers start asking him in prison: “So, what are you in here for, snowflake?”
WIDTAP: Strangely, none of us did anything illegal or too overly-insulting (however I did tell the tard he was born out of his mother’s ass after he wouldn’t stop GOING AND GOING AND GOING).
AxmxZ: I was about to say:
There’s plenty of cock waiting for him.
ronaldpagan: “Sinclair was asked … whether Obama was “well hung” (I’m not going to dignify his answer here).” “Is it petty that I’m upset that Reason Magazine wouldn’t dignify Larry’s last answer? I need something to work with here.”
Yeah, RP, it is kinda petty but since you’re so hung up on this issue, I have the low-down for ya, Madame Size Queen.
When asked that question, Sinclair responded: “I don’t want to get too specific, but let’s just say that my lawyer Sibley has nothing on Senator Obamboo.”
Happy now, my horny sistah?
Canuckledragger: HOLY CRAP how much dick does that guy eat anyway? JEEBUS.
Is this a classic stupid criminal story where a guy with a warrant tells the world that he is holding a press conference and then gets surprised when law enforcement picks him up?
Darehead: Like that one News Briefing that showed up at 3 a.m…
With out the good folks at http://themitchandnanshow.wordpress.com Sinclair would not be in prison, not would most of what is known about him be out there. Give ‘em some props, folks! Reason did research this story - they did
mothermaven: Must be a conspiracy!
And how long before the new ban feature gets a work out from the Sintards?
ManchuCandidate: Somehow I doubt Harriet’s given a hummer since she yanked Millard Fillmore’s crank.
ronaldpagan: The post a few days ago about this event was bombed by a sintard who has his own Sintard blog. I believe the owners took the post down.
hbeeinc: Big props to Mitch and Nan.
Let’s give them an official Wonkette golf clap everyone.
shortsshortsshorts: Gawddamn, shorts, you’re the one always telling people to “eat a dick, eat many dicks,” and now you’re shocked that this toad wants to go for a world dick-eating record? He’s a fuckin’ Olympian, my good man. Even a “Canadian” can “understand” this. Why can’t you?
shortsshortsshorts: I hope the big, stinky guy with the mean streak takes him for his bitch.
OT, but, now that you can get gay-married in California, can prison roommates get “make it legit”?
Canuckledragger: Larry and I have so much in common! Right down to the outstanding warrants. But if that’s true, how come Barry’s not sashaying around in a skirt?
Regarding the cat. Damn Ninjas.
Canuckledragger: Your right. He’s a goddamned record holder *respect to sintard*. I didn’t know teh gaiz were in Canada though. I thought you people were a socialist-muslim-fascist state? That’s what Reagan told us in the 60’s, at least. ARE YOU QUESTIONING RONALD REAGAN???
Some video of the Q&A session:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6w4Dl8QcY0
Gopherit v2.0: My hero!
What’s wrong with this guy?
Gopherit v2.0: Damn, didn’t see that. My bad, sorry.
WadISay: You drove me to do some research (because I am STUCK AT A DESK at 6pm) but it appears the answer is “yes.” Gay marriages hold all the same rights as regular marriages, and in California inmates can marry. Back to snark.
shortsshortsshorts: Dude, gay marriage has been legal here in Canuckistan for some years. Oddly, however, they forgot to rewrite the regs regarding divorce, so teh gays and only teh gays must REMAIN married. Oops. Oversight. Boy, were our faces red, blah blah blah.
[Congrats on your recent evolution, and BTW: fuckin' great news that the lesbian couple who've been together since '53 were the first to make it official. HUGE slap in the face for all the retard fundies who think teh gays are only interested in anonymous one-niters. How many straights have stayed together for 55 years, with or without benefit of a "license?"]
As for Reagan, hit YouTube for footage of that dumb fuck and Nancy doing a barbershop quartet butchery of “When Irish Eyes Are Smiling” with OUR dumb fuck Lyin’ Brian Mulroney with his Mrs. Mila. IN PUBLIC! HERE!!! ON A STATE VISIT!!!! I shit you not, shorts. [I have shit my shorts, but that's another story and best not dwelt upon.]
Looks like Jeff Gannon turned him in, to me. These crazy ass publicity queens with their penchant for kissing and telling can’t stand to cede one inch of turf.
WIDTAP:
Golf Clap executed. All systems go….
Any questions regarding Mr. Sibley’s unwieldy phallus can be directed to him at the phone number and email address he provides on the national press club page:
http://npc.press.org/calendar/caldbevent.cfm?eventid=15742
Hello kinda-lawyer new daddy!
Dear Steve O’Hearn, Chair, New Media Committee, National Press Club,
Did Sinclair’s appearance today confirm your evident suspicion that there’s some kind of Google conspiracy against this guy of whom you had somehow never heard before you looked him up on Google?
I mean, he got arrested and everything. Google is probably behind that, with covert backing from those ruffians over at FireDogLake. I trust nobody but the National Press Club, and you in particular, to get to the bottom of this. You’re letting us down here, man.
Not that I think the First Amendment means what your blog thinks it means, necessarily.
shortsshortsshorts:
There is no “Ronald Reagan.” Only ronaldpagan. Bow to your Wonkette overlord.
CometHasTheFloor:
The chair, new media committee CANNOT have that name. It’s unimportant why…..
ronaldpagan: Hey, he has 100% Hawaiian black snake, and it ain’t too goddamn beau coupes!
CometHasTheFloor: Or at least to trust the press club to get down to the bottom around here…..hell, they already let him have a press conference.
El Bombastico: If the penis won’t fit, you must acquit?
ronaldpagan: [in a discerning Glinda voice]: R U a good Sintard or a bad Sintard?
Gopherit v2.0: Let’s suspend moral cares
And feed him to bears.
Actually, he wasn’t arrested on the Colorado warrant, which doesn’t sem active. DELAWARE (the corporates!) apparently issued a warrant for him at the last minute so the feds could kidnap him.
That’s what you get for discussing the emporer’s lack of clothes in postmodern Amerika.
Didn’t wonkette.com promise first-person coverage of this event? It seems someone was negligent.
Darehead: ronaldpagan: We welcome you to the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild…
Quacker: Newbie.
FunkyPalmettoBug: Gopherit v2.0: Thanks for this hilarious press conference clip! But I think I missed the part about Barry’s cock…
Darehead: “Sintard” is really catching on! I would say “Lets ask Sintard for t-shirt rights,” but he would probably get on his knees and start bloing us (ALLEGEDLY).
Gopherit v2.0: Oh Christ ROTF
ronaldpagan: Size-queen. Just be happy Hopey’s lawyer won’t say,”If the schlong’s too wee, set him free.” Don’t want that to become the obama defense.
Canuckle? Where’d you get your quote from? Inquiring minds and all that.
hbeeinc: YAY BROWNSHIRTS! Enemies of the regime must be imprisoned.
Gopherit v2.0: The only person on the defense now is Larry (cocklovin’) Sinclair, AGAIN.
shortsshortsshorts: Isn’t Sintard the one who went to Bosnia with Hillary?
graceless: Darehead:
Somewhere over the rainbow
Full of noobs
There’s a 12-year-old Paultard,
Larry talks with his pubes.
The first time I found out about the Wonkette black hole was the mysterious removal of Tony Zirkle and the Porn Dragon. Why did they take that down? It was funny.
ronaldpagan: If you’re referring to his comedy, I would call him “Badtard.”
I wish I was making this up, but the pinch hitter for Sinclair(as he’s in the pokey) started thread implying something about the Rezko trial. And the brain donors over there are saying that Obama’s minions stole Sinclair’s luggage from the DC airport:
# Moma Says:
Wednesday, June 18, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Oh, I forgot to tell you all. His luggage is still missing!
# terry h Says:
Wednesday, June 18, 2008 at 9:45 pm
It’s not a good thing that his luggage is missing. I would venture to say that a possible set up is happening. Maybe a little dope in the lining or something to that effect. You need to get it OUT there in the media that this is going on. Otherwise they may try filing additional bogus charges against him.
And they blame Joe Biden for this arrest lol
Gopherit v2.0: El Bombastico: I love you both! If it’s less than an acre, Sinclair’s a muck-raker.
Gormogon: No, but those indicted on “run of the mill” felonies….I’m pretty okay with that.
Helllooooo…..banhammer?
FunkyPalmettoBug: Hahaha! Oh, Barry, Barry, Barry, how many times do I need to tell you? If you want a duffel bag full of poppers and cock rings, all you have to do is ask!
Gopherit v2.0: Yeah…what was up with Gormogon bringing the Emperor’s New Clothes into this? No one uses Hans Christian Andersen for evil and gets away with it!
ronaldpagan: Obama just wanted a souvenir of that fantastic night lmao.
SuperRounder: Forgot about that sorry excuse for a human. Guys like that make ya start to like waterboarding.
Gopherit v2.0: I actually want to change my name to Florence Arizona. That would be amazing.
Quacker: I missed this one! Awwww shucks thanks!
ronaldpagan: Florence Arizona…that’s McCain’s porn name…
ronaldpagan: You wouldn’t say that if you’ve seen it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florence,_Arizona
Gopherit v2.0: Cheez, there is a Pinal County. How do you know that shit? Methoughts you were from Gopher State.
Gopherit v2.0:
http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&q=florence%20arizona&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wl
I clicked it, started thinking about Phoenix for some reason, and came up with this link. Un.fucking.believable.
Darehead: Nope Arizona, born ad bred….which is wh I’m one of Walnuts!’s biggest fans.
shortsshortsshorts: Yup. Florence might not be the asshole of Arizona, but it’s near the taint. 20,000 prisoners can’t be wrong.
Gopherit v2.0: Ah well, you’re above average anyway.
Gopherit v2.0: I thought WALNUTS! was the asshole of Arizona?
shortsshortsshorts: Gopherit v2.0: The empress asshole is surely Paultard Queen über-wombed 9/11 Troofer Karen Johnson.
http://www.azleg.gov/MembersPage.asp?Member_ID=79&legislature=48
Among her many efforts to advocate small government and family values, she is sponsoring a bill to make a “National Day of the Cowboy”:
Whereas, pioneering men and women in Arizona, known as cowboys, helped establish the American West; and
Whereas, the cowboy embodies honesty, integrity, courage, compassion,
respect, a strong work ethic and patriotism; and
Whereas, the cowboy spirit exemplifies strength of character, sound
family values and good common sense…
Gopherit v2.0: Our states are neighbors! Is it true that Arizona might potentially go Democrat in November? That’s what I’m hearing. http://washingtonindependent.com/view/mccain-campaign
shortsshortsshorts: And Cindy is its cunt.
Darehead: WORK EXPERIENCE
“I am a firm believer in mothers making any sacrifice they can to be home with their children if at all possible, however, when my husband suffered a serious back problem and it became necessary for me to seek employment outside the home, I chose to serve in the public policy arena in government.”
YES. SEXY.
Darehead: Don’t you mean “likable enough”?
Darehead: I remember her; you posted that link a while ago! This broad, Phyliis Schlafly, and any other bitches who hate women’s rights so much need to get the fuck back in the kitchen and out of the public arena.
But, like Karen, I STRONGLY advocate a National Gay Cowboy Day. This is one case where big government needs to step in and force us to recognize our brave, homosexual cowboys and all the dicks they’ve sucked for freedom.
ronaldpagan: That’s right. Just ask Big John.
Canuckledragger: Yeah, I am definitely checking out that Reagan clip. And it is great news about marriage; all the pictures pouring in from gay weddings are beautiful. But of course it would be LESBIANS staying together since ‘53. The male butt-pirates (like Barry) are more about the anonymous one-night stands. And more power to them.
ronaldpagan: Yes, she is one thoroughly snark-worthy Wonkable nutcase kinda moran gal.
As for National Gay Cowboy Day (and we are going to stay on topic here): we can all celebrate it with Larry and Big John in the Holeman Lounge .
CometHasTheFloor: Yeah, Hillary was likable enough. Gopherit, whom I thought was Minnesotan, truly not just likable, but Keillorsquian “above average.”
Darehead: I suppose I can grant that premise.
Darehead: I miss the days when we had whore diamonds to denote our respective likability. I had four! (Of course that was also because I got banned all the time.)
ronaldpagan: I thought you went off to play Scrabble. I was ambivalent about stars and diamonds, but now that we’ve been here without ‘em I can see the elitist merits of accumulating frequent Wonker miles and flaunting our connectivity. I think Newbies assumed the stars were for quality rather than quantity, so they hated them.
But hey, we’re all quality!!! (now I’ll probably get banned….)
Darehead: SmokeFilledRoommate stood me up, that whore. So I decided to take some ambien and post here until I fall into a deep, hallucinatory sleep. But yes, stars are more about quantity than quality. Pretty much EVERY comment post on Wonkette was funny or funny and informative. Any time an unfunny post showed up it would be Tony the Tiger without fail. Now that any 9/11-truther, Sinbot, Citizen for McCain, or illiterate can waltz into Wonkette and get an account, we need stars to separate the wheat from the chaff. I don’t carer if the Nazis did the same thing.
I went to the same church as Monty Sibley for a little while, and he wears a kilt to church as well, though he just told me he was proud of his Scottish heritage.
He also told me he was suing the Supreme Court. Apparently his fight continues (http://tinyurl.com/45yfns).
Can his eccentricity be somewhat excused by the fact that he is pretty much local aristocracy, coming from the local gentry families that make up his name (q.v. Montgomery County, Blair High School, Sibley Hospital)? Dunno.
Damn. I was hoping he’d be around in November. He was so evil, which I love.
…and, concluding his speech, he stepped off the podium and into the arms of his adoring public. So adoring were they that they refused to release him for a number of months, thus proving that a lovely personality will always find a true home and a welcome reception.
The Rev. James David “54DD” Manning and his family was there?! WHAT?!? That’s just crazy. That would have been worth the train ride down to see. Crack, blowjobs, and the pimpin’ white women and black women.
I think I know what this calls for!
Damn. Can’t post images on the new blog? That sucks. Here’s the URL:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3140/2592140137_4930d972b6.jpg?v=0
Gopherit v2.0: Geez, y’all are touchy. These twitchy calls for censorship belie the “tolerant” and “cynical” posturing. At worst, Obama is responsible for the death of three dead gay choirboys. McCain killed like 167 people on the USS Forrestal. Your guy is way ahead in the dead innocents count (scored like golf). You can campaign on that! Change you can believe in!!!
” These twitchy calls for censorship belie the “tolerant” and “cynical” posturing.”
There’s no need to be “tolerant” to ignorant trolls. The customer is not always right, not everyone is sane and coherent, and truth does not usually lie square in the middle of two opposing points.
Your messiah against the evil, hopelessly dark Obama is a lifetime grifter at the very least with severe mental/drug issues, possibly with cancer eating his brain whole.
You however have no excuse for being less intelligent and more gullible
Maus: That was AWESOME. You are my hero.