Wonkette
OBVIOUS HUMOR EXPLAINED: An important Scientific Study reveals that sarcasm is actually a form of mind-reading, so congratulations Wonkette fans, you get a BIG GOLD STAR for your paranormal brilliance. [NYT]
WASHINGTON, DC, 08:54 PM, WED NOVEMBER 25 | Advertise on Wonkette |
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I knew you were going to post that.
Meh. Now, if sarcasm were a form of buttsecks, I’d be fucking Don Rickles.
*re-reads his post*
Wow, that was phrased really poorly. x.x
Well, my god, I thought most of the people I went to law school with and then who surrounded me in legal practice simply had no sense of humor. They were, in fact, brain damaged!
Man, we really, really appreciate your noticing us. Really.
Those who lose the ability, whether through a head injury or the frontotemporal dementias afflicting the patients in Dr. Rankin’s study, just do not get it when someone says during a hurricane, “Nice weather we’re having.” Or when Stephen Colbert praises Republicans ::COUGH COUGH COUNTRY ABOVE SELF COUGH COUGH:: OH, excuse me!
So, you’re basically fucked if you are German?
Sara, we can thank Dubya for our mind-reading capabilities.
Without him, I got nothing for you.
Does this mean that humor challenged Repubs aren’t in their right mind?
Is that an actual whore star, or do we just have to keep pretending? Because that is exactly the same.
Iz en ur brainz, reading ur sarcazmz
Yeah, sure.
Oh that’s great, I totally believe that.
ManchuCandidate: Indeed, given the reversal of sides between brain and body, it would seem, ironically, that repubs are actually far-leaning lefty brained. They will, of course, take that as an insult, because they can appreciate neither sarcasm nor irony.
Given McCain’s absolutely awful attempts at sarcasm in his greenscreen speech (”That’s not change you can believe in!”), does this constitute scientific proof that McCain is brain damaged?
“There was nothing very interesting in Katherine P. Rankin’s study of sarcasm — at least, nothing worth your important time.”
Well, rather obviouly, that is either sarcasm (and not a particularly good example of it), or the worst opening line ever. I’m picking option two. I thought the object was to grab the attention of your reader and make them want to continue…oh wait, it’s a “newspaper”. Never mind.
dejavu!
While we’re on this topic, I always wonder if our editors go home and use snark on their significant others, neighbors, mothers-in-law, bratty offspring etc. Do they have dreams in snark? Do they say eulogies in snark? Or is it purely a work thing, and as soon as they go thru the door of their home-sweet-homes they start talking like average wooden policy wonks, drop-jawed yokels and humor-challenged Paultards.
Just wonderin’.
I’m not a size queen, but I’ve seen Jon Stewart’s MRI. His “huge right frontal lobe”? Meh, not so much.
I SEE WHAT U DID THAR
Is that real gold, or the stuff that flakes off after a few months?
Parahippocampal Gyrus = Bullshit Detector
Which bring me to the only good thing about the new commenting thingy…no fucking stars.
AxmxZ: O RLY?
I hope this is different than the ‘big chocolate star’ we got last time…
jagorev: Nah….He just sucks. Eggs…and nasty hard candies.
Is this Australia morning or something?? Between the philandering premier, and the actors in the video in the linked article, these fucking people are everywhere. I mean Australia is big enough for more than the 20 or so million of them - do they have to spread their nasal paint-stripping voices all over the world??
Further proof that Dubya must be brain damaged.
Darehead: Newell is sarcastic to his Xbox, Layne laughs at everything, and I am Glorious in person.
Edward Bulwer-Lytton: you anti-elitist! If you get a star you get to be first in line at the buffet for the Wonkette Christmas party. The tater-tots and arugula go really fast!
Thank you for acknowledging my brilliance. But my wife keeps calling me an idiot. Couldja give her a call for me Sara? ThankQ!
jagorev: It’s dementia.
Gopherit v2.0: Remember when everyone thought Bush was just ‘playing dumb’?
Oh no, this doesn’t bode well for Barry. The “learning how the phones work” comment would indicate that he spent all that time READING HILLZ MIND! So all the delegates voted for her! Via telepathy!
blogfather: Star or Starfish?
AfghanVet: starfish. Damnit I always fuck up a good laugh! The stupid shit I say comes out just fine though.
jagorev:
The human brain isn’t designed to take all those high-G acceleration/deceleration carrier traps and cat shots that Walnuts took when he was Walnuts Hero of the Nation.
Sara K. Smith: OK, thanks for the answer. I like how you call each other last names, like Mulder and Scully.
Darehead: I don’t know about them, but I get in trouble at work all the time for snarking during meetings, particularly after spending time here. Sometimes it hard to go from paranormal back to normal at the drop of an asshat.
Sara K. Smith: Ooh wait, don’t tell me! I know! I know! That was “sarcasm”, right?
Edward Bulwer-Lytton: Plus, now that I think about it. You already have a pretty elitist avatar name. If not a star, a few more names and titles and you would be so elitist not even Barry’s long arms could reach you.
Oh good, now the Times will tell us how to be funny as well.
Can’t wait to read the 5 page Magazine feature on knock knock jokes.
frontotemporal dementias: my business partner has it.
That’s why I never talk to him. Ever.
Humble Pi: Yeah, tru for most of us. But they snark for their bread and butter and bacon and arugula and whatever. Paid to laugh, so I was worried they might go home and cry the tears of the lonely snarkers, when there’s no one online.
Sarcasm is also positively correlated with having a big dick.
Vanity Smurf: Word.
This puts wonketteers (or whatevs the term is) so high above the common man, we are like unto gods.
Ahem.
Actually, the study discusses the ability of being able to perceive sarcasm, not produce it.
Vanity Smurf: True. We’re less defensive about things like that than certain other bitters. However, do sarcastic female-types also have big dicks? Or just a large collection of TruckNutz?
So does this mean emoticons are a sign of brain damage?
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: or science.
Vanity, if that is true, then Don Rickles is HUGE and he is REALLY giving it to our friend Naked Bunny.
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: There is scientific evidence to suggest that two X chromosomes has a multiplicative effect on one’s ability to discern and utilize sarcasm. So my wife tells me, anyway.
Vanity Smurf: well, gee, I seem to be missing something then.
Riv-vet-ting.
Gopherit v2.0: Paultards lack said chromosomes.
Vanity Smurf: I get it…sarcasm!
We should hurry up and figure out pyrokinesis already. That way, we can continue to harass and exploit other countries without missing “American Gladiators” or another “I Love the *insert decade*”.
Oh, the great assistant professor Katherine P. Rankin speaks? May I kiss your feet?
Pffft. I don’t bother trying to read any minds cuz I don’t care what’s in them. I just skip the sarcasm and go right to contempt and derision. And poking with the sticks.
So, I’m, like, “special” special, and not “short bus” special? Good to know! This still does not deliver the mutant powers I was promised from reading X-Men as a youngster, but I’ll take it.
If this is the same “science” that says I evolved from an ape, then do not want!
The saddest thing about the dumb story is OF COURSE they have some random metion of Jon Stewart at the end.
He is clearly THE ONLY known example of Sarcastic Western Witticism by B-school journalist in the mordern media. I love the Daily Show but that is just fucking sad.
Vanity Smurf: My wife started telling me I had a big dick when we were sitting in a bar the other day. She’s going on and on about it and then–doh!–she’s being sarcastic.
Or is she? I’m pretty sarcastic myself, so, yeah, there’s that.