Wonkette
Jesus criminy, this news makes us forget entirely about the 5-year-old Iraq War thing this morning! Because like you, we have been fearing the next Congress and its unfortunate lack of gay Idaho Senator Larry Craig. (That is, unless he changes his mind and runs for reelection, which is likely). But can Craig's seat be usurped by an equally comical legislator-monkey? No, but one candidate in the open-seat Idaho senate race shows great potential. Meet independent candidate Marvin Richardson, who has legally changed his name to "Pro-Life." Wonkette hereby endorses him for any office he ever wants.
Pro-Life is an "organic strawberry farmer" from Letha, Idaho — the "Topeka of Gem County, Idaho." He lost the 2006 gubernatorial election and was dismayed that Idaho laws wouldn't allow him to use "Pro-Life" on the ballot, as it was only a "slogan."
The Strawberry Man knew what he had to do to stick it to these damn bureaucrats. He changed his entire name to "Pro-Life" in court, much like McLovin from that delightful sex movie Superbad. Except McLovin only had a fake ID.
Ahh, McLovin. Wait, what? Oh yes, the senatorial candidate who changed his name to Pro-Life. Well, he is insane:
Now, though, officials in the Idaho secretary of state's office say they have no choice because Pro-Life is his full and only name. He says he will run for the highest state office on the ballot every two years for the rest of his life, advocating murder charges for doctors who perform abortions and for women who obtain the procedure ...
David Ripley, executive director of Idaho Chooses Life, says he knows and respects Pro-Life but fears some voters may think Pro-Life is a position rather than a candidate and mistakenly mark their ballots both for him and for another anti-abortion candidate for the Senate, thus nullifying their choices.
Ha ha, the various potatoes that comprise the Idaho electorate probably would elect a policy stance, instead of a human, to national office. Pro-Life for Senate 2008! And 2010 and 2012 and 2014 and then he'll probably be dead!
Aspiring Pol Changes Name To Pro-Life [AP/CBS News]
Comments
Maybe Hillary should change her name to "Not Jeremiah Wright"
Naw, he's just doing it to pick up crazy eye Fundie women for freaky sex.
That's it: I'm Changing my name to Jesus Christ and moving to Idaho.
He'd have better luck by changing his name to Little Unborn Baby Boy--who wouldn't vote for one of them?
Larry Craig just announce his name change to "I Love My Wife AND Anal Sex."
I thought he changed his name to Miley Cyrus?
Don't insult Letha like that.
God, Topeka is a shithole.
I'm changing mine to "Thank you for coming out today."
There was a South Carolina confederate hero named States Rights Gist (that's a hard "G" as in "git"). He's buried in the Trinity Cathedral graveyard across the street from the SC statehouse, and his grandfather was named Constitution Gist.
FUCK THE TRI-COUNTY AREA.
Yeah, I said it! Tri-county area is for punk bitchzzz.
/The Quad Cities
I love this country.
OK, I can't get over that poster. I could stare at it all day.
Not only does it assert that there's an exceptional TRI-COUNTY that does indeed LOVE LIFE, but it also appears that the Tri-County's various pro-life hausfraus felt the sentiment wasn't clear enough and went back and penciled in the names of the three counties that do indeed comprise the aforementioned glorious TRI-COUNTY.
Just think of the pressure he would put on Idaho voters if he changed his name to "Potatoes"?
Ah, those Idaho nutcases. He should have changed his name to Ashley Alexander Dupré.
Wouldn't electing a policy stance be a GOOD idea for a change? Not that one, I mean.
So now his mother's sister is Auntie Life?
"Pro-Blood Dripping, Rusty Wire Hanger" would have been much catchier.
Wouldn't fit on a ballot, I 'spect,
Imagine the junk mail nightmare:
"Dear Mr. Life. Greetings to you, Mrs. Life and all the little Lifes. We hope life is pleasant in the Life household..."
Strawberry Man: I am Pro Life!
World outside Idaho: No you're not. No one's Pro Life. Pro Life's never existed because that's a made up dumb FUCKING FAIRY TALE NAME, YOU FUCK!
@regina: There was a guy running against Newt Gingrich in suburban Atlanta named Gary Pelphrey; he sued because they wouldn't call him "Bats" Pelphrey on the ballot. And when Al Lewis ran for Mayor of New York as the Green Party candidate, he wanted them to list him as "Grandpa Munster". Come to think of it, I think the eventual winners of those elections should have been called "Bats" and "Grandpa Munster."
Awesome. This worked out really well for the the last Republican nutjob who tried a name change in a desperate bid for state office:
[en.wikipedia.org]
"open-seat Idaho senate race" has Larry Craig written all over it.
Hey! Y'all holdin' tha sign! We know which counties are in the 'Tri-County' conglomeration! Y'all don't have to tell us! But I appreciate y'all droppin' science like Galileo dropped tha orange!
What if a challenger changed his name to Anti-Pro-Life? Now THAT would be fun.
Idaho is just one of those places, Colonel Bo Greitz (excuse me Sir if I spelled it wrong) and Elizabeth Clair Prophet each have their own little End Times Hegemonies going on up there,not to mention that the local Native Americans were the first on the continent to make Nose Piercing a social statement! (Had my own pierced, looks great!)I've actually been to Idaho three times, not that I have any desire to return that is. Idaho potatoes suck though. Eat Maine potatoes, give my cousins a job.
...is anyone in the republican party sane?!
i'm changing my name to "click here and get a free ipod"
When he loses in his election bid, he'll change his name to After-Life.
I like when Republicans admit how stupid their base really is.
I love pictures of a pro-life rally. Everyone looks like they: hate life, are bat shit crazy, and/or are poorly evolved.
What if in 2016, after eight years of a successful WALNUTS! administration, Senator Pro-Life and Congresswoman DraculaCunt run against each other for the Republican nomination? What are we to do? WHAT ARE WE TO DO????
There was a guy in East Tennessee who legally changed his middle name to "Low-Tax" to run for state Senate. He wound up murdering the guy he was running against. So anybody running against Pro-Life might want to think about bodyguards.
One thing Republicans do well: the whole keep-the-message-simple thing.
A democrat would probably change his name to "I Support Tax Credits for Middle Class families Combined With A Delayed Reduction In Iraq Troop Levels And Increased Funding for Renewable Energy Sources."
@Lazy Media:
Wow. That is some crazy shit i'd never heard about before. I love that he still got 1,500 or so votes after being convicted of murder. That's great.
I'd vote for Super Tuber!
(There. I said it.)
Here in Savannah, GA we have a local dingbat who changed his name to Pro-Life Anderson. he made an unsuccessful run for city council and now spends his days driving around in a car with a portable anti-abortion diorama on the roof.
@Serolf Divad: Problem is, your screen name then would be Tsirhc Susej.
The really sets the stage for Trout Fishing in America Shorty's entrance into the Idaho senate race.
@WadISay:
No, she married Joe Christ.
@gjdodger: I was living in the same building as good ol' Grampa Munster when he was running for office. He actually campaigned the streets of Roosevelt Island dressed as his character from the show. My god, it was beautiful.
so what, that's 'pro-life strawberries, $2.99 this week only'?
I love life so much I'm gonna murder a baby to prove it. Screw you tri-county!
@Gyrus: "portable anti-abortion diorama on the roof."
oh. my. god.
Somebody should start a blog about the crazies in local politics. It'd be a little incubator for budding Michelle Bachmanns and Rick Santorums of the country, a backwoods batshitcrazy starmaker.
Then again, on the off-chance something like that would attract enough attention to ACTUALLY make stars, well, that'd suck.
Why not?
After all the new Governor of New York's first name is "Legally Blind."
How about changing his name to Douche Bag?
that's it! let's take idaho's senate seats away from them & give them to some deserving locality like....think,think....oh yea, puerto rico or even france.
Larry Craig can be "Pro Dick".
I would vote for a pro-strawberry platform. Although biologically speaking, strawberries are not actually berries. The things I learn from that Cranium game!
Its all part of the walk softly and carry a big dick policy.
@Serolf Divad: 'That's it: I'm Changing my name to Jesus Christ and moving to Idaho.'
awww, Jesus Christ, we hardly knew ye! (do they have any internets tubes in Idaho?)
@metropolitan: I'm thinking more "Should Hillary Quit?"
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