Wonkette

In a testament to the fast-moving wheels of our justice system, John “McSlappy” Sweeney pleaded guilty yesterday to reduced charges stemming from Saturday night’s drunken road head incident. He’ll pay a fine and lose his license, but earns no jail time. For those that think that losing his license isn’t a huge punishment, I can only say: he lives in upstate New York, where there is nowhere to run to, baby, it’s practically house arrest. Also, he swears he didn’t ask the cops, “Do you know who I am?”, but he was drunk. We all say stuff drunk we don’t remember later. [Albany Times Union]