Wonkette
This whole “presumptive nominee” thing must be serious, because the New York Times just dumped a million-word “investigative report” on how John McCain is the sleaziest sack of scum since, uh, all the other Republicans who already dropped out of the race. Also: Did he have a Dirty Sex Affair with some lobbyist broad who looks suspiciously like his current wife? Let’s find out!
Under a grainy black-and-white 1970s-looking mafia photograph of McCain as he “conferred with his lawyers before testifying in January 1991 before the Senate Ethics Committee regarding his involvement with Charles Keating and the Lincoln Savings and Loan,” the NYT samples from the rich trove of Corrupt McCain evidence and comes up with this pretty good initial batch of sleaze:
- While Grandpa Straight Talk was running for the presidency in 2000, all his aides were going nuts because he was constantly traveling with a good-looking lobbyist gal who was, at the time, in her early thirties.
- Whether or not McCain and Vicki Iseman were having sexytime on the corporate jets he used to fly around the country, McCain did do the bidding of Iseman’s clients.
- At this point, he had barely cleared his name from the Keating Five Savings & Loan scandal.
- In one of his few acknowledgments that the Arizona senator has ever been to Arizona, McCain made a point of not flying direct from National Airport to Phoenix because he had some part in opening up that commercial air route — but because he always flies in luxury private jets provided by the Corporates, it didn’t much inconvenience him.
- McCain helped launch some campaign-ethics group, but the group ended up doing the exact same corrupt things it was supposedly against, so he quit in shame.
- Corrupt banker/developer Charles Keating was, obviously, an immediate supporter of McCain’s long congressional career. Keating showered dirty money and fancy vacations on McCain, who loves all that shit.
- Then McCain tried to get the government off the back of Keating’s failing corrupt Lincoln Savings and Loan, because McCain really wants to get government off the backs of his corrupt millionaire friends.
- McCain got caught, but somehow clung to his senate seat.
- But McCain can still pretend to “wince” at the memory of getting caught, so who cares if the bailout cost American taxpayers $3.4 billion?
- He also got caught having a big lobbyist fund-raising deluxe luxury fancy party in 2000. So he ran and hid like a little girl.
- Lobbyists control his entire miserable, corrupt life.
- He loves lobbyists, both in the figurative and literal sense, because he was probably screwing that one lobbyist.
- And when the lobbyists need a quick letter to the FCC or whatever to help their clients, John Maverick McCain is always quick to help, the end.
For McCain, Self-Confidence on Ethics Poses Its Own Risk [NYT]
Republican presidential hopeful, Sen. John McCain [AP Photo]
Comments
It won't matter. Senator Palpatine will soon sound the signal by which the extermination of the Jedi will begin...
Oh wait...wrong reality...carry on, then.
This whole thing sounds like one sexy, sexy party. With vicodin. And banks!
This is just how a maverick, straight talking type of dude gets the job done, right, sugar lips?
At least he followed the "no fat chicks" rule
Hmm. Not bad McCain. Not the greatest choice of a blond to boink, but not bad.
McCain: "Whew. Thank God they're not running with the story and photos of me & Keating playing naked-horsey."
My favorite part was:
'"I have never betrayed the public trust by doing anything like that," he said. He made the statements in a call to Bill Keller, the executive editor of The New York Times, to complain about the paper's inquiries.'
In other words, he denied these charges while being a whiny bitch to us.
Ha ha. Still "very proud of your country", Cindy?? Even as your husband is screwing around behind your back?? Who woulda thunk he would cheat on his wife with a younger blonde...
oh, wait... never mind, Cindy.
Semi-affairs? I used to have those... until I semi-knocked a girl up and got her semi-pregnant.
Watching MSNBC, and the GOP pundits are freaking the fuck out. Pat Buchanan is going to stroke out.
Oh, and someone better keep an eye on the medicine cabinet wherever Cindy is tonight.
She was, what...32 during McWalnuts!' first prez campaign, while he was the strapping, virile age of 63.
Cindy had a twitch in her eye before this (granted she had a stroke or something). Now watch her make smart ass comments about Michelle.
@NotNotLickingToads: And when John McCain was 31, she was...0?
Wait a minute: maybe John McCain is really her dad!
@loquaciousmusic: So if I get your point, John McCain is a pedophile.
@loquaciousmusic: John McCain has been over 55 since he was 2. Strange, but true...I have proof...
She looks like his wife, so thats only semi-cheating. Plus the GOP is elated its not a scandal involving children or gay hustlers.
3.4 billion? That really doesn't sound like that much money now. I long for a cockup on a national scale that only costs us 3.4 billion. Heck, Iraq costs that much like every two seconds or something.
I can't wait to see the tantrum Cranky Ol' John McCain throws at tomorrow's press conference!
OK, sorry about the re-post, but...
The straight talk express has lost yet another wheel.
This story is really livening up an otherwise boring Wednesday night. I just wish that it had broken right after the Repube convention.
No 'missionary" for McCain; his arms don't work so well...would butterscotchcrotch Iseman concur?
The sad thing is, this occurred at a time when I actually had a lot of respect for McCain. I feel slighted...bamboozled...cheated upon (much like his first wife).
Just padding his resume perhaps. McCain? boinking? Illicit boinking-No. Illegal banking-Better check.
wow, four people on the byline...
and here we go!
I think we now have the "Straight Talk Sexpress!"
Does anyone else smell an RNC hatchet-job?
Affairbruary?
@el topo:
> Does anyone else smell an RNC hatchet-job?
No, but I did smell McCains finger and I'm afraid he's guilty as sin!
@NotNotLickingToads: You were just watching HBO, weren't you.
@fileunder: Plus two who "contributed research", which presumably means they smelled McCain's finger. That's 6 folks participating in the NYT McCaingBang.
For these reasons, we endorse the presidential candidacy of the Grumpy Old POW. NYT
@Bypartizoa: I'm not saying that he's not guilty, or that his finger isn't stenchy. I'm just kind of wondering if this isn't a Rove-style means for Republicans to discredit McCain and push for a dark-lord selected nominee at the convention--you know, a fascist loon who will appeal to the fascist-loon wing of the GOP. It's probably a nutty idea, but it doesn't really seem all that far-fetched to me.
I like that photo up there of McCain showin' how he worked the Spankable Piece. Nice.
@Rickish:
yep - and Rutenberg alone is kind of a badass (in a delightful way).
@Harvey Birdman: Lord no...Episodes 1-3 make me want to claw my eyes out and punch George Lucas over the casting/script.
The scene where Annakin Skywalker is all conflicted about killing Dookoo, and he's all "I shouldn't," and then John McCain is like "do it"...yeah, that acting just kills me.
But seriously, take that pic up top and photoshop either a black cowl over it or some mummy bandages, and you're in bidness.
Also, he seems to have the same dentist as the monster in Pan's Labyrinth.
mike huckabee majored in miracles and god has delivered once again!
@el topo: The timing of this long-ago activity, now a media kerfuffle, is suspect.
Maybe it has to do with McCain running out of money?
@el topo: I would not be surprised if you are correct on this. The "fascist-loon wing" of the GOP seems livid about McCain and and this certainly seems like something they would do.
McCain Camp photo proving that Miami-to-DC flight shananigans were impossible at the time (but oh so tempting):
Nixon was a soulless, dead-eyed card sharp in the army, which included cheating whenever possible, especially if he could take the last dollar from some kid before he march off to his death. Yet, a lack of a human conscience did not keep him from the presidency
I bet McCain put the moves on her with some cheesey pun about "straight talk".
God how I'd love to be fucked by John McCain. Repeatedly and with only the briefest of respites.
You know Cindy looks pretty wacked out, and this Iseman chick has that crazy-eye thing going on. But I think Walnuts has just been working his way up. He needs to give in to his crazy-bitches urge and hook up with this gal:
[img185.imageshack.us]
@mrblifil: You mustn't say such things. You really mustn't.
With this bombshell, its too bad that Barry was attacked and killed by a vampire today:
[d.yimg.com]
Wait. Isn't having an affair with a chick who looks like your wife kinda missing the point?
Why all the Hillary vitriol? How is her socialisation any different from anyone on this board. It does seem as if many people here think they are "better" than she. She's a politican and does what we want and deserve from all politicans. She lies and puts lipstick on a pig so we can feel its ok to keep our collective heads buried in the sand. "We can't handle the truth about human nature and realpolitik!!
McCain did it first. Fred Thompson did it right.
Remember McCain's campaign shake-up last fall? Remember how his advisors pilfered his money, leaving him broke up against the Rom-anator and Rudy? Suppose he said some mean things to John Weaver at the time? Suppose John Weaver walked over to the Post office first, or the NYT? Suppose John Weaver brought out hte momma of all, "FUCK ME!?!?!? WELL FUCK YOU!!!" sticks?
@demtard: Not according to the anecdotal evidence I've seen on the Jerry Springer Show.
@DryFact: ... or on the Bill Clinton show.
Wait, this means that the Republican base will stop protesting him now, right? He's cheating on his wife with a WOMAN. And there are unethical financial matters connected to that affair.
That means that he is: 1- Not gay. 2- Not really that much of a "maverick" and the whole "ethics" thing was just a front. 3- Not gay.
That should temper any qualms, right?
If you're going out for a smoke break, the moon-ar eclipse is like right now. Not that Cindy McCain's dashed dreams are not important.
@DryFact: That made no sense. I'll shut up now.
I started reading that article three hours ago... got bored and distracted by the first couple of meandering, self-indulgent paragraphs.
No one's going to read that. What a lame-ass attempt at character assassination. Can't anyone at the NYT write?
Go to John McCain's website and scroll down to the the "Supporter Spotlight" section. Check out who's the first supporter to pop up. It's none other than George "Macaca" Allen.
With endorsements like that, I'm all about getting on Mr. McCain's Wild Ride of questionable integrity. (Ew.)
I'm actually a little bit surprised at such a transparent hit-piece coming from the NYT. But for this to have any hope of undoing McCain, the NYT has to be hoping that Drudge and the NYPost pick up the story and condense it into understandable, all-American 72-point font. Something like MCCAIN BOINKS BLONDE BIMBO. Otherwise, there is no way that such a set of vague allegation will ever penetrate to the American consciousness. And, of course the Drudge/Murdoch coverage will focus entirely on how the LIBERAL NYTIMES BACKSTABS MAVERICK SENATOR
Fact: Gary Hart was a groomsman in John McCain second wedding.
Look, he didn't do it... its just a ruse to make us think he is CAPABLE of doing it. Even with viagra he can't do it anymore.
I wouldn't be surprised if it was the Mccain camp who planted this. Look at the timing of this thing. If you are a democrat you want this to drop during the general election, like the night before election day. What better way to distance yourself from an endorsement from the New York Times and get conservatives and republicans to your side against the Liberal Times!
This doesn't seem like something the Huckster would do. This could be the conservatives who hate Walnuts, but why would they release it to the New York Times? Why not Drudgie?
I'm just saying.
McCain better hope the fuck that he's running against Hillary and not Obama. McCain with wither under the 10,000 watt charisma of Barry.
@jagorev: Actually, in the Washington Post article it says that the Drudge Report already picked up on this...in December. [www.washingtonpost.com]
Best comment on freerepublic.com:
"Why do french politicians have affairs with super models while american politicians have affairs with dopes?"
Best comment on wonkette.com:
BY EL BOMBASTICO AT 09:13 PM
Ha ha. Still "very proud of your country", Cindy?? Even as your husband is screwing around behind your back?? Who woulda thunk he would cheat on his wife with a younger blonde...
oh, wait... never mind, Cindy.
"Mr. McCain's confidence in his ability to distinguish personal friendships from compromising connections was at the center of questions advisers raised about Ms. Iseman."
Sure, John -- the lobbyists you meet like you for who you are. And they find it charming that you can't keep your hands off their tits. And passing legislation they send you? That's just what friends do. Although it's a credit to your fine moral compass that you usually see the error of your ways after it blows up.
@mrblifil: Just imagining his O-face gets me hot:
Way to go, Walnuts!! There's a bit of pork(ing) W wouldn't dream of vetoing.
Here are some palindromes to illustrate that McCain, born in the occupied Panama Canal Zone, is not eligible to be a candidate for president:
No McCain: a man, a plan, a canal, Panamaniac c'mon.
No McCain: a man a Panamaniac c'mon.
No McCain: a maniac c'mon.
See Weaver-McCain Team Meltdown, Version 1.0
"A final meeting on Monday among McCain, Weaver and Nelson, which came shortly after McCain returned from a trip to Iraq, was described by several Republican sources as extremely acrimonious."
"...advisers said Weaver's departure was as unthinkable as Karl Rove leaving George W. Bush or James Carville being shooed out of the Bill Clinton campaign."
Architect, exit right.
Enter left, DEMOLITION MAN
I almost got "Nam" to fit in one.
oh PLEASE...everyone who is anyone in D.C. knows that McCain is strictly dickly.
John, come on man blame this mess on Viagra. You were out of your head. The little blue pill made you do it, again and again and again. [www.politiporn.com]