Wonkette
With Hillary Clinton gone and the media finally paying some attention to John McCain’s campaign, WALNUTS! knows that he’ll have to put in a few minutes with his reporter friends to sustain his Maverick image. That’s why he’s making such a grand spectacle of his “independent” thinking on the environment and global warming. John McCain will certainly make Saving Our Planet the trademark issue of his campaign, because he cares about Earth. Yesterday, for example, John McCain cared about Earth a lot. Here is his new ad, in which he cares about Earth yet again. [YouTube]
CAMPAIGN ADS
We’ll bomb the environment too.
john mccain’s environmentalism comes from some painful memories of the last ice age.
Servo: No environment=no environmental concern.
GENIUS.
Drill on, WALNUTS!
The first images remind me of a video about AIDS we watched about ten years ago in health class. It started with a similar montage; the narrator talked over it about how sex used to be less of a mine-field, and then concluded somberly: “But this is the 80s.”
Big Bad John? But this time salvation instead of salivatation.
Old man angry at cloud.
Keep it up Abe.
In the extended version of this ad, McCain throws a rock in some lake about two minutes in.
He cares a lot about the army navy air force and marines
He cares a lot about the SF, NY and LAPD
He cares a lot about you people, about your guns
About the wars you’re fighting, gee that looks like fun!
He cares about the Garbage Pail Kids, they never lie
He cares a lot about Transformers cause there’s more than meets the eye
reform. prosperity. peace. - isn’t that Maoist?
metropolitan: On the contrary, that’s why he knows it’s no big deal. Things will cool off again in a couple million years, after McCain retires.
Forget global warming. Get rid of the Sun. It Burns and makes nasty cancers. It burns the McCain, precious!
…once again the typical John McCain Ad, in which he states the problem and says he will make it better. No solutions, no ideas and sure as HELL no details. He should save himself money on these commercials by just cutting to the point and saying “Global Warming bad, John McCain Good”.
I didn’t know his campaign slogan uses the word peace.
We can just film the environment and play it in OmniMax theatres forever.
spencer: Yes, it’s a new dispatch from the Ministry of Truth.
This just in: McCain is a young, hopeful, black man!
that final shot was actually for mccain’s upcoming viagra campaign set to kick off this november after obama is elected. note his “upward” gaze and hopeful expression (as if to say, “i’m dosed and ready to get some ass tonight”).
Servo:
To be used as movies to watch as we suicide before the gubbiment uses our corpses to make Soylent Green?
If we subscribe to Insane McCain’s foreign policy, the environment will be all that’s left.
Servo: That’s what Mulholland said about Yosemite-
Basically that we should send in our best photographers and then DAM THE SHIT OUT OF IT.
He looks like a scarecrow as he stands there bolt-upright, his pockets the only things moving as they flap in the wind, only he’s not quite as life-like as most scarecrows you’ll see.
Should commercials about caring for the environment really feature clips of auto assembly lines awash in the glow of a gazillion watts of fluorescent light?
AngryBlakGuy: Exactly. Not a molecule of content in the whole thing. Except it says he “stood up to the President” on global warming. Now that would be the President that McCain endorsed and worked to get into the White House? Pretty basic problem, trying to convince people he’s against Bush more than Obama is.
How artsy! He must be the best choice for our leader with all those crazy shots! And by the way, Clinton’s not gone yet!
Clinton Incident
i think i just threw up a little bit in my mouth…
-Peace, ya’ll!
word.
And do they always have to show that stupid still shot of a politician looking very official-politician-like at the end of a commercial? ANNOYING.
Deepthroat: You should know better than anyone that you’ve got to relax your throat, Miss Lovelace.
he speaks from experience, having witnessed what the last massive global climate change did to his fellow dinosaurs …
guerilla-nation: Dinosaur bones were put under the earth as lies by SATAN, remember?
They totally ripped off the crying Indian commercial from the “Keep America Beautiful” campaign in the 70’s. John needs pigtails and a tear in his eye.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4ozVMxzNAA
JEEBUS! He looks like he’s on some AARP cruise in Alaska. I think you have to be eighty years old just to buy that kind of windbreaker.
I liked the wind flipping around the flaps of his little ‘outdoorsy shirt’. Still why are his pockets unbuttoned? Are buttons to ‘fiddly’ for his bumbling old hands?
Mabalz Izhari:
…and Billy Jack to kick the shit out him.
I think he has those three words at the end of the ad wrong. He doesn’t want “Reform. Prosperity. Peace.” He wants to reform the concepts of peace and prosperity. And kill MoveOn babies.
Godless Liberal* (i remember - back in the time before the tectonic plates quivered sending the Wonkette site into its new formation - that you were a true star, and so I will go ahead and incorporate the less bastard stepchild of the star, the asterix, into your name)
Touché my friend, touché.
I’m John McCain and I approved this message cause if I don’t I”ll have to do another take with this stake up my butt cause if I don’t have it there the damned wind machines will blow me off the boxes I’m standing on so I won’t look like an aging hobbit.
He cares about the environment so much that he wants to start off shore drilling in the US again. Yeah, take that Texas Redneck Riviera home owners. Your pristine views of the waters separating you from Mexico will now be ruined by oil rigs and other flotsam. But you will love it.
Does a Dope shit in the woods?
At the end it didn’t sound like he really thinks he is John McCain. It seemed more like a question. “I’m John McCain?”
Maybe it’s schizophrenia??
McCain understands you can’t negotiate with the environment.
You need to look it in the eye and let it know who’s boss.
Accordion-o-rama: Now that’s experience you can count on.
His pocket flaps blowing in the breeze while he himself remains immobile would indicate, I think, that he is in fact dead, or at the very least, dormant.
One brave commenter should test the headline and stare at WALNUTS in the eyes. You will win when he feels that painful scathe of accountability breathing down his flappy neck, penetrating deep into the orifices of his cunt.
Prosperity = tax cuts for corporations and on capital earnings
Peace = 100 more years in Iraq
Reform = 8 more years of Bush fiscal and foreign policy
Oh, I get it, it’s backwards day!
John McCain will save the environment by inhaling all the greenhouse gases and converting them to methane. Um. Something like that.
You see this is part of the McKrack economy stimulation package which isn’t so far off from Hillz:
(1) Raise $ from hardworking white americans
(2) Top the $ off from money from your cunt
(3) ‘Invest’ in political ads and buy ad space
(4) Let the trickle-down begin