I meant to just do a quick one-time liveblog of Huckabee’s loser speech; next thing you know they’re all going at the same time. Enjoy the sloppy three-part liveblog after the jump.
9:11 — Country music playing, because he’s in South Carolina. Wife looks fat, so so fa– 9:11!
9:12 — “There is world of hurt out there in America.” And for that, you can thank my son David.
9:13 — “I’m cumming from you.” Aww shucks, I wasn’t THAT good, Mikey.
9:13 — America’s looking forward to the government leaving us alone, which is why I’m here harassing your small bar talking about putting me in the government.
9:14 — Oh, here come the jokes: Vote for me or I’ll slash your tires or feed you to my Jesus fish.
9:15 — HE SAID REAGAN WAS IN FOURTH IN 1980! Maybe fourth to Zeus (Poseidon, that would be?), but certainly nothing less.
9:16 — My pastor used to tell me about getting kicks in the butt. The metaphor aspect only applies to the “kicks” part.
Gah! Fox interrupted Huckabee for John McCain’s speech. I guess we should talk about WALNUTS NOW!:
9:17 — I don’t mind a fight! I fought when I was tortured.
Gah pt. 2! Fox interrupted WALNUTS! now to show Mittens. Apparently he wouldn’t wait for McCain to finish — where did this guy’s class go? Meh, I liveblogs what I sees:
9:19 — Romney admits he thought he had no fucking chance after New Hamsters.
9:20 — In Washington they’re worrying, because they know I’m coming! This is a positive message for me!
9:20 — Washington has no ethics, Washington has high taxes, Washington has high gas prices…
9:21 — … Washington has abortions, Washington has the government, Washington has insiders…
9:21 — … Washington… they’ve got… nothing works in Washington… gotta get in there…
9:22 — Wash… European-style gov… All these fags in the DCs… illegals… Reagan?
9:23 — REAGAN! Back on track.
9:24 — Reagan never accepted defeat, and neither will I!
9:25 — Washington is broken! I said that? You pinko. Washington for the Romneys.
9:25 — gtg buy more money thanks fans blah bye.
Thanks for staggering your speeches, Fox cocks.