Wonkette

In case you were wondering:

@Serolf Divad: That was a very informative list, however it could have been WAY longer.

BTW, anyone wanna go in on this "Kristen" individual?

worth every penny.

Why hasn't Obama renounced blurry nipples?

I can tell from that photo that she's a classy gal.

I just got 35 cents back from the vending machine after buying a bag of Skittles. What will that get me?

Makes me proud to be an American, and a Democrat. Spitzer has taste!

Maybe she pissed off Charlie X.

I'd say depending on what state you're from as a Senator, you get different levels of sexual goodness. Don't forget Larry Craig had David Phillips. Break me off a piece of that, Larry!

@shortsshortsshorts: I'll take mouth.

Fine porking material to be sure. However, being forced to live in Idaho for the rest of one's life as a consequence thereof makes it an unattractice deal

Alright...lemme just say 105lb? At 5'6" and 145, I can say with authority that those thighs and nipple-less breasts add a good 20lb to the stats at least!

It must be her. After all, her name is Kristen, and she's a New York escort. I mean, how many of them could there be, right?

I won't spend the first dollar until I can confirm whether the nipples are silver-dollar pancake size or if they're buffalo nickel size. If either nipple is an innie, I'm outta there. [www.politiporn.com]

Jesus. These things are expensive. How much does it cost to have an Empire Escort with a face?

I'm a face guy. You know, I like to look into the eyes, and talk.

Somewhere Judith Regan is waiting by her phone with the usual script and paperwork. At least we know what the book cover will look like now.

@tillyann: and there is no way that girl in that picture is only 5'5".

Sadly for us, this is only going to up her fee.

Absolutely positively Sara K. Smith. What else could the 'K' stand for, anyway?

Fine wines go so well with unprotected anal poundings.

He can change.

@tillyann:

You're probably right; the girl is solid unlike some of the twigs we pass off as "supermodels" these days. She's definitely made for comfort and probably won't break after the first ride. She looks healthy and there's nothing wrong with that. Say what you want about Spitzer's ethics, but the man has taste. And...unlike, most Republicans, she's not a teenage boy. No nipples or face, but not a boy either.

@tillyann: @violettefay: Are you questioning the trustworthiness of people who sell sex for a living?

The real tragedy is the pain and suffering the whore and her whore friends will suffer from eventually being outed, hounded by media scum, offered incredibly lucrative book and movie deals, and then being worshipped by men around the world.

@Senator Boomdog: Kristen will take over as the preferred name of 'dancers' everywhere. In 2008 parents will overwhealming name their children, both male and female, Kristen. Craigslist personal ads will be dominated by people posting under Kristen.

@Serolf Divad: Isn't that last one a pic of Michelle Malkin?

How interesting.

@violettefay: I concur. I am 5'5" and heavier than she, is and I look a LOT skinnier. Her chest and thighs alone show she is not that thin. It is odd that she would lie, too, because she looks just fine, and, truly, what guy is going to look at her pic and say "oh, no, she is 125, sorry, I only pay for under 110 lbs". I mean, guys would not even know what those measurements mean in most cases.

that it is!

I wonder if she and other mucho $$$ Ho's are the reason so many people took out second mortgages on thier homes?

I hope she can afford a shirt that fits now.

@Serolf Divad: You wisely kept Bob Allen off that list, as his offer of $20 to GIVE oral sex would certainly have messed with the whole "$ to receive" matrix.

@slithytoves: or to buy herself some nipples and a face.

@Doglessliberal: Hey, we're clueless. I'm in my early 30s and I still have (male) friends who don't get that the number and letter in a bra size relate to two different things.

How cool would he look with hair?

Dang! So that's where I left my grey tank top.

Call me, Kirsten, so I can swing by and pick it up. Also, we still on for next Tuesday?

Why is she even bothering to wear that "shirt" in the photo?

Also, I have to thank the networks for the parade of professional whores they subjected everyone to this morning! I'm sure all the kids enjoyed listening to their opinions on "why a man might cheat on his wife".

Too Courtney-Cox angular for me. She might make a good cougar, tho, some time in the future.

@Dave J.: Ah, yes, bra size. It is a secret--deeply mystical and passed through secret cabals. I am sure the Jezebels could tell you. At length. And with side trips into diatribe-land about your ignorance and sexism. That is why I am here, not there.

@marSF: as opposed to amateur ones?

You know, if she's 5'5" and 105, she's probably a 32D, not a 34C. It's a damn shame she doesn't know how to buy a bra that fits at her rate.

Also, I'm shocked, shocked mind you, that a website promoting a hooker might fudge a bit on her weight numbers.

What is the world coming to? Where is the accountability? The integrity?

@lascauxcaveman: the FTC should get involved--this is false advertising!

I denounce and repudiate blurry nipples. They must come out sharp and well-lit on every picture, dammit!

@Citizen Kang: Your 35 cents in change will get you Barbara Bush

Breaking - Wall Streeters are also desperate to find a picture of Kristin. They want to erect a statue in her honor.

He hookers I use just like crack.

That description is total bullshit. They claim she has blue-green eyes, when you can clearly see that they're sort of a blurry pinkish brown.

By "blue green" eyes, do they mean teal, or one of each?

@catmybunny: yes Wall Street doing a lot of erecting over this story. Wash your hands if you touch anything in that part of town

@Doglessliberal: If only we had a rising-star lawyer to tirelessly root out this kind of shameful deceit. Why, I'd make that man governor for his efforts.

@rastignac: Which one?

In addition to the fudging on her weight, I also doubt she's been to every "remote beach and far-flung island in the world." Man, you just can't trust hookers these days.

And you'd think she could afford something that fits.

@tillyann:
I realize that's beside the point, but agreed. I had a roommate who was 5 foot 5 and 108 once and she was a teensy little pixie.

Kristen (Spcl.K NYSE)
Last Trade: 12500.
Trade Time: 1:52PM ET
Change: 1500. (1.13%)
Prev Close: 4300.
Open: 11000.

Do you think her prehensile labia could help me out with this bottle of cream soda?

@tillyann: she has 20 pounds worth of nipples. That's why she gets $4500 after she puts them on.

@rastignac:

Barbara Bush the grandmotherly matron of the Bush clan or Barbara Bush the more sober of the fun-time twins? 'Cuz if 35 cents will get me the latter, I'm willing to go with a 50/50 wager.

5'5 at 105? Maybe after she detaches a leg ala Heather Mills. Which might just make it worth the money. Damn legs ALWAYS get in the way.

@Serolf Divad @shortsshortsshorts: Here's one more:

Kristen also wants you to know that she shaves her underarms after every meal.

i thought i'd type her body type info into google to find her on a modeling site, but...

[www.brittanysplace.com]

anyone think that she's "Jill"?

But how many whore-diamonds was she??!!

But how many whore-diamonds is she??!!

Damn you, series of tubes!

@mahousu: Oh c'mon, we're all way bigger than that....

@mahousu: Come on, my man boobs are waaay bigger than that.

"...She'll don a slinky dress, and very high heels, and you can both appreciate the refinements. Also, she has big tits.

@Doglessliberal: Well the hooker that was on GMA was supposedly a 2k-an-hour "professional". She claimed to be 26 but they interviewed her outside in daylight so she appeared to be about 45 with a truckload of bad make-up on. The Today Show had a near-tranny in studio and also younger stupid one who chimed in from Canada.

I guess this is what you get when your production crew has only 24 hours to rustle up some call girls!

@shortsshortsshorts: BTW, anyone wanna go in on this "Kristen" individual?

I'm in for three minutes.

Let's give Spitzer some credit here: At least Kristin doesn't look like his wife. That would have been weird.

I've already cranked two out just looking at the blurring picture. Hint: If you cross your eyes the picture is clear as day. Any idea how much I owe her for that? I suck at math. [www.politiporn.com]

@DeliveryDevice:

ROFLMAO

Too funny!

Samantha is way hotter than Kristen.

@BOO_BOO_HOFF:
Michelle who? Never heard of her.

Yeah, I bet Kristen will be invited to put on her very high heels, slinky dress and slink over to ring the bell at the NYSE one of these days.

Those are some depressed boobies.

@elburrito: Hah hah. He hookers!

That is NOT a 24 year blur. That's at least 32 years of blur.

But what does Kristen do for three hours for $4,300? At that rate, she should be reading Shakespeare, performing Beatles songs, donning several elaborate costume changes, be backed up by a band, supply some caviar, champagne and smoked salmon, and do complex gymnastics routines all over the Mayflower.

@thefrontpage: Only 2 things she has to do: (1) fuck, and (2) NOT TELL. The fucking is worth somewhere between $50-$250. It's the not telling that will cost you.

@WestEndEd: Its not enough to renounce them. He has to denounce making the motorboat sound with his mouth also.