Wonkette

If Hillary Clinton does not become president, according to her new ad “Freefall,” you will plummet from 15,000 feet into the hard, frozen soil of the Siberian winter, where malicious Asian yak will rape and eat you and your family’s splattered remains, forever. But if she does become president, the economy will give everyone millions of dollars! Well, she probably has to play the “I know the economy” card as much as possible, and she’s… doing that. [YouTube]