Wonkette
A week ago today, we bitterly presented the World's Worst Wonk'd. The "D.C. celebrity sightings" consisted of George Will buying another fucking book at Borders, and a fireman who had once been on local teevee. We demanded that you people get it together, and you got it together! Huzzah for Wonkette Operatives! This week, Fred Thompson, Robert Mueller, Tom Ridge, Juan Williams, Marion Barry, Ben Bernanke, Ken Mehlman, Robert Novak, Dana Milbank, Mark Warner, and David Frum were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. The most voyeuristic fun ever in Wonkette's Five Long Years of History, after the jump.
Have you seen someone we've heard of somewhere in or near the district? Take a cellphone pic, eavesdrop on their sleazy conversations, and tell us about it in an email, with the subject line "Wonk'd."
- Loser Presidential Candidate Fred Thompson, sitting in a way too tiny table at the Rossyln Starbucks. Appeared to be talking to two mid level government workers / or really crappily dressed lobbyists at a really tiny table. A well wishers asked to shake his hand, and he obliged.
- If you're looking for lame ass sightings: FBI Director Robert Mueller at the Starbucks at 11th St. between E and F. Two Suburbans, at least 2 armed guards. You'd think he left the Green Zone in Baghdad, but nope, just getting coffee 2 blocks from the Hoover building. His coffee was $1.83 but I'm sure we all spotted the FBI budget about 960.00 for the gas and security detail for the 4 minutes he spent in there.
- Just saw Tom Ridge buying socks at City Sports at 19th & L. Not much excitement, just sock buying.
- I saw Juan Williams at DC Coast Restaurant, eating with two other men. The whole table got very excited when they ran into two women they knew. I think he had the Salmon, but it might have been tilapia.
- Saw and spoke briefly with Hizzoner Marion Barry at the Channel Inn (oh yeah, rockin it Southwest style) last Wednesday the 26th. He looks well and drug free? He even gave me a little peck on the cheek as I was leaving. Aw. [Get an AIDS test, pronto — Ed.]
- I saw Ben Bernanke walking into the Kennedy Center Saturday night before 8. He was accompanied by what appeared to be his wife and a couple of bodyguards. I bet he was there to see it with free tickets too (I got free tickets as a benefit of having family playing in it). Then at intermission my brother saw none other than Ken Mehlman in the Men's Restroom. What's the former head of the RNC up to nowadays anyway, being glad he's not head of the RNC? [See above — Ed.]
- I'm sure I spotted Robert Novak waddling around alone outside the Opera House at the Kennedy Center Monday night. I'm assuming he was there to see Rigoletto. Didn't seem like he had a date.
- I'm pretty sure I saw Dana Milbank and family leaving Pizzeria Paradiso Friday night. I smiled at the little girl, she did not smile back. Maybe the good pizza was too overwhelming?
- Saw Senator, er Governor, Mark Warner @ opening night @ Nationals Ball Park. He looked like he was having a good time. Chatting with just about anyone who recognized him (sadly, many people). Some asshole stopped him in the middle of the aisle @ one point. He clogged up the whole walkway. Wasn't his fault though, I guess.
- I saw former Bushie speechwriter and current author/think tanker David Frum at Gold's Gym around 4 p.m. the other Thursday. David's one of the lucky few who can hit the gym mid-afternoon for long chats with his personal trainer about superdelegates and his latest appearance on Countdown and Hardball. Ah, the easy, laid-back life of big-thinking cable pundits. But here's what should have us all really worried: David, if we're going to destroy that "axis of evil" you've got to bench press more than a measly 130 pounds!
Comments
Ken Mehlman was cruising the Kennedy Center as he does have standards you know.
@AfghanVet: Hah hah! I forgot about poor old Ken Mehlman (former head of the Republican party). What is he doing for money now? Turning tricks in the bathroom of Union Station?
Has anyone Paul Wolfowitz buying socks? Just wondering.
Ooh, did Tom Ridge buy himself a mouth?
He lost his many years ago in a tragic hunting accident.
He is from Pennsylvania, you know.
If Robert Novak was seeing an opera, I would have assumed it was "Faust."
A bunch of DC operatives in DC? Is this crazy topsy-turvy day or something? BTW, I spotted a bunch of Californian yuppies in oversized cars with shitty bumper-stickers in Austin... what do I win?
P.S. New movie idea: Ken Mehlman's Chin Is Missing!
@norbizness: "Ken Mehlman's Chin is Missing"? I think a more apt movie title would be "Ken Mehlman's Beard is Missing".
you should take Novak off your list of notable Wonk'd sightings. In addition to the fact he looks like he's already dead, he parks in the garage on Penn across 17th from the EEOB. He drives a newish cheeselord Corvette, and I see him (and his buttboy, who - I shit you note - carries his briefcase) on a weekly basis.
also - for anyone wishing to get a look at another notable old bag - Helen Thomas has coffee in the Starbucks next door every morning before 8:00 a.m.
Gosh, I wouldn't know any of these non-celebs you're talking about if I bumped into them with my wood-chipper.
Old Marion has been a fixture on the Maine Ave waterfront for years. He rotates a bit between the bars of the restaurants, essentially driving out the regular customers until the place is too skanky for even him, then he switches to another bar and starts the cycle over again.
"At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child - miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill disciplined, despotic, and useless. Liberalism is the philosophy of sniveling brats." - P.J. O'Rourke
I found it in "another fucking book" I've read.
@Winghunter: What a great quote! And if you can't read a whole fucking book, you can just read it in your previous Wonkette comment, because it's an all-purpose quote!
@Winghunter:
Um, how the fuck is your quote relevant to this?
"The Democrats are the party of government activism, the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller, and get the chickweed out of your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then get elected and prove it." -P. J O'Rourke.
"Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives." -John Stuart Mill.
I knowze how to googlze TOO!
Who approved Ken Mehlman as a commenter?
@Winghunter: This guy is hopeless. I come here when I'm bored to read some funnies and he just shits all over the satire. Go back to redstate and pound some Budweiser with your trailer park buddies.
I have a new theory about guys like this: He's probably so freaking awesome that he doesn't even own his own trailer. Instead he just crashes on couches in other people's trailers. I think that makes him white trashes trash.
@Ken Layne: I don't think that could be Ken Mehlman posting as Winghunter because you can't get internet access from men's room at Union Station.....because of the concrete walls...believe me I've tried.
Given PJ's long history of drug abuse, including a cocaine etiquette article back when he was funny (or writing, for that matter... did that fucker drop of the face of the planet, or is he writing Dennis Miller's monologues?), I think that may be more an expression of self-loathing.
@Winghunter:
Exactly. Liberals are spoiled brats.
That's why you should join the communist party, kids!
Winghunter is...BANNED. But now where am I going to go for useless misplaced quotes to confuse my guests at my weekend cocktail parties?
@Botswana Meat Commission FC: And stop encouraging the trolls or you'll turn into one! It is contagious!
Yeah, you never outgrow the trailer court. I spent my early years at Lot # 39. My wife loves to read those police log entries out of the newspaper to me - its predictably a Lot #.
BTW, there aren't many people more worthless than Tom Ridge.
WHO THE HECK CARES ABOUT MARION BARRY?!@*%^($*#()
Really--who cares?
Comment on World's Greatest Wonk'd: Bernanke, Novak, Ridge, Thompson, America's Mayor I happen to be at the LA sports club bar, yes they have one, IT SUCKS, a few weeks ago when Mr. Barry walked in led by a PYT. I must admit I was star struck. I mean what man can be mayor, go to jail for drugs, caught for prostitution, elected to DC council (the most corrupt council alive) back to jail for tax evasion, get in a fight with a priest about a water purification something or other, and be robbed of his drug money grocery money by some young kids, and still get a fawning crowd, free drinks, and a bunch of strangers singing you happy 70th birthday... It was too much Becca Doll Staff Assistant Market Square West 801 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Suite 720 Washington, DC 20004 202/639-8400 202/639-8442 (fax) www.rer.org
What does Tom Ridge have in common with a penguin?
Happy Feat!
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