World’s Greatest Wonk’d: Bernanke, Novak, Ridge, Thompson, America’s Mayor & Many More!

 

Wonkette set me up!A week ago today, we bitterly presented the World’s Worst Wonk’d. The “D.C. celebrity sightings” consisted of George Will buying another fucking book at Borders, and a fireman who had once been on local teevee. We demanded that you people get it together, and you got it together! Huzzah for Wonkette Operatives! This week, Fred Thompson, Robert Mueller, Tom Ridge, Juan Williams, Marion Barry, Ben Bernanke, Ken Mehlman, Robert Novak, Dana Milbank, Mark Warner, and David Frum were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. The most voyeuristic fun ever in Wonkette’s Five Long Years of History, after the jump.

Have you seen someone we’ve heard of somewhere in or near the district? Take a cellphone pic, eavesdrop on their sleazy conversations, and tell us about it in an email, with the subject line “Wonk’d.”

  • Loser Presidential Candidate Fred Thompson, sitting in a way too tiny table at the Rossyln Starbucks. Appeared to be talking to two mid level government workers / or really crappily dressed lobbyists at a really tiny table. A well wishers asked to shake his hand, and he obliged.

  • If you’re looking for lame ass sightings: FBI Director Robert Mueller at the Starbucks at 11th St. between E and F. Two Suburbans, at least 2 armed guards. You’d think he left the Green Zone in Baghdad, but nope, just getting coffee 2 blocks from the Hoover building. His coffee was $1.83 but I’m sure we all spotted the FBI budget about 960.00 for the gas and security detail for the 4 minutes he spent in there.
  • Just saw Tom Ridge buying socks at City Sports at 19th & L. Not much excitement, just sock buying.
  • I saw Juan Williams at DC Coast Restaurant, eating with two other men. The whole table got very excited when they ran into two women they knew. I think he had the Salmon, but it might have been tilapia.
  • Saw and spoke briefly with Hizzoner Marion Barry at the Channel Inn (oh yeah, rockin it Southwest style) last Wednesday the 26th. He looks well and drug free? He even gave me a little peck on the cheek as I was leaving. Aw. [Get an AIDS test, pronto -- Ed.]
  • I saw Ben Bernanke walking into the Kennedy Center Saturday night before 8. He was accompanied by what appeared to be his wife and a couple of bodyguards. I bet he was there to see it with free tickets too (I got free tickets as a benefit of having family playing in it). Then at intermission my brother saw none other than Ken Mehlman in the Men’s Restroom. What’s the former head of the RNC up to nowadays anyway, being glad he’s not head of the RNC? [See above -- Ed.]
  • I’m sure I spotted Robert Novak waddling around alone outside the Opera House at the Kennedy Center Monday night. I’m assuming he was there to see Rigoletto. Didn’t seem like he had a date.
  • I’m pretty sure I saw Dana Milbank and family leaving Pizzeria Paradiso Friday night. I smiled at the little girl, she did not smile back. Maybe the good pizza was too overwhelming?
  • Saw Senator, er Governor, Mark Warner @ opening night @ Nationals Ball Park. He looked like he was having a good time. Chatting with just about anyone who recognized him (sadly, many people). Some asshole stopped him in the middle of the aisle @ one point. He clogged up the whole walkway. Wasn’t his fault though, I guess.
  • I saw former Bushie speechwriter and current author/think tanker David Frum at Gold’s Gym around 4 p.m. the other Thursday. David’s one of the lucky few who can hit the gym mid-afternoon for long chats with his personal trainer about superdelegates and his latest appearance on Countdown and Hardball. Ah, the easy, laid-back life of big-thinking cable pundits. But here’s what should have us all really worried: David, if we’re going to destroy that “axis of evil” you’ve got to bench press more than a measly 130 pounds!

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

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