Wonkette
As everybody in America knows, John McCain loves holding town hall events where he doesn’t have to read out loud to an audience, and nobody can see that he is six inches shorter than the podium. In these town halls he offers “straight talk you can believe in,” like “I am a nasty old bastard who will bomb Iran my first day in office, then take a nap.” So how did the John McCain’s awesome town hall go last night?
Enh, not so good. You see, Fox News anchor and angry Secret Democrat Shepherd Smith told everybody watching the deal on the teevee that the live audience was full of McCain supporters. The audience was so retardedly stacked that even Fox News wrote about it later:
The McCain campaign said it was taking random questions from the audience of about 200 people. But the questions and mood were decidedly favorable, as his jabs at Obama were frequently interrupted by applause.
One questioner praised his military service; another called him a “hero.”
The campaign later issued a statement saying it distributed tickets to “supporters, Mayor Bloomberg, and other independent groups.”
Question: Why does Fox News hate America?
McCain Fights Iraq Criticism at Solo Town Hall Appearance [FOXNews.com]
Fox Admits McCain Stacked Townhall [YouTube]
“supporters, Mayor Bloomberg, and other independent groups.”
There are about three logical fallacies in this statement.
So basically he’s no better than the talking-to-the-dead “psychic” John Edward.
“I’m getting a H? An E?..a ‘He’ sound?”
“Hero?”
“Hero! Yes, I’m a hero!”
…200? Do you know how many mortuaries you would need to raid to get that many corpses?!
He just won every woman’s heart in America.
So the bubble is only big enough for 200 people now? It’ll be nice to see McCrone getting a McGovern-style drubbing in November. Right before the coup.
A McCain-stacked audience would look on slack-jawed and drooling at his ineptitude compared to Hopey’s speaking style if the two ever did a town hall together. Though, you’d kind of expect that from a bunch of nursing home patients.
Obama should have town halls…with an audience of 30,000.
Fox News turning on one of its own?
Next, I suppose Fox News will try to become a News station.
Are these the changes Obama spoke of?
Now that’s change YOU WILL BELIEVE IN!!!
SayItWithWookies: 200 was about all he could draw, since he shamelessly ignored the Religous Right Nutbag voting bloc. Campaign implosion in 3…2…1…
Where are your compatriots today, Sara? Is it a boys spa day or something at Wonkette?
Gopherit v2.0: What was that? eh? Forgot to turn my hearing aide on….Oh yes, bomb those darkies!…Uh, oh…poopies…
Note to the McKaine Mutiny. It would have been better for you guys to have stacked the “town” hall with puppets. At least we can who has a hand up their ass.
After McCain invited Obama to participate in his obviously not rigged “Town Hall” meeting that was not full of shills, he went on to challenge Barack to stick his hand in a box of rattle snakes, taste his cunt wife’s taco, and play mumbly peg with a ninja. In a cowardly declaration, Obama declined these invitations. How can we vote for such a yellow belly, who refuses to engage in a forum that could never be perceived as an ambush?
That picture is not helping my hangover go away. Ugh.
Most frequently-heard questions at Juan’s “town hall” Q&As:
1) Is there a window open? I feel a draft.
2) What will you do to stop those colored ladies from sneaking into my room at night and steling the daguerreotypes of my grandkids?
3) Why does the cafeteria only serve pudding on Tuesdays?
ManchuCandidate:
Dipshit. Forgot the verb SEE as in At least we can SEE who has a hand up their ass. Note to self: Going out on Thrusday nights not good for brain.
…Im pretty sure when he has his first debate with Obama they are going to use CGI to fill in the rest of his supporters!
Ah, sham debacles … my favorite kind of debacles.
“Mr. Burns, your campaign seems to have the momentum of a runaway freight train. Why are you so popular?”
Deceptive audience rigging? From a GOP presidential nominee?
Say it ain’t so!
Has WALNUTS! just given up on the whole “I’m not like George W. Bush” thing already? What next, a photo op with an “Election Accomplished” banner?
Those aren’t minions. Proper minions wear matching black turtle-neck jumpsuits. They are clearly actors. Except for the guy in the yamika McCutsie snubs 9 seconds into the video - he’s not an actor.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: …hangovers are for the people DUMB enough to stop drinking!!!
ManchuCandidate: …dont be so hard yourself your grammar/spelling is still better than mine!
edgydrifter: You win for funniest comments….
I caught a wee part of that…thing last night, and he seems to have found the only 200 people in the country who would applaud his gas tax holiday, so good on him for finding them all.
Also? He is still pushing the gas tax holiday.
edgydrifter: +10 for using the word “daguerreotypes”
Hey now, he had representatives from both the coal AND the oil industry, so you can’t say he didn’t have a diversity of viewpoints represented.
Cicada: Hard to remember now, except for us oldsters, that Nixon got elected in ‘68 on a town-hall-meeting strategery, and packed the halls the Rotarians and other shills to ensure he wouldn’t be asked any difficult questions. Joe Klein first got famous for a book he wrote while working as a liberal mole in the Nixon campaign. So Gramps can say he won’t give us more Bush–he’ll give us more Nixon!
And better yet, evil dwarf war criminal Henry Kissinger is available to help out!
And they say Murdoch’s heart grew three sizes that day, reaching a final diameter of .57 mm.
Fuck [Mc]Cain. Sorry, its been a long week, that is all I could muster.
I never tire of that INVISIBLE BLOWJOB picture.
Can someone Photoshop a big ol’ Polish sausage into that picture?
Harvey Birdman: “They canceled Matlock!? Bastards!”
Question: “Mr. McCain- do you believe George Bush is a God, a King, or a God-appointed King?”
WALNUTS: “Well, my friends, I am very tired.”
Question: “Thank you Mr. McCain. You are an inspiration to us all.”
V572625694: Cool, more Nixon! When do the tapes of McNasty ranting about the Jews and the ni@@ers come to light?
Actually, given the way this campaign is shaping up, Nixon is a pretty apt comparison.
The current GOP strategy reminds me of that Kevin Phillips quote about riling up the “negrophobe” Democrats to get them to vote Republican. The right-wing pundits have already been invoking the image of race riots. Oh goody! I can’t wait to see what’s next *sigh*.
When does it start becoming okay en masse to make fun of McCain’s herky-jerky arm movements? Yeah, I know I’ve never been a guest at the Hanoi Hilton, sure. But still. All I want to do when I see him is keep throwing objects at him while shouting “THINK FAST!”
Maybe if Obama hadn’t chickened out of the town hall some of his supporters might have shown up.
Damnit, I can’t remember my first wife’s maiden name. It is Pussy with an “R” in it. Prussy, Crunt, something like that. You know the one I left for my present crack-whore.
Canmon (the Inadequate): Ooh, yes. If Obama had shown up, maybe we could have had a half hour of flag pin and patriotism questions for the punditocracy to hash over endlessly while they talk about Obama’s alienation of working white folk.
There is value to moderation when you actually want to talk about issues. I think that is precisely why McNasty has been pushing for this format: more talk about the flag, less talk about the economy.
I would be equally puked out by a town hall full of people asking Obama about how wonderful he is, BTW.
I’m really looking forward to actual debates, where the candidates get asked questions by moderators who at least pretend to be objective.
Canmon (the Inadequate):
(Sighing as he knows he’s feeding a troll)
If you actually need an answer to this:
1. Hopey had his own townhall the same night.
2. Obama’s leading. The candidate that’s behind will often benefit more from getting equal exposure to the more magnetic draw. Strategically, it’s not great for Obama to do a lot of debates. Same reason Obama wouldn’t likely agree to debate Ron Paul or Ralph Nader a dozen times.
Obama needs McCain like Paul Simon needs Art Garfunkel.
3. If the tickets were being distributed to McCain supporters, how would Obama’s people get in?
Brutus Harlot: Obama was calling his campaign stops town hall meetings well before he secured the nomination. And at the one here, there were over 5,000 people, with a few hundred more outside listening to a broadcast of his speech because the secret service wouldn’t let anyone else inside. It’s not 30,000, but it’s a lot more than 200… and that was several months ago now.
snig: I agree with you, but wanted to make a small point. McCain has been selling his town hall as a substitute for debates, hence the “chicken out” lingo. Obama has not been selling his town hall meetings as anything other than a chance to meet the candidate.
I really HATE the idea of a town hall meeting being a stand in for a debate.
Canmon (the Inadequate): I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU BARRY DID NOT SHOW UP BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID BECAUSE HE IS SUCH A PANSY AND AFRAID TO TALK IN PUBLIC BECAUSE HE IS AN INADEQUATE PUBLIC SPEAKER WHO ALSO WAS A TRIAL LAWYER FOR 25 YEARS.
Canmon (the Inadequate): That’s not racial transcendence I can believe in, my friend.
A word on Shepherd Smith, the one person you can sort of respect on Fox News. I remember when Katrina hit, and he was covering it in New Orleans. The Fox people back in New York and DC kept saying “Well, it really isn’t that bad, and FEMA is doing a great job, right Shep?” and he would just hang his head and say “No, it is terrible down here, why is no one in the adminstration doing anything to help these people.” And Fox would then cut away to something.
I think they upped his meds after that to keep him closer to the party line, but in the land of the blind….
Canmon (the Inadequate): Yeah, Barry’s a chicken. No, wait, he’s playing chicken. With McCain’s Straight Talk senior Scooter. Beep beep motherfucker.
snig: Obama was invited to the town hall and he refused. That’s why there were extra tickets:
http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalradar/2008/06/mccain-nyc-town.html
Canmon (the Inadequate): Hey, McCain could have gone to Hopey’s town hall! I bet if he called ahead they’d let him sit in the front row!
Son of Mark Penn: I imagine a McCain appearance at an Obama town hall would go about as well as Michael Richard’s last stand-up performance.
Canmon (the Inadequate): Why o why would BRC give WALNUTS! the benefit on this and lend energy to McCranky’s moribund and flat-footed campaigning? It’s less a refusal than a deft “good luck with that, doofus.”
Newsflash: Hillary still has lost the presidential nomination.
Canmon (the Inadequate): It still isn’t a friggin’ debate, no matter how many times McCain’s camp wants to call it that. Obama is smart to hold out for a different format.
Canmon (the Inadequate): So, McCain couldn’t even fill a 200 person town hall when it was free?
You’re totally right. Obama’s really the one who looks bad here. Heh.
From what I can tell McCain is not liked by the old guard GOP and Wall Street types. Since the evangelicals hate him, that leaves only the most clueless of the Military Channel watchers who also love Bush. What’s that, like 20% now???
Canmon (the Inadequate):
And Obama should allow the guy who’s most ferverent dream is to derail Obama’s campaign to plan Obama’s campaign events? Right when Obama is just recovering from the exhaustion of the primary campaign, and McCain has been able to nap while coasting through his primary? Obama has been able to raise more money, McCain knows focusing energy on the debate will decrease that advantage.
Obama offered five debates. That’s more debates than any two candidates have had since the Lincoln Doughlas debates. McCain will keep asking cause it helps him score cheap political points. And if McCain was completely fearless about open debate, he could have opened the tickets to his Town Hall to the general public.
Canmon (the Inadequate): I was thinking the extra tickets were from the people who didn’t want to see McCain? Like me and the rest of the world.
OMG, why am I talking to you?
Sara K. Smith,
Answer: What’s left to love after President Bush?
Sincerely and respectfully,
Mr. Clark