*MARYLAND POLLS TO NEVER CLOSE:* The State of Maryland will keep polls open an extra hour and a half, until 9:30, because of the weather problems. Your associate editor correspondent knows this, as he is a registered voter in Maryland but couldn’t get there from DC after finding every road closed due to ice accidents. Our video correspondent for the evening, Mr. Ian Schwartz, also a Maryland resident, voted for Ron Paul “for fun.”

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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