Wonkette
It appears that Bill Clinton’s latest run for president will be his last, despite rumors that he may run again in 2012. “I want to say also, that this may be the last day I’m ever involved in a campaign of this kind,” he said at a rally in South Dakota today. “I thought I was out of politics, ’til Hillary decided to run,” he continued, “But it has been, one of the greatest honors of my life to go around and campaign for her for president.” Indeed, now that his wife will likely leave the race, President Clinton — the leader of the Democratic Party for 16 years — can no longer be involved in politics, much like he wasn’t when he didn’t campaign for John Kerry or Al Gore. [First Read]
JOHN KERRY
Back to Blo-jobs, whiskey and White House antique furniture dealing. Good choice, slick willy.
Does that mean I win?
<3
That was his goal all along. He didn’t want to get vetted now that he’s really racked up the cankled pountang.
Does this mean that this thing is finally in the end stages?
…and while he is leaving he should take that girl in the photo with the ski goggles with him!
Please read “campaign of this kind” to mean a campaign with rallies peopled by wrinkly old fatties.
Don’t stop….no really….just keep going.
tunamelt: Nope. That statement’s not even close to Nixon’s “…you won’t have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore.” I predict nekked mud rasslin’ on the convention floor.
“Now all that’s left is for me is to sit atop my growing pile of cash, and laugh and laugh and laugh as I watch my lovely wife slip into a mad, uncomprehending frenzy while she slides into the abyss. My God, I love this life!”
…then again if this is how he “campaigns” Al Gore and John Kerry might have got off luck WITHOUT his help.
Mr. Ickes (aptonym of the year) could easily spin this. “He was just saying this would be the last time he was involved in a campaign ‘of this type.’ You know a campaign in which the rightful candidate is constantly frustrated by an uppity black man. In no way does this infer that ex-President Bill Clinton will not be campaigning for future President Hillary Clinton, nor, indeed, in good time, for future President Chelsea Clinton.”
No, no - the last time he is involved with a campaign of this kind.
2012’s campaign will involve a lynch mob, just in case.
The Sperminator gets sentimental. Poignant? Or pathetic?
The Freudian question remains: did he purposefully fuck up Hillary’s shit?
But wait… remember RFK!
AngryBlakGuy: I believe that’s a young Tom Shales.
I’m pretty sure Hillary decided to run in 1977. So I doubt there was much of a time period in which Bill seriously considered himself outside the realm of politics.
i think what he’s trying to get across here is that there’s no chance he’ll be campaigning for barack obama this fall.
Tawmn: Hey! I got my “n” back…
OMG IT’S ALL FALLING INTO PLACE!! I just had a dozen anticipatory orgasms!
That’s got to sting. Seeing how red-faced and weepy he was during Hillary’s “victory” speech on primary night in Indiana, it was clear Bill wanted this win something awful. The question is why? Since we can assume that “his deep abiding love for Hillary” is NOT the reason, why did this guy crave the return of Camp Clinton to power so much that he became an enraged rambling uber-prick? Scary to think about what he had planned for Bill Clinton 2.0. I’m guessing it involved enough money-grubbing, snatch-gobbling and power-mongering to make a Roman emperor shake his head.
Dear Bill.
Please do what you can to make Hillary quit and then resume your formerly beloved self’s time-honored traditions of banging semi-hot women and driving Republicans crazy. I’m really getting tired of hating on you so much, because I used to think you were pretty fucking cool.
Thx,
Dave J.
ronaldpagan: sharing?
I think he’s actually misty-eyed about his campaign to “bang a chick in each of the 50 states” finally coming to an end. God Bless South Dakota.
I look forward to hearing how Ickes, Davis, and Clinton herself explain that Bill’s abandonment of the campaign is no big deal, just something blown up by the Obama campaign…
“Fuel up Air Fuck One, Ron. Bangkok’s calling!”
FlakJack: “Scary to think about what he had planned for Bill Clinton 2.0.” Perhaps he’d be a permanent fixture in the Lincoln bedroom…part of the new White House Thursday morning series “Breakfast with Bubba.”
Huffpo reports that Hillz staffers are being told to turn in their expense accounts by the end of the week. Advance staffers have been told that their role in the the campaign is over.
he just wants a do-over. and next time, he’ll give the girl ten bucks to have her dress cleaned.
Well, *I*, for one, have a vast sense of relief.
Surely he can score just as well, if not better, as an ex-president than a FSOTUS, or FGOTUS, or FOETUS or whatevs.
@AngryBlakGuy: If that girl goes with Bill she damn well better keep those glasses on to protect her eyes. According the the American Council of The Viusally Impared, more than one person has been blinded by sperm blasts from the rich, powerful, and politically elite!
People really read too much into what he says.
Rodney Badger: I don’t know, it looks fairly clear that he’s saying “Okay, I’ve been fucking this up for everyone, maybe I will go away now?”
In so many words, I suppose.
Well, I will miss the posts about bj’s, bimbos, &c. Take care Bill! This site still needs you…you know, for straight sex comic relief. Now, we are just left with republican restroom stuff….And Ann Coulter.
AngryBlakGuy: Gore asked Bill to leave the 2000 campaign trail early in, I think in response to some crazy comment/speech WJC made. Not sure about Kerry but I wouldn’t be surprised if he had done the same, especially given Kerry’s willingness to endorse Barry early-on (unlike most other “establishment” dems, who seemed reticent to anger The Hillary).
So until you…my beloved American people…recognize that it is time to annoint me King of the Universe and President of All Time, I will be retiring from the political trail. I look forward to the quiet life awaiting me at my humble New York penthouse as I prepare for my future role as King of the Universe and President of All Time, and the simpler time that awaits us all when this challenging election business is all over. Thank you…thank you very much.
Bill Clinton Gets Sentimental On Last Day Of His Campaign
You know what that means, don’t you? Gina Gershon’s about to get a bad case of lockjaw.
Pure coincidence that the NBA Finals start Thursday, right? Maybe the man just wants to watch ESPN on his couch in his skivvies like e’erybody else without being thronged by drunk girl and her nosey press corps.