Wonkette
Every four years Democrats say they're going to win elections by getting more young 'uns and black people to vote, and every four years George Bush gets elected again. But this time will be different, says Barack Obama, because he is getting "folks" to register to vote and he will kick their asses if they don't.
Obama's deputy campaign manager Steve Hildebrand swears that states like Ohio could maybe definitely swing more toward the Democratic this side. Why? [Because Ken Blackwell isn't the secretary of state anymore. — Ed.] On account of the Internets, and the youths, and the possibility that a black candidate might persuade more black voters to turn out. Not to mention the fact that Obama has a massive army of volunteers in the dewy spring of adulthood who can think of nothing more enjoyable than spending 30 hours a week asking cranky retirees in the Midwest for their vote.
John McCain, on the other hand, has little in the way of a volunteer army except for Heidi Montag and Rambo, which when you think about it is all he needs.
Obama readies plan to reshape the electorate [Politico]
Comments
Be HEALED, little polio-child!
Without Chuck Norris, the Republican Party is doomed.
Yep, nothing like vapid Obambitarts to persuade an out of work autoworkers to vote for Barry "cause, you know, he's GREAT!"
Maybe if they're handing out blow-jobs...
Maybe.
Or at least blowing out hand jobs.
Oh no! Why does he have a walker? Bowling-related accident, perhaps? Or is he trying to relate to McCain's crucial centegenarian demographic?
Heidi Montag is the POSTER CHILD for McWalnuts.
How can Stallone be endorsing McCain when Hillary is Rocky?
Barry bowling with little white women. What's next, Hills playing dice in the back alley with Tron?
Looks like he won over mini-Hillary and her bright pink pantsuit.
@pickletickle:
Tron is living...for the citaaaaaay.
@GaCracker:
I'm sure that the Hilsbots screaming at the same guy to vote Hils "because she's entitled" won't be any more successful. Of course, it means blow jobs.
The younger and prettier Obamamites have the edge as who really wants to be gummed by a senior?
Every independent who pledges to vote for Barry will get a free subscription to either "O" or "Teen" magazine. If the pledge is to vote for Hillary, then "Modern Maturity".
I like this 100% of the vote strategy. It works pretty well for tinpot dictators, why not here?
Off-topic: Can Wonkette cut the cord on Jezebel, please? The "shooting dunks" headline has pushed me over the edge.
I doubt these students will get off their asses again in November, he's sunk if he's relying on the young to win the national election.
@NBAWRITER1: hah! I read it as "Shooting Drunks" at first and wondered about his strategy there....
@ManchuCandidate: true, but if the Obambitarts are new to "blows for votes" game they might gag adn bite...
Shit, the young...girls anyway...would much rather pull a "Monica" on Obama than McCain.
Chicka bow bow...
Obama is too black to be president. And young. And tall. And smart.
Back in the day, MTV called it "Rock the Vote," and it didn't work then either, so Obama just quit fucking stealing everyone else's lousy ideas.
Fun Fact: Before that high-five, that little girl was an elderly woman from Ohio. That can be you, Ohio.
@BoHan: True but then again, when MTV did it, the choices didn't include MTV. And they did it by trying to make voting "cool" while Obama just does it by being Obama.
@Naked Bunny with a Whip: Heh. Just ask Joe Scarborough. Evidently, Obama's too wussy because he spent his time at Harvard Law studying and reading... instead of swilling beer and bowling... or something.God forbid we have a president who READS! *gasp*
Joe is a douchey jock... but you knew that.
A young, black man might be better at turning out the young, black vote than a old, white man? Interesting theory.
I also love how they try to morph the 'under-30' demographic into college students. Yeah, all those late twenties volunteers with jobs who pay taxes will be too flighty to vote in the general election.
I'm one of those Obamatards who ran around getting people registered. They literally sent us to a pub in Scranton, PA, armed with registration slips. A pub.
@Rottenart:
Yeah, I don't get that. I don't want a guy like my dad running the country.
@ronaldpagan: A Samoan pub?
Sfx drum/cymbal noise for the editor's note.
@ronaldpagan: They wanted us to go to a St. Patrick's Day parade.
I guess in Erie it isn't the alcohol fueled festival of public vomiting it is in my hometown, though.
god that's a cute picture! If that girl had tried to do that to hillary you totally know her kitty would be dead by now.
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