Wonkette

Barak should wear all the pool's voice recorders in a dashing bandolier.

A Secret Service spokesman said the woman "seemed friendly."

Wanna see me make all the white people disappear? [Voice over PA system: North Carolina Primary, next stop....]

slow news day?

"Here, just take all of it. You can have my wallet too. Just please don't hurt me. I have children."

Please speak directly into my Word Twister 2000 Mechanical Device.

She must be breaking some record, and some laws of nature.

That second photo has been darkened.

Will 6 cellphones and a BJ save me from certain death, o' threatening black man?

@weazel: Bandolier? Maybe that would help him capture some of the Hispanic vote.

My precinct was so evenly divided by race that I thought a gang fight was gonna break out during our caucus.

What electronic device says "change" better than a TV remote?

Someone gave Janeway decaf again, I see.

He's so hot, she has to use a tiny, tiny Geiger Counter to approach him. You women!

BTW: Is that some nicotine patch slapped over his left eye by Michelle? Or is he morphing?

It's all the hidden superdelegates. They're in her pockets.

@WideStanceRomancer: Bob? Bob Allen? Is that you? I barely recognized you, what with the sex change'n'all.

BTW: Gizo lady is actually asking for IT help. "Where's 'control-alt-delete' on these things?"

When the man talks its pure gold you need 5 back ups to make sure you dont miss a second of it.

She has enough recorders in her hands to fill the planet Nibiru!

No, sometimes when reporters are nice (it happens) we hold recorders for people who either aren't accredited or cleared by security, or who have to file a story, who simply can't get as close as we can. So she's doing favors for some of her print friends.

@MarxMarvelous:

So she's owed like 72 or 65 favors now?

How many drinks did you have before writing this, Ken?

@bitchincamaro:

Yeah pretty much. You can never have enough, especially in this day and age of downsizing -- reporters have to scramble from one story to the next and every so often they get to a story so late that they miss the whole darn thing. That's when you really appreciate that you've done so many nice things for the colleague who just happens to have a bunch of information/video that they're not going to use and so they pass it along to you. I'm always of the mindset that scooping is cool and all, but news needs to get out one way or another -- it's a public service, not a cheap competition. So I always share. I used to feed story ideas to the L.A. Times, God rest its soul, all the time because my work didn't like them. Then, of course, the story would show up on the front page and suddenly my work would be all galvanized into action to get the story on. And then I would get really mad.

But I digress. Sleeping with colleagues can work too, but has a tendency to backfire.

I mean my work didn't like my story ideas. They loved the Times.

Looks like a bunch of love-ray guns to me. The press has oodles of them at the ready.

Her paper laid off the one IT geek in the newsroom and now the poor reporter is just hoping one of the fuckin' things works.

@san antone rose: Hey! did you have young college-girl Clinton operatives pretending to be "independant observers" as well? They really fit in well at our 95% hispanic or black caucus.

In the interest of disclosure, I'm part of the 5%.

@san antone rose: Oh, and the college girls were white, too.

Way to go Hillz!

Yeah, we had a white young female "independent observer" in the room. Dressed waaay too nice and was waaay too quiet. Stood out like a sore thumb. With her clipboard.

But I swear, the Hillary supporters were a major pain in the ass, with their 5 minute updates on voter turnout and discussing how many presidents had family members who went on to also become president. I wanted to punch 'em all in the throat. And the Obama supporters were clearly hating the Hillary voters in that quiet, indignant way. Can't say I blame them.

Frankly, I was hating them all by the time we finished caucusing at MIDNIGHT.

Don't laze me ho!!!

I think America must ask itself in the post black&white era when it will be ready to embrace a Ginger president. I hope never; those Gingers are vicious, volatile freaks.

A redheaded, female reporter? Well, she certainly has no place at Wonkette!

I am willing to bet nothing of consequence was recorded on any of those devices.

Hillz is no Seven of Nine.

That's McCain's great granddaughter come from the future.

I always pegged Obama as more of a Neelix type. Building bridges and all that. Yes, I proudly admit I pegged that image correctly ("Tsunkatse," late season six) in seconds.

@flavorflav: You are all nerds, all of you.

@Ken Layne: If you got the reference, then you're a nerd too.

@Lymed: Well, I did write this goofy post.

Can we please get back to the image of pegging Obama? Mmm hmm.

One of the "remotes" is translating the Brackisms back to Mark Penn Campaign Headquarters. The words sound like this: "djkrejkre fdjkrejrek werkljkelwjre tjekrejkrlej FUCK HILLARY fjkdljfkdljfdfjkdlfjd djkdkfjkdjfdkjfdkjfkdjfdkfwelrkewlrkejrkrlekre."

ah! the new iReport-o-matic 3000. just key in the name of your publication and number of words, and it automagically turns out a piece for said publication. the top-most iR3000 held in her right hand, for instance, generated Clinton, Obama Go on Attack As Superdelegates Hold Key (WSJ) out of Obama's (pointing to the right) "this way to the men's room?".

@Ken Layne: Change You Can Believe In.
Pic #2: The Audacity of Toast.

One move, and the ginger-nut gets it.

The woman looks slightly panicky because the button marked "inspirational chin-lift" on one of Obama's remotes has malfunctioned! The candidate's chin has slumped alarmingly, and the knot in his tie is producing a "depressing double-chin effect" usually reserved for John McCain.

wait. so obama is actually tuvok?

I think she is actually operating the controls that make the fake Obama run. The real Obama is back home in Chicago getting jiggy with it.