Wonkette
In Canada, they have a form of government that involves things called "legislative assemblies" or something, and a member of the Saskatchewan Legislative Assembly resigned as a secretary to the Premier after he called a fellow lawmaker a "dumb bitch." Basically, a remark that Nancy Pelosi hears a dozen times a day before breakfast made these poor polite Canadians go into palpitations and resign all over the place.
Hilariously, Mike Chisholm, the guy who resigned (only as legislative secretary, so he still makes charming Canadian laws), made the remarks after complaining about how another lawmaker was using bad language by calling him "lazy." Annnnd Chisholm worked as legislative secretary to Brad Wall, the premier of Saskatchewan, who recently landed in hot water after an old videotape made the rounds showing him at a party "making jokes in a Ukrainian accent."
The bottom line is, do not say "dumb bitch" or feign foreign accents if you want to retain your Canadian citizenship.
MLA apologizes for making offensive comment about female member [CBC]
Comments
eh
At least he didn't call her a poutine.
...he should have called her "Shrek" instead.
...and that explains why we don't worry about building a fence on our northern border.
It's Sask. Flat land makes them unfailingly polite.
At least in the rugged province of Alberta where everyone shits gold and pisses oil, the premier can get smashed (like he usually does), walk into a homeless shelter and mock all the poor who don't make the kind of money'n shit he makes (true story except the part about shitting/pissing gold/oil--they only think they do.)
He shoulda just put on a hockey suit and pummeled the (insert word that rhymes with grit) out of her.
@AngryBlakGuy: ftw.
The Canadian version of wonkette must me all up in his shit now.
It takes at least 7 whore diamonds to earn a resignation in 'merica.
@Gopherit: I can't even imagine how a Canadian version of Wonkette would handle assfucking.
Can someone tell me where Canadia is? It's not on Google maps. Is it north of Dallas?
@queeraselvis: [wonkette.com]
You missed the funniest parts of the story. Chisolm represents "Cut Knife-Turtleford" and Higgins represents "Moose Jaw Wakamow". Also, the legislature is in Regina, which rhymes with vagina.
@bimky: Canada is where Santa Claus lives
Keep your eye on the border. Decorum dodgers may be coming your way.
@Gopherit: @queeraselvis: The closest thing we in Canada have to Wonkette is Rick Mercer's blog--and he don't do the ass-fucking, hey. He did convince presidential candidate George W. Bush that the then-Prime Minister's name was Jean Poutine one time, though. (Which it wasn't; the guys's name was actually Jean Cretien. If anyone cares and can tell the dif.)
@The Rev. Yevot:
I was thinking Frank Mag, but they don't do comments though.
Any magazine that photoshops asslips over Brian Mulrooney's lizard lips is okay with me.
CUNT
Canadians try to illegally enter Minnesota by swimming the Red River of the North, shared by both countries. Unfortunately, it runs north-south, so it really doesn't get them much of anywhere.
@The Rev. Yevot: Sorry: GUY'S name was Jean CHRETIEN. (Trouble with my keyboard, eh?)
@ManchuCandidate: Yeah, Frank's good, but they've run nary an ass-fucking story since oh, probably the Martin administration.
UKRAINE IS STRONG
Seriously, kudos to the guy for doing an accent that could be distinguished as "Ukranian", rather than just "comical Eastern European".
@jfruh: Not only that, but SOUTHERN Ukrainian--outrageous!
@The Rev. Yevot: I understand the confusion. Most Canadians pronounced it "Cretin."
Does anyone know what a female moose is called? And would it make for a plausible derogatory name?
@Cape Clod:
A Cow. Seriously.
@Cape Clod:
A cow, seriously.
@ManchuCandidate:
Damn I thought my post didn't go thru.
Shit.
@The Rev. Yevot: I wouldn't have expected Canadian humor to lean so far to the sublte side.
That doesn't work.
"Your a cow. And I mean that in the female moose sense."
Lacks intensity.
HA! Canada isn't so perfect after-all huh? Take that Canuckle!
It's for remarks like this that Barry opposes cavorting NAFTA-like with Canuck ne'er-do-wells.
"...Brad Wall, the premier of Saskatchewan, who recently landed in hot water after an old videotape made the rounds showing him at a party "making jokes in a Ukrainian accent."
Brad Wall and his fellow right-wingers on that 17-year old tape have pleaded that they're now older, more mature, wiser, and less racist and homophobic. [It wasn't just the Ukrainians who got spoofed in the tape.] Brad Wall is no longer young and stupid. Now he's middle aged and stupid.
[video.google.com]
We also have an interesting shitstorm now taking place in our nation's Parliament. Our equivalent to the US Secretarty of State was dating/cohabitating with a former biker chick, and it's just come out that aside from her organized crime connections, it seems the Canuck chapter of the Hell's Angels wanted to have her "hit." And I don't mean smacked. [She's now sleeping with the same fishes as Vicki Iseman.]
[www.theglobeandmail.com]
We try not to let the world know what actually goes on here. If y'all knew just how fascinating our lives are, you'd all want to live here too. And not just for the world most' potent buddage, either.
@shortsshortsshorts:
Never said that Canada was "perfect," shorts. On the contrary, I'll gladly list all the shit that's wrong with my home and native land. [Don't even get me started on our "treatment" of the natives...]
However, we do know how to run smooth and fair elections where votes get... y'know... counted.
Just sayin'....
@Canuckledragger: I'm with ya... and at least it's not the U.S., so, you know...
Did'ja ever see the Red Green show -- a Canadian TV comedy sited at a men's club camp on a lake. Here's the club pledge:
"I'm a man!
I can change.
If I have to.
I guess."
Perfect for this silly set piece.
@The Rev. Yevot: Actually, we're called Ottawonk, we update slightly more often than Rick Mercer and we do manage the occasional ass-fucking joke. And yeah, Saskatchewan politicians are funny.
@jfruh:
In the Prairie Provinces, jfruh, any vaguely Eastern European accent is called "Ukrainian". Virtually the entire rural population of one Ukrainian province migrated to Western Canada back in pre-World War II days; a huge percentage of the population has at least one Ukrainian grandparent. Hence Edmonton's nickname - Edmonchuk. (I've also heard Winnipeg called "Winnipenko", but its more common nickname is "Winterpeg".)
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