Wonkette
- Heard on the Hill: Obama camp is a hotbed of illegal gaming... Rappers and politicos, sitting side by side... Rep. Paul Broun wants to make sure you pledge correctly. [Roll Call]
- Reliable Source: Jenna's got the dress all picked out... "Do I Hear a Blood Curdling Scream?"... Straight from the ass's mouth. [WP]
- Yeas and Nays: Tax Day makes conservatives cry... Rep. Ted Poe reads from the family newsletter on the House floor. [Examiner]
- In the Know: Rep. Bono Mack isn't a fan of Blow... The Pope's not just coming to D.C. — he's getting his hair cut, too!... Sen. Ken Salazar and his dog Sen. Mike Enzi are friends till the end. [The Hill]
- Shenanigans: Arena Stage's production of Play On has got some Capitol talent. [Politico]
- And our beloved Intern Elise is leaving us, for New York City and the glamorous world of Daytime Teevee. Read her sad good-bye, after the jump!
Dearest Wonkette readers,
Alas, today will be the last of my Gossip Roundups. For the last 10 months, come hell or horrid hangover, I have dragged myself out of bed at 11 a.m., turned on The View, and made awful puns just so you could have a few chuckles.
I've learned a lot from my time here. From Joy, I learned that enough confidence allows you to pull off big hair. Elizabeth taught me that you're never too old to throw a temper tantrum. Sherri made me question whether the Earth was, in fact, round. Barbara gave me assurance that, even when I'm old and senile, I will still think I'm adorable. And, most importantly, Whoopi let me know that it's possible to keep your cool even when everyone around you is completely insane.
I liked to think of the Gossip Roundup as my own little version of Hot Topics, though that might be giving myself too much credit. Really, though, I loved writing for you all — I laughed when you one-upped me, I winced when you made fun of my bad grammar, and I enjoyed every second of it.
Loves,
Intern Elise
[Thank you Elise, and for Wonk'd, too! Have fun in NYC and say hi to Maury. Come back in the Fall! — Ed.]
Comments
I also heard that Obama's camp runs an illegal cigarette running operation where they buy cigarettes from the injuns tax free and then resell them on capitol hill....and that Obama is their biggest buyer!
@Miss Perception: Have you no sympathy for public life? They have to get his WHORES through a tunnel somehow because of all this EXPOSING you do.
@shortsshortsshorts: Hey if Barry was into hot tranny sex like his Republican counterparts in the Senate I would be the first in line to service him!
I'll have you know that my agency recently upgraded me to a three diamond whore!
I'm beginning to think that use of the word 'diamond' should immediately place any post or comment not so much in moderation but in some sort of Text Phantom Zone, never to be seen again.
Geeze -- marrying Daddy's toady's son, and now Oscar de la Renta -- are we sure Jenna's not really a dowdy 40-something already?
And farewell Elise -- the gossip won't be the same without you.
@SayItWithWookies: I predict she will be pregnant and fat within months. She will not work (not that she does now). She will stay home in Balto and raise their spawn while he goes and works for the power company and develops an alcohol problem and screws the secretaries. Or am I being too negative?
Well, Beethoven *did* write 'Fur Elise'.
Bye, Elise. It's good you left Wonkette before you ruined your digestion with booze. Take vitamins to recover, that's my advice.
Isn't Mary Bono a $cientologi$t?
I miss Sonny. He loved blow in his soft drinks.
@Doglessliberal: My theory is that she has been preggers for the last year and a half, and the thing needs to come out so it can walk.
@Doglessliberal: Negative/realistic, whatever.
So, who's Elise's baby-father?
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