AND JUSTICE FOR ALL  1:29 am June 18, 2008

by Ken Layne

WE ARE TOO BUSY COVERING THE LATEST SEX SCANDAL IN WASHINGTON TO KNOW ABOUT BLOGS VS. THE ASSOCIATED PRESS: The AP wanted a blog to not quote the AP, which is lame and anti-legal and whatever, so then the Justice League of Bloggers held a secret meeting in the AP’s underground lair, in space, and now our former corporate overlords at Gawker are being accused of being “some kid” for not giving respect knuckles to the invisible blogger alliance of justice, because of the “latest sex scandal in Washington.” [Gawker]


Hola wonkerados.

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AngryBlakGuy June 18, 2008 at 1:27 am

…dibs on Green Lantern!

FreshCliches June 18, 2008 at 1:28 am

The Paultards were right. It’s the rise of the New Blogosphere Order, led by the Commenters of Foreign Relations and the Bilderblog Group.

shortsshortsshorts June 18, 2008 at 1:39 am

5 words????

Assocated Press Willingly Loves Cock.

AngryBlakGuy June 18, 2008 at 1:45 am

[re=18636]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: …oh c’mon shorts, you have better material than that! How about “Bend over and take it”; 5 letters that describe our current situation!!!

ronaldpagan June 18, 2008 at 1:45 am

Sorry but I don’t really understand blog wars, nor do I care enough to. However, the AP sounds a lot more juvenile and snotty in its post than Ryan Tate does in his.

ronaldpagan June 18, 2008 at 1:47 am

[re=18638]ronaldpagan[/re]: *Media Bloggers, whoever they are, not AP.

Inadequate Blackmail June 18, 2008 at 1:57 am

You mean there are other blogs out there besides Wonkette? Won’t they clog the tubes?

ronaldpagan June 18, 2008 at 2:05 am

I’m part of the problem because I read this title and immediately thought “Sweet! Early morning Washington sex scandal!”

NotUrEvryDayWEzl June 18, 2008 at 2:12 am

“Just to make sure I don’t get sued, I want to state once and for all that I have ALWAYS and will forever continue to insert invisible quotation marks in all of my verbal and written communication and appending invisible citations referencing the numerous sources from when the meaning of those words arise using MLA format at the insistence of my professors” (Me, 18 June 2008 2:13 AM EDT at

NotUrEvryDayWEzl June 18, 2008 at 2:13 am

[re=18643]ronaldpagan[/re]: ME TOO

ronaldpagan June 18, 2008 at 2:26 am

[re=18646]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: Can we invent one? Joe Lieberman Caught With Dominatrix. The twat is not quite Republican enough to be gay, but everything about him screams “submissive.”

pattycake June 18, 2008 at 2:31 am

Obama should wear the green action figure suit more often.

RaptorAvatar June 18, 2008 at 2:42 am

[re=18649]ronaldpagan[/re]: Holocaust roleplaying. “Get in the ‘shower,’ Joe. I don’t care if it looks hot. You weren’t complaining when I poured hot wax on your chest.”

RaptorAvatar June 18, 2008 at 2:43 am

[re=18633]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I want batman. Mainly because I have no actual superpowers.

ronaldpagan June 18, 2008 at 2:46 am

[re=18651]RaptorAvatar[/re]: Oh my God, that’s awful. And that would make the dominatrix Hagee. Two birds, one stone.

Darehead June 18, 2008 at 2:48 am

Speaking of blogs, Gawker, and sex, Canucks say that blogging is the new smoking. Until AP gets in the way.
(Disclaimer: this article, however, does not speak for some of us, who are here only for the politicky wittiness.)

ronaldpagan June 18, 2008 at 3:00 am

[re=18654]Darehead[/re]: Only in Canada would blogging be MORE likely to get you laid. My Wonkette addiction is a shameful secret that I would never tell anyone in real life. Sometimes I’ll be hanging out with someone and realize, say, the RBC meeting is about to make its decision about Florida and Michigan, and I’ll be like, “I have to go, um, have sex with a horse onstage so I can afford to buy crack. Yes, that is why I have to go. Definitely not to exchange limericks about Lanny Davis with my imaginary friends on the internet.”

Smoke Filled Roommate June 18, 2008 at 3:01 am

Hey man, it’s all news..
And the added fact that it’s obtained from the interwub means it’s truer.

[re=18649]ronaldpagan[/re]: He was caught in a madrasa, er no, a hadassah, wait no.. a hairdresser.

trai_dep June 18, 2008 at 3:36 am

A day with surreally well-defined men with ample baskets wearing clingy Spandex is much better than a day without. So I say…

Sorry, I was distracting by my own mental imagery. Where were we?

trai_dep June 18, 2008 at 3:39 am

Very distracted. Distracting = distracted, above.

Vanity Smurf June 18, 2008 at 4:15 am

[re=18649]ronaldpagan[/re]: Maybe, but she’ll need to be wearing an SS uniform like with that Formula One geezer in London.

In my mind, Holy Joe is more of an infantilist who has to suck on various things while wearing a full diaper. That’s why he and McNasty are such good friends, they go to the same sex parties.

Darehead June 18, 2008 at 4:27 am

[re=18643]ronaldpagan[/re]: I had Coulter in mind myself, but if Vanity is correct there ain’t much to suck on.

schvitzatura June 18, 2008 at 5:53 am

Wonder Twin Power, activate! Shape of a Malabar Large Spotted Civet; form of a noctilucent cloud…

I have dibs on Gleek.

Still, Superman never made any money / Saving the world from Solomon Grundy…

Servo June 18, 2008 at 5:54 am

So the AP wants to have exclusive rights on conversation? Kinda defeats the reason for their very existence.

Borat June 18, 2008 at 6:04 am

What’s great about Mr. MBAs email is that he somehow he thinks writing a snarky letter will get him somewhere. I guess being Mr. MBA allows him to be snarky in his professional business communiques.

WIDTAP June 18, 2008 at 7:25 am

I hear AP has trademarked the term “Fair Use” and will now charge each of us $50 per use… oops, damn!

Godless Liberal * June 18, 2008 at 8:19 am

[re=18655]ronaldpagan[/re]: No kidding. I tell my wife I’m cruising swingers sites rather than admit to coming here.

MoodProcessor June 18, 2008 at 8:22 am

I’m the Blue Raja…

dmac June 18, 2008 at 8:38 am

Ha ha, that dude’s name is Robert Cox.

gurukalehuru June 18, 2008 at 9:17 am

Actually, I’m withholding judgment on the MBA. They might, as seems to be the general consensus here, be a bunch of manipulative, self-important wankers or they might actually be a bunch of well intentioned, but slightly deluded, nerds.
For the moment I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume the latter. If so, their delusion is the same as the AP’s.
Hey, guys, (and I mean that in a generic, non gender-specific sense) there are no rules.
I repeat (with somewhat greater emphasis) THERE ARE NO FUCKING RULES!!!!!!

WIDTAP June 18, 2008 at 9:31 am

[re=18692]dmac[/re]: Could be worse. His mama could have named him Holden.

Canuckledragger June 18, 2008 at 9:38 am

[re=18654]Darehead[/re]: Did you get lost on the inert-tubes superhighway of information? Jeez, don’t be such a typical guy. Stop and ask for directions when you get lost, OK?

[re=18655]ronaldpagan[/re]: “Only in Canada would blogging be MORE likely to get you laid.” Why do you think I blog so often? When chicks up here find out that you’re a powerful blogger whose opinions are sought after, they fall to their knees to service us whilst we pound out the poesy and prosey. I’m waiting for one to wander by right now….

[re=18658]trai_dep[/re]: How kind of you to notice my blogger outfit. Like my cape? It’s reversable.

Darehead June 18, 2008 at 9:51 am

[re=18717]Canuckledragger[/re]: Haha! I knew Ronald’s reference would getcha to come out and play. Btw, I think you missed my post the other day asking you to point your avatar arrow the other direction, toward you, given the probing poetic prosiness of your posts.

Canuckledragger June 18, 2008 at 9:55 am

[re=18730]Darehead[/re]: Sorry, dh, but my arrow swings exclusively to the left. I think it’s the way they make inseams up here or something. But if you wanna photoshop it to the right for me, I’ll roleplay with ya. Cheeky monkey…

Darehead June 18, 2008 at 9:59 am

[re=18733]Canuckledragger[/re]: Monkey? I’m a dog. OK, I’ll live with it swinging left.

Brutus Harlot June 18, 2008 at 9:59 am

[re=18655]ronaldpagan[/re]: I’m imaginary? Why didn’t anybody tell me this before?

Doglessliberal June 18, 2008 at 9:59 am

[re=18633]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I have wanted to be Wonder Woman since I saw Lynda Carter with her golden lasso all those years ago. Who cares if it was sexist and cheesy–she was cool.

Gopherit v2.0 June 18, 2008 at 10:02 am

[re=18690]MoodProcessor[/re]: I wana be the Shoveller or the Spleen. Don’t care which.

Gopherit v2.0 June 18, 2008 at 10:11 am

Since all we do is cover sex scandals anyway, can we make up…..errm…”Discover” one about Robert Cox?

Doglessliberal June 18, 2008 at 10:12 am

hey, we haven’t had a really good sex scandal here in a while unless you count Spitzer, and that was more NY. What does the AP know and is not telling us? Is there another Larry Craig lurking out there?

MoodProcessor June 18, 2008 at 10:30 am

I’m sure one of the Super Friends can find him. Remind me though, which one of them has Gadar? I think it was Aquaman…

WIDTAP June 18, 2008 at 10:33 am

[re=18741]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I want to be Dr. A. Heller – because Tom Waits is god.

Doglessliberal June 18, 2008 at 10:40 am

[re=18769]MoodProcessor[/re]: you might be right:

Doglessliberal June 18, 2008 at 10:49 am

[re=18769]MoodProcessor[/re]: this one is better. He looks already-dressed for gay Mardi Gras

jagorev June 18, 2008 at 10:53 am

Associated Press blows goats, I have proof.

oh crap, that’s 7 words.

MoodProcessor June 18, 2008 at 10:57 am

[re=18794]Doglessliberal[/re]: “Starfish! Assemble!”

Doglessliberal June 18, 2008 at 11:02 am

[re=18806]MoodProcessor[/re]: maybe because DC Pride was last weekend, but I totally see a camp, over-the-top Justice League float in the making here.

MoodProcessor June 18, 2008 at 11:03 am

[re=18741]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I’d settle for just hanging out with that Garofalo gal for a few minutes, actually.

MoodProcessor June 18, 2008 at 11:38 am

[re=18813]Doglessliberal[/re]: Great, I know a great place where you can buy cod-pieces in buld. Any color you like….

metropolitan June 18, 2008 at 11:54 am

oh damn, so if i want to become a blogger i have be part of this MBA group of nerds? is it like a union where i have to apprentice (like say keeping a diary) or can my hours posting comments on blogs count towards it?

Kittenloss June 18, 2008 at 12:25 pm

Wait, is the reason that Wonkette is magically really funny because you’re no longer owned by Gawker? That explains a great deal.

thefrontpage June 18, 2008 at 12:28 pm

What’s going on with the AP lately? They raise their rates, piss of their members, drive out experienced reporters, hire lame editors, raise their rates some more, increasingly have shoddy reporting, are not as quick on breaking stories as it used to be (which is dumb, considering that’s how and why the damn wire started in the first place), and now it’s going after web sites and bloggers!! What the hell? Who’s in charge here? Someone needs a strong wake-up call–and some lessons on management, journalism, news, public relations, economics–and common sense.

Big Al1317 June 18, 2008 at 2:15 pm

HEY – where’s the sex scandal stuff?

Sabre_Justice June 18, 2008 at 7:19 pm

Captain Hero, where are you?

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