Wonkette

Her lies are weighing her down, so she has to use small children to help hold her up.

[sorry if this double posts]

If I am forced to vote for this mendacious harridan to keep McCain out of the White House and thus prevent him from nominating Satan for the S. Ct, I will feel like a rape victim. Raped by Hillary. Is there some way she can die soon, so I am not raped, and she is not President?

@Doglessliberal: Her mouth says no but her cankles say maybe.

@Doglessliberal: No. Sorry.

She is such a liar. A dirty boldfaced liar.

I mean, this is amazing.

"She wants the oil companies to pay your gas tax." Wat?

"Obama wants you to keep paying those taxes." WAT?

This woman has admitted to not having pumped her own gas in perhaps over 20 years. Oh my God.

Oh no she di'in't!

I'm gonna have to take off my earrings and tie back my hair for this one. Maybe even kick off the pumps. She's gonna feel the pain of these acrylic tips all over her lying face. Hold me back!

@Scott-san: I know. She will never die. She is like Dick Cheney, except she might not even have a fake heart.

@The Real JR: I know. It is truly nauseating. Imagine how Obama must feel about this drek. How do you defend against someone with no compunction about spewing utter BS?

I can't for the life of me see why she stops at the gas tax holiday - how about some even more fantastic proposals that have no chance of happening:

- All cars will run on air starting next year with no modifications to engines.
- Lower food prices 50%, tax those rich farmers
- Build a monorail to Venus
- Use a time machine to bring back lost US jobs
- Oblitherate China if they send any more toxic toys
- Just fix everything in the world, surely we can do it if we just had applied better management principles.

"What's happened to Barack Obama?" He's playing pick-up b-ball in Guam with Carmen Sandiego.

@Johnny Zhivago's Cat: And she is such a good manager, she could fix everything right up.

@AxmxZ: "FEWFWEe32fjkfrlkqrkleqjnkqwkljdqw#@!#!@DWDQW, the end."

Great minds think alike after all.

Some may find her the most "electable" now. Soon, she'll be reduced to "regrettable" as "buyers' remose" turns to just plain ol' remorse.

"Obama wants you to keep paying gas taxes."

FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING WHORE.

It should read "Hillary wants you to keep paying gas taxes, but does not your corporate overlords to for a day or so, because they give her oh-so-many-shit-tons of many."

*money

(Alternate ending)

What's wrong with Barack Obama? Doesn't he understand that the whole reason we underfund education is so that, every four years, we can feed the vast majority of Americans processed bullshit like this and they'll believe it?

Barack Obama: Wrong for stupid people... Wrong for America.

@nyhfrog: "rack Obama: Wrong for stupid people... Wrong for America." - See, this *should* be satire, except it so isn't.

With apologies to John McCain:

Some campaign ads are too blunt,
Others oblique treasure hunts.
But this one lacks candor,
And its message is pander,
Because Hillary Clinton's a cunt.

"I'm Hillary Clinton and I approved this message"

Announcer: "Gas prices at the pump are going through the roof. America depends on oil from the Middle East now more than ever"

Female Voice: "Why can't my car get 100 miles to the gallon?"

Announce: "Because the oil industry still operates under the obsolete laws of thermodynamics. Thanks to big oil lobbyists and their friend Senator Barack Obama, American consumers keep paying and paying and paying. Senator Clinton says we can strike these laws from the books today. Get better mileage from our cars. Cool our homes for free. And heat our homes for just pennies every year. But it'll take a fighter to take on the oil industry on this one.

Senator Obama claims "you can't just repeal the laws of thermodynamics" (citation). That's what oil industry scientists want you to believe.

Who do you trust to solve America's energy crisis? A bunch of elite scientists and Washington Senators? Or a fighting gal like Hillary Clinton?

Hillary Clinton wants YOU to drive your car and hit a gigantic fucking pothole so big is cracks your back axle so you can take it to a fat, greasy mechanic who treats you like you don't know shit about cars and then over charge you for repairs.
And then he's going to shove the broken axle right up your fat ass with a Hillary for President bumper sticker on it.
Thankfully, you'll have about $30 dollars in your pocket from not paying gas taxes for the last 3 months to cover the proctologist's bill.

I'm Hillary Clinton and I approve this message.

Since she's so eager to destroy the party and lock herself in for 2012 (when no one will remember how she destroyed the party), I'd be happy to drop-kick her into the future myself, right now.

This is an effort to reach out to all the superdelegates and big fancy party types who have been throwing her under the proverbial bus the past week. She has the experience to know that when they say they are abandoning her because of her negative tactics aimed at capturing the moron vote, what they really mean is, "Turn up the heat so we can win the moron block in November!"

Hillary Clinton: Ready on Day One to sell Maine and give all the cash to working Americans

Who would buy Maine, you ask? The big fucking oil companies, that's who. She'll make them.

@nyhfrog: Hope and learning every four years! That sounds about right.

Once Hillary Clinton destroys Barry and WALNUTS! becomes the oldest president in the history of presidents I'm leaving this country and preparing for the end of the world/Hillary's election in 2012. The prognostication powers of the Mayans astonish me...

@honoranddignity: The problem is, the bus is proverbial. They need to start throwing her under a real bus.

If she charges the oil companies they will raise prices by a larger margin to make up the difference. It will cost the oil companies money for the infrastructure to account for the "payment". Lawyers, Accountants, Clerical workers, etc... GAS PRICES WILL INCREASE AS A RESULT! Invariably, they will go up far more then the amount that they are being taxed now. This plan is fucking nuts, and shows no comprehension of the real world. Damn. I hate Monday.

@Johnny Zhivago's Cat: Spot on!

Why can't her nose grow (instead of her ass and cankles) every time she lies- that would be way more noticeable...
She truly is so very very horrible- the ultimate pandering political slut!

Dear tech-inclined people,
Please create a virus that would make the autocorrect in MS Word change any entry of "electable" to "despicable". Please send this virus to the Hillarity Clinton for Presiditch offices.
Thank you,
America

This is so W '04: selling the dumbass idea that a terrible plan is better than no plan at all. If she haltingly uses the word "litany" in a sentence, I don't know what in hell I'm going to do.

The right wig media is trying to paint Barack Obama as a Marxist ... He's one empowering Marxist!

BITCH! GO AWAY!

Now that I have that out of my system for a little while, does she really think that the oil companies are going to pick up the tab? Even if they did, does she think they wouldn't just pass it down to us in increases in price? If they take the tax then we'll just end up paying the tax times three as the increase their prices to cover the new tax that they have to pay.

BITCH!! GO AWAY!!!