Sorry Our Site Hasn’t Worked All Day!

We don’t know what the hell’s going on, and headquarters hasn’t even bothered sending one of those “tech’s on it!” e-mails for the past few hours, so who knows what’s wrong. In any case, while they shop for new hamsters for the exercise wheel that apparently powers Wonkette’s web server, we will continue to try to post a few things, maybe, until we give up and start drinking because what the hell, it’s 5 o’clock on a Friday. Also, we sent this “I’m Sorry” card to all of you, individually, but don’t get upset if you don’t receive it, because everything’s broken.