Wonkette

...don't forget to aim for the eyes! Burnt retinas are funny :)

Remember when down Fridays on the Hill meant "long lunches" at Union Station...

so by "live fire" I take it that they won't be using laser blanks

this is the new response to filibuster threats.

At least they're doing something productive, for a change.

It's not what you think:

[www.lasershot-lawenforcement.com]

Looks like some of our reps are practicing for the coming paultard uprising using live ammo.

Begun, these clone wars have ...

So, in the land of the blinded with lasers, W is king?

Ken, cloning is illegal, immoral and would only lead to more Michael J. Foxes. Rush Limbaugh has made this abundantly clear. And you call yourself a member of the media.

Oh, they're finally deploying the Missile Shield™ -- now we're safe from North Korea.

I was hoping Charlton would have had his cold, dead hands pryed apart into mangled pretzels by now.

@AngryBlakGuy: Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then its freakin hysterical!

In my experience, that sort of stuff is fun. But the equipment breaks down pretty quickly, and you end up going back to paper targets.

Which is sort of like clubbing gay baby Democratic harp seals to death. Fun, but not much practical use.

They've just changed the rules over at the House of Representatives...

That "laser trailer," and your comment, reminded me of an nuclear weapons-related experiment the Air Force wanted to do at the Nevada Test Site back in the 1950s.

The USAF wanted to test whether, and for how long, a pilot would be blinded by the flash of an nearby exploding nuclear weapon. So they set up a trailer similar to the one shown, broadside to the shot tower, with 12 little holes drilled in the side.

Inside would be 12 pilots, sitting in swivel chair. Each would have one eye looking out at the shot tower, while the other would be focus on a white light (the control) on the interior wall. After the detonation, the pilots would turn around and look at an eye chart on the opposite interior wall, to see how long before their sight returned to normal.

The Air Force researchers were all set to go before some party-pooper so-called "scientists" at the AEC pointed out that there was a possibility that the experiment might produce 12 one-eyed pilots.

Who would be of minimal future utility, in addition to writing nasty letters to their Congressmen about the AEC.

So this potential Great Moment In American Science was cancelled.

(No, I'm not making this up.)

It's actually a new training simulation that the Marines want that allows soldiers to train on moving targets instead of stationary targets. Inside there is a projection of a scene where people are running past with guns, and you can fire live weapons into the scene and the screen will react to whether or not you hit the target.

In the future they hope to be able to load actual footage of battlefields in Iraq so the soldiers can train in the simulation for the exact battlefield they will be entering the next day. Pretty cool.

@MissAppropriate: Maybe NYPD can use Laser Shot training simulations to teach their cops how not to kill drunk unarmed suspects by unloading a full clip on them.

@MissAppropriate: Do you get minus points for every sprinting civvy in a dishdasha and burka you "accidentally" grease?

Then a civil affairs simulation of having to pay off the distraught family a marginal sum of cash ensues...

+ Watch video

How NOT to clear a room...

+ Watch video

This is great. She gets pissed and knocks down the door.

+ Watch video

Childish humor.

+ Watch video

Okay, fuckit. I'll post the official youtube Laser Shot promo.

Deep in the Bowels of the Bureau of Reclamation...

"So Boss, what do we have today?"

"Shut up dimwith, today is target practice day. We're going to teach you bureacrats how to defend liberty."

"But Boss, we're in Records Management, we figure out how to file reports and paper and stuff."

"You read the new memo from the Vice President, we're all soldiers in the War."

"What war?"

Shutup and get the rest of the clerks together, we'll meet up at 11 hundred sharp at the mobile range. Don't forget to bring the tazer. We have anti-indigenous insurgent training this afternoon."

"Ah crap. I hate that. Last time we did that I accidentally tazed myself."

"Hurry up, the mobile target range is due over at the SSA at noon to train the cafeteria workers."

Yes, just another day on the homefront!