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Gossip Roundup

A Love Song For John McCain

  • Heard on the Hill: Is Geoff Garin really on Team Hillary?... House Judiciary Chairman John Conyers was spotted looking like he had participated in some "social evils"... With Rep. Shelley Seukla Gibbs gone, who will we make fun of?... Hayden Panettiere wants D.C. to vote so that she can save more whales. [Roll Call]
  • Reliable Source: Jenna and Henry bought a home in Baltimore... Pundits never get down from the podium. [WP]
  • Yeas and Nays: Jim Graham's chief of staff Ted Loza got bounced pretty hard... Reinstating the Second Amendments... Jenny McCarthy to liven up White House Correspondents' Dinner. [Examiner]
  • In the Know: Orrin Hatch writes a love song for McCain. [The Hill]
  • The Sleuth: Karl Rove gets caught in an awkward situation. [WP]

11:49 AM on Thu Apr 10 2008
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  • Image of ronaldpagan by ronaldpagan at 12:19 PM on 04/10/08
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    Awww! Orrin Hatch's song is called "Forever Together." And it sounds homoerotic, but really he is just referring to American troops and Iraq.

  • Image of FloraWay by FloraWay at 12:24 PM on 04/10/08
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    Sometimes I'm sad that I don't have a subscription to Roll Call.

  • Image of queeraselvis by queeraselvis at 01:01 PM on 04/10/08
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    Dear Orrin: If you're going to rip off one of my songs, might I suggest "Cry For Help" as something infinitely more appropriate for John McCain. No love, Rick Astley

  • Image of ronaldpagan by ronaldpagan at 02:58 PM on 04/10/08
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    The lyrics to "Forever Together" were leaked and they are quite shocking. Personally I wouldn't rhyme "Nam" with "gone" but that's why I'm not the world's #1 Republican songsmith. America's sweethearts, the McCain Girls, are planning to sing backup.

    The torture you went through in 'Nam
    Is how I feel when you are gone
    Iraq might last a thousand years
    Just like each minute you're not near
    You can't identify a Shiite
    But I know that you can treat me right
    I always get a raging boner
    For senators from Arizona
    You might talk straight, but it's a sham
    You need the love of one good man
    I'll wear down all your inhibitions
    With skills I learned from years of missions
    Oh John, you don't need no wide stance
    To get in Orrin Hatch's pants
    My makeup is a modest dollop
    I don't slather it like a trollop
    Divorce yourself from Cindy's snatch
    And make sweet love to Orrin Hatch

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