Wonkette

Uh, so, hi! I’m the Anonymous Lobbyist and I’m the newest member of the Wonkette team and the only one brave enough to have her picture taken. Also, I have a real name and a warning for the perpetually unfunny: I know how to ban you. However, I get paid by page views, so that shit’s all after the jump.

So, for all your Google-ing needs, my name is Megan Carpentier, I was (until recently) an actual lobbyist, I have virtually no qualifications for this job other than a bad attitude, a knowledge of politics and some basic computer skills, and I’m pretty sure they hired me because it was easier than doing the paperwork for somebody new.

Anyone who has been faithfully reading may be shocked, SHOCKED, to find out that I fudged some personal details in the column. Um, hello? I wanted to avoid the fate of those that came before me. Some of the fibs are: I only interned on the Hill; my last boss was not a complete fuckwit; I am actually a blonde; I don’t contribute politically; and I did work on transportation policy once upon a time. There are probably others, but I wrote drunk most of the time, so, you know, sue me.

And, now for the pictures (courtesy of photographer Lisa Boggs):

Anyway, please commence the hazing in the comments below. A word of advisement: as one of your benevolent overlords, I am hereby declaring this the last occasion to make gratuitous, unfunny references to my breasts, so get it out of your system. In the future, they had better be funny or relevant, or you will risk banishment. If you haven’t noticed from my writing, I’m kind of a capricious bitch.